Sylvia's Journal

From one day to another there about 100 to 150 hits on our Caringbridge site. “Did you know you had that so people in your community?” asked Gary last night. ‘No,’ said Axel, ‘we had not realized that.’ We actually never had thought of ourselves as embedded in a community. But we are and we know it now.

I remember Axel complaining some years ago that our social life paled in comparison to that of others. I did not quite understand him then and I think he will never ask that question again. It had something to do with having parties at other people’s houses, with invitations and all that. My preference has always been the last minute call about a dinner, something like ‘we have some terrific this or that, would you like to join us?’ Or us getting on the phone, ‘it is a beautiful evening at Lobster Cove, come join us’; or even better, ‘the tide is right, come pick some mussels.’ The last one is more of an order. We did not do this a lot, but frequently enough. Food and company and good conversation…these are intimately linked.

The first month after our accident we were engulfed by our community. I liked it while Axel was at times overwhelmed. He had been in the hospital for over a month and I think that made a difference. For me it was like the loose strands that made up the web of people we know, got tightened by the care and concern that each brought to us as soon as they heard of our plight. This web had lots of thin threads and loose ends flapping in the wind. But with each call, email, card, meal, ride and the accompanying conversation this loose network fashioned itself into a tight and beautifully patterned web. And still, to this day, people enter from the fringes and want to be part of this.

This, our rescue community, may well have become something of an archetypal community, like the old village. All that the villagers need to thrive is right there. The food is grown, then cooked, then consumed right there. The smith, the doctor, the midwife, the negotiator, the warrior, the farmer and the baker contribute what the village needs. Everything is there when it is needed.

We are not sure how it happened but we know it has something to do with permanence and being rooted in the same place for a long time. It has something to do with living in the town where one grew up, where the policeman was a classmate; it is about being married to the same person for a long time and being included each others’ networks; it is also about kids going to a small school that emphasized community and made sometimes reluctant parents work together on complex tasks and discover the joy of each others’ company. It is about sending out deep roots and holding on. We know how lucky we are that we got all this. I am not sure we ever realized how very rich we were.

The community certainly kicked in again yesterday with visits from MSH colleagues Mary O’Neil and Edith Maes and her husband Rutger, and more food than we can handle. As per the Airset schedule Peggy showed up with a very complete meal, including cake, cookies and drinks. A couple of hours later Fatou showed up. She had decided not to call me first expecting to be refered to the calendar and that would get too complicated; so instead she cooked what I think was a very complicated four course dinner and dropped it off. We gave our visitors large take out dishes and forced them to help themselves. What a deal, you come for a visit (and were forbidden to bring food) and then return with a bag of food. And then we had enough to invite Gary and Christine to finish the rest (there were still leftovers even after Jim and Sita joined). Since we were still working on leftovers from Friday we think the food program can come to an end, now that we can shop, harvest and cook ourselves again and with a freezer still full of parked meals.