Sylvia's Journal

The truck has now become part of the waking up routine but I am cool about it; I know it will be gone as soon as I step into the shower. I woke up with/from a coughing fit just as I was pondering how to clean up a gigantic mess at a party and organize some sort of raffle for a gift that was too spectacular for the flimsy scheme I had in mind. It was an organizational nightmare and no one was cooperating, only making more messes, and I am glad I woke up.

With Sita stuck in Chicago and Jim out in Western Mass, last night was our first night home alone. It had not dawned on me until quite late; too late to call in a reserve. It was one more step towards our full recovery and being in charge of our own lives. It felt a bit naughty; imagine, home alone, without supervision from our children!

We did just fine. This means that we don’t need night nurses anymore. Nevertheless, we have taken a subscription to (Thursday) night nurse David since it is fun to have him and he brings the cutest little dog, and bagels and lox for breakfast. He also brings something else: David’s presence makes us sit together at the table for breakfast and talk, instead of consuming our food at the counter, a bad old habit that is coming back as we recover. We are discovering that ‘normal’ includes a bunch of bad habits, things we regarded during our times of helplessness and dependence as a part of our old life that we did not want back. But I have noticed them slipping in through the back door. Last night Axel was upstairs messing around with his computer while I was working downstairs. It was after 9 PM!

After my super busy day on Thursday, yesterday was a cinch. I had no appointments and instead focused on work and exercises or just puttering around. As my colleague Sarah had promised/predicted, the work is gushing in and so this part of my life starts to feel normal as well (bad habits and all). It was a glorious day and I spent part of it outside.

Axel and David came back from his OT appointment and a shopping trip around 1 PM; just in time for his follow up visit with his primary care doctor. Annie Madden came down from West Newbury to drive him and visit with us. They came back with good news: off the iron pills, all blood work is normal and his ears are clean!

The Pulkinnens from Quaker Meeting came by to drop off a casserole and salad and spent some time catching up with Axel who they had not seen for months while I was on the phone for nearly two hours talking with my youngest brother in Holland about events in our family I have been exploring during my EMDR therapy. I had written him about these and asked what he remembered. It is amazing how different our memories are and how big the holes. And yet we lived under the same roof, with the same parents for many years, witnessing the same events.

And then we went to bed, all by ourselves, yeahhhh!!!