Sylvia's Journal

We finished the four day Coaching & Communication workshop for managers, supervisors and coaches who are responsible for reproductive health or other health services. Eighteen participants joined us, coming from the Ukraine, Ghana, Kenya, Tanzania, the DRC and Uganda. We had revamped an older curriculum that was based on a modular approach spread out over a long period of time. It was a test and an opportunity for us to try something new.

As usual I kept exploring and reading until I landed in Kampala to see if there was something newer, something potential more impactful that we could add to the mix of inherited sessions. I revisited and re-read Kegan and Lahey’s book about competing commitments which I sensed was just the antidote for the usual New Year’s Resolutions that we see at the end of workshops (I will work on my listening skills, I will be a better human being, etc.)

We had reserved the last session for exploring of competing commitments and the concept of immunity to change because it required some level of trust and intimacy in the group. We felt we had reached that stage because of the constant practice sessions in trios. By Friday everyone was quite familiar with the daily life struggles and challenges of each other, and recognized how universal they were.

Everyone came with five challenges they had to deal with, related to relationships with peers, with bosses, with recalcitrant or non-performing staff. All of these they considered obstacles to both the quality and quantity of service delivery. This link to services was important because both our funders and their employers had agreed that this workshop would ultimately benefit the users or would-be users of those services. This was an assumption that we had to prove. We engaged everyone in this collective challenge by creating our theory of change which then informed the development of our monitoring and evaluation plan.

We had created several opportunities each day, usually in trios, to apply and practice the various concepts we covered: giving or receiving feedback, coaching, listening, inquiring versus advocating, facilitating learning, repairing relationships, exploring why we often cannot be honest when we have to have the hard talks, and re-writing the scripts of failed conversations.

One recurrent theme throughout the process was the inability to speak truth to power. We could see how, for them, as it is for us on the other side of the Atlantic, not being able to speak truth to power is the cause of many initiatives failing to deliver on promises (at best) or terribly gone awry (at worst) with sometimes catastrophic consequences for individuals or whole populations.

We used a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon as teaching material. Despite Hobbes’ warning that they (Calvin and Hobbes) are heading for a cliff in their red radio flyer, the wild ride continues. Why worry about later when you are having fun now?. Hobbes is speaking truth to power (we are heading for the cliff), but is unable to stop the inevitable and unpleasant conclusion of the ride from happening.

We can all come up with examples of this in real life. The US’ misguided actions after 9/11, the arms race, dictatorial regimes, and, at a micro level, the sons of powerful persons who are never held accountable for raping or impregnating school girls.

Except for a few very brave souls (many of whom either stand to lose their freedom or live(lihood)), most of us reluctantly accept what happens so that we don’t have to fight with our demons or confront our deepest fears. In the immunity to change session some people did get a whiff of those fears. Although they could be real (when the stakes are high) in ordinary life many of our fears are imagined and never put to a test. If we did, and found out that they are unfounded, lots of things would stop to be problems, and many a ride towards a cliff would be diverted in time.

My co-facilitator has left after a day of debriefs, next steps and new assignments, two actually, falling into my lap which may require another trip to Uganda later this year. I am settling on the last trips for 2013: Pakistan and then Uganda.

We completed the retreat that produced a solid first draft of a strategic plan, with choices made and focus areas clarified. We looked for things that cost money and where the money could come from and things that can be attached to activities already funded. It was hard work, three days of hard work indeed.

We ended the retreat with everyone plastering everyone else with colored sticky notes indicating what everyone had appreciated about everyone else. We were quite a sight and parted on a high note.

Susan and I celebrated the completion of our assignment with our last Indian meal at the terrace looking out over Lake Victoria in the cool evening air, cleared by monsoon like rains during the day. We have been eating superb Indian food all week long and had pretty much exhausted the choices on the menu.

Today we finally made it out of the resort hotel and headed into Kampala proper. We had lunch with our client and then headed out to the MSH office to meet colleagues known only via Skype or email, shook hands with some of the 200+ office staff we have here in Kampala, met the chief and a colleague I have known for decades who is now one of the four project directors.

I packed my suitcase watching Ugandan TV and was surprised to see a special on vasectomy. That would not have been possible a decade ago I believe. A banner ran at the bottom of the screen stating that ‘experts target men as population spirals.’ I have been wondering ever since what that means.

We are lodged at the Speke Commonwealth Munyanyo Resort. It is a vast conference complex on the shore of Lake Victoria. “It is the biggest lake in Africa,” said the young man who was showing me my room, proudly.

My room looks out at the man-made Marina where a few fancy pleasure boats are moored plus a few canoes, upgraded versions of the traditional hollowed out tree trunks. We hired one yesterday for a spin around the section of the vast lake where the resort is located. There are birds everywhere: grebes, egrets, marabout vultures, kingfishers, and many I cannot name.

Breakfast is served on a wide porch that the British knew so well to construct in the buildings you can find all over the commonwealth. The main impetus behind this is, I believe, the sundowner as these terraces are always facing the setting sun. It is kind of a G&T place.

On my first breakfast I was just about the only woman on the enormous porch, surrounded by at least 50 men. I didn’t recognize their language, it sounded rather unfamiliar, and their skin color didn’t give much away, a generic pale coffee color. I asked and discovered they were don Turkey. I was able to greet them in their own language, to their great surprise.

We are entering day 4 of the 5 day global meeting of my pharmaceutical management colleagues. The format of spending much time in small group work is new to many – the energy is high, mine and theirs. We are tackling challenges as they temporarily block us from our vision but mostly the path is clear. I am having great fun, trying out new things, improvising, and reconfirming that this is the work I love to do.

In the meantime the coaching work is continuing. This morning I got up at 3:30 to follow a teleclass that is done from the west coast, afternoon time. It was about coaching people on the issue of time. Time is coming up a lot in the meeting and so it was, indeed, perfect timing.

I am trying to practice my coaching skills, becoming more and more aware of my errors: asking closed questions, suggesting solutions. This awareness has taken the sting out of making mistakes – something I have struggled with for a long time.

Today’s meeting is all about planning, the logic and use of planning, the review of planning processes. I have, over the years, sat in countless meetings with staff trying to figure out how to do this right. I have yet to see a group that does it well. When I put my coaching hat on I can see why planning is so difficult; when I take it off and have, myself, to comply with someone’s planning process I get caught up in the negative energy that so often accompanies the annual planning ritual. It’s the difference between ‘have to’ and ‘want to.’

I am trying to rope people in to perform on our end of meeting celebration. There are some surprises in people stepping forward with a poem, a monologue or a song, and much reluctance among most others. I am coaxing a few groups, like the Afghans and the Ethiopians, to participate in the talent show. I am not sure I am going to be successful. Our early morning yoga group is going to put up a demo which we learned, called the flow of life.

About 24 hours after I pulled the door shut in Manchester I landed in Entebbe with 8 colleagues who had flown in from DC and joined me in Amsterdam. One of them is Ugandan, living in DC. You could tell he was from here by looking at the amount of baggage he carried – loads of gifts (or may be orders) for the family. He didn’t join us in the bus that took us on the 1 hour ride to Kampala. I imagine it was a happy reunion even though it was the middle of the night.

The Serena Hotel is, I am told, the best in Uganda. I certainly felt like I was gently placed in the lap of luxury, worth the long plane ride. Every room has a balcony and all the amenities you can imagine, even an electronic scale to register my pre-conference weight to be checked again next Friday.

When I stepped out on the balcony to take in the cool Kampala night air a drama was staged at the entrance of a neighboring hotel. Well-dressed men in suits who had had too much to drink stumbled out of the main entrance with a few women in tight clothes who were fending them off with high-pitched voices. I couldn’t tell whether I was watching a playful end of a party or the abuse of women that would require an intervention. But then they moved en masse out of sight and things calmed down, at least that is what I hoped, especially for the women.

With all that excitement and being beyond tired, it was not until 1:30 in the morning that I closed my eyes – such a shame to fall asleep in such a beautiful place.

Today we dotted the ‘I’s and crossed the ‘t’s by checking out the rooms, the supplies, and the set-up. The conference rooms are in a separate building that is clearly a desired place for weddings. I saw at least three brides and grooms, well-heeled members of the wedding parties and countless cute little girls dressed up in starched white frou-frou dresses. The main hall was turned into a shiny and glimmering backdrop for one of these weddings – an extravaganza that would have won out in a competition with Afghan wedding halls.

For lunch we walked over to the local shopping center, risking life and limb crossing various roads teeming with motorcycles and fast moving traffic. I felt like an old lady as I hobbled across the uneven ground and should have worn my orthopedic boot.

The mall, like all malls around the world, had a food court. It is a little different from our food courts: the moment you walk in employees of a row of fast food places welcome you, smiling and menu in hand. They seat you, put place mats on the table and provide you with all their menus. We had a choice of Indian, Chinese and Korean. The Persian place had moved or gone out of business.

After you select from one of the menus and place your order you wait for the food to be brought to your table. Only after you have eaten do you pay the bill. It’s ‘medium food’ – faster than slow food and slower than fast food.

After lunch we met with the public address system manager of the hotel who sketched out the PA arrangements on a flip chart. Then it was tea time. We had tea in the bar while it rained outside and Uganda and Angola battled each other for a place on the Africa soccer cup tournament list. Uganda apparently won by a hair. People were happy, all except the Angolans.

This afternoon I welcomed our Afghan colleagues who arrived from Dubai. They are all former colleagues of mine. I stumbled over my Dari, having forgotten the most common words. It is such a shame, considering where I was on my learning curve, just where it starts to even out and you can actually say something sensible. Maybe they’ll help me regain some of my vocabulary.

Showtime starts tomorrow at 6 PM, a little less than 24 hours away. I am about 90% prepared – missing the energy that comes from being with all the participants for the final 10%.