Sylvia's Journal

Before I write each day I read the new messages on the Caringbridge site. I assure you, there is no such a thing as ‘lege kreten’ (empty words/slogans) as each message props me up and each adds to the healing, thank you so much for writing us!

I had a very long night, 12 hours, and slept some of those partly on my side, supporting my sore ribs with pillows, a new found freedom.

Yesterday was another exhausting day; I don’t know why and can only hope that the exhaustion comes from tremendous work done inside my body, even though it doesn’t necessarily feel that way. I went to bed at 6 PM dead tired and once again in tears and feeling lousy. Sita sat wit me for some time and we remembered the many nights I sat with her when she was little and needed my presence to fall asleep. I’d do a hundred of these nights over again with this knowledge of their caring, nursing and deep love.

Sita spent hours with Axel yesterday to sort out our (his) financial administration system and she thinks she gets it now. After all this is over we may hire her to continue doing this. It made me all very anxious and I am relieved now.

Debbie, our neighbor came early in the morning a time when the house is always in deep sleep (the girls are night owls) and we sat and talked for an hour about everything and nothing. She left me with lunch, cookies and coffee. Later in the day Dianne showed up with another batch of the now famous Beirut gazpacho. Lynn showed up with another delicious cold soup and wonderful grainy bread. All together this was my dinner. Lynn’s daughter Essie recently started working with a PR firm in New York, a connection I was able to make through their staff member Gerald who works with MSH on our leadership program. It is a small world and it shows, as Caringbridge shows too, there is nothing quite as powerful as a network of connections.

In the background Paul, Axel’s therapist, and Mary Wright, are working quietly to set me up with a more permanent psychological support system. I am a little daunted by the prospect of having to establish such a new relationship again, as I know it is a big investment of energy, but I realize it will pay off in the long run. After all, I do want to come out of this strong and healthy again, both in body and mind.

Several friends from out of state and out of the country are calling me/us frequently, sending flowers, cards, foot massage cream, licorice, music, fancy food packages and books/videos with such appropriate titles as “How to be Idle” and “the meaning of life.” Thanks to Sietske, Emilie, the ASE staff, Ok, Annette. I am buoyed by all this attention and the girls love to unpack these goodies and participate in the eating (especially the cookies and the licorice).

Now the countdown starts for Axel’s return: one more week. This is as far as my horizon goes. I am glad to know that Joan is returning home on Saturday. Those of you who know Joan and Morsi, and live in or near Boston, please check in with them to help with this transition. I have several dedicated caretakers and they all need some time off. I am sure that Morsi is going to need some reinforcement as Joan probably needs someone to be with her at all times of the day. Good luck Joan, I hope you can hear us cheering!