Sylvia's Journal

During our first days in the hospital the big news was that we would all fully recover but that it would take awhile. The only part of ‘awhile’ that we could envision at the time were two endless months, a time for the bones to heal and get back home. The days and weeks went slowly at first and then everything started to accelerate to this week where major milestones were accomplished (more on that later). We have completed the first phase of the period called ‘awhile.’ That we accomplished it we know from X-rays, scans, doctors and people’s reactions (“Wow, you two look great!”). If you were to see us standing still and from an angle that would obscure Axel’s scar, we look entirely normal. But we feel far from normal because there is still much we can’t do and much that hurts.

The next phase of ‘awhile’ is going to be much longer; we are talking about 6 to 10 months. It is a very stretched out ‘awhile’ that will require amounts of patience that far exceed what we needed to muster so far. Our bodies can do laundry and cleaning but our muscles, tendons and ligaments are still traumatized and they protest when we act a little bit too normal; and the nerves, well, they aren’t even in the picture yet.

Before the crash I never thought much about range of motion, or real feeling in some parts of our bodies. Now we are both keenly aware of what’s missing. It’s sad that you have to lose something in order to appreciate what you had. Luckily, we are told none of our losses are going to be permanent. This promise sustains us and makes us look around at the things we do have, and appreciate them wile we still have them. And we certainly know, experientially, that nothing is forever and things can change on a dime. Horace has been telling us this for centuries with his Carpe Diem.

More freedoms again on Saturday. This truly was the most spectacular week in terms of milestones; the week in which we turned the most corners: Tuesday: Axel’s brace off; Thursday: my boot off; Friday: driving again and Saturday: flying again.

The flying part was a bit sneaky on Arne’s part. I had gone to the flight center to deliver the last of the replacement headsets. I made sure the new plane was on the ground so I could touch it (click on the photo tab of Caringbridge and you’ll see me and my new plane). I even climbed into the plane and sat at the controls, with no intent to go flying. But when I went back into the office Arne suggested we go for a little spin over Essex County and circle over our house, check out the big cruise ship in Gloucester harbor and do some fish spotting over Salem harbor. It was a glorious day and I consented on the condition that I’d be a passenger, not pilot; I took the right seat, a place I had never sat in before, to show that I was serious about not piloting myself. Of course Arne had different plans and later I regretted I took the right seat. He did have me take off and cruise and when it was time to return and land, he demonstrably folded his arms and left the controls to me. But I was in the wrong seat and everything was reversed. Getting ready for landing made me break out into a cold sweat. I gave the controls back to Arne and he landed us safely. It is now very clear that I need to do some serious work on landings, both in my EMDR sessions and with a flight instructor.
But the exciting part is that I flew again, and that I know that my body can handle the mechanics without strain or pain. I was a glorious fall day, and I knew why I went flying in the first place.

Back home it was exercise time again and the rest of the afternoon we prepared our toasts/roasts for Andrew, who celebrated his 60th birthday. His birthday party in Essex’s lovely shipbuilding museum was wonderful. We saw many old friends and everyone marveled at our ‘normalcy.’ I wore jewelry and a skirt for the first time; it was our first real party, with music, dancing and lots of people. Unfortunately we could not participate in the contra dancing, something I would have loved to do. Such things will have to wait ‘awhile.’