Sylvia's Journal

Axel’s first night of freedom, and for that matter his second, was not so great. They consisted of short bouts of sleeping interrupted by long periods of worry and discomfort. The first night he was very anxious about making unauthorized moves. It is funny how we are afraid to hurt our bodies when it is our body that hurts us. When my leg was first released from its cast I was afraid the healed break would not hold, even though I had seen the X-ray showing the bones had grown nicely back together. I only have to look at the picture of the plane wreck to assure myself that our bodies are a tough bunch. It is the rest of us that is frail and vulnerable.

Very early this morning I found Axel up and moving his wedge and some of his pillows back onto his side of the bed. We had a somewhat sleepy conversation about what was going on. He was searching for ‘the right position,’ he told me, “I am just not used to moving like this anymore. I try to sleep on my side but my bones have not been stacked like this. It feels funny and every move hurts.” Suffice to say, freedom hurts and is not quite what it is cracked up to be. I bet the Iraqis feel that way too.

Yesterday morning Sita and I went to Beverly Hospital to get an X-ray of my cervical spine. My stiff neck has thus far been treated only with ultrasound and soft tissue massage. The PT wants to make sure the fractures were healed properly before she starts with mobilization exercises. It sounds ominous. As for the painful right upper arm, its condition has a name now: rotator cuff tendonitis. I thought I was doing good pushing through the pain when doing my shoulder and upper arm exercises. As it turned out I had been irritating the tendon. So for my ankle the pain is part of extending my range of motion. I have to grin and bear it; for the arm pain is bad and to be avoided.

Wayne Bennett came around lunch to take Axel to his OT appointment and returned him when I was on my way to PT. This is very much what our days are like and it is going to be worse when PT gets added to Axel’s OT roster.

I had my first banking and shopping experience since the crash. Combine that with the wheelchair being returned, the ramps gone, me doing the laundry, vacuuming, cooking and some work in front of my computer, and you’d think it was an ordinary day. Life is getting increasingly ordinary, which means busy. The days are flying by.

For dinner Axel was whisked away by Lark Madden for a ‘Boys Night Out.’ They went to a local restaurant with an interesting menu and both ordered venison. I am sure their meal was accompanied by a good glass of wine. Sita, Jim and I had a meal from the garden: potatoes and green beans enriched by leftover chicken and ice cream for desert, while we watched D-Day and the folly of war on TV. My eyes zoomed in on planes, pilots and too many crashes. I wished Ken Burns had finished his WWII documentary before we went to war in Iraq. It might have changed the course of history.