Sylvia's Journal

The World Economic Forum (WEF) is in full swing now. I watched some of the opening sessions on YouTube, trying to spot Sita but I suspect she was someplace else, busy with the planning of their Workspace sessions. She is working hard and having a great time. The theme of this year’s annual meeting is the Power of Collaborative Innovation, a topic close to my heart. The website will show the graphics and maybe even a glimpse of Sita at work.(http://www.weforum.org/en/events/AnnualMeeting2008/WorkSpace/index.htm)

The Workspace puts the theme into action in ways that warms my heart and gives me hope. Tapping into the collective ingenuity of people is what we do too little of. I sometimes think that this is like a family business for us. My trips to Africa and other places are all about that, albeit on more of a shoestring budget than this WEF affair. We are all trying to accomplish the same things. If we keep remembering that, we might trip less over each other when coming up with strategies.

Yesterday was particularly busy because I thought I was leaving in less than two weeks for Ethiopia and many things had to be compressed into small time slots between now and then. But just when I went to get my absentee ballot I was told the trip to Ethiopia is off and I can decompress a little. When a trip is cancelled it is like getting a gift of time; one whole extra week, such luxury. The next trip (outside the US) will be the end of February to Tanzania. That seems a long way off right now.

This morning I had another session with Ruth and we talked about the half year mark and what had changed. I felt on top of the world. I have my energy back, I can juggle multiple tasks again like I used to and whatever fog was in my head seems to have lifted. One by one the crash chapters are closing. One of the images that came up was a little fish dodging bigger fish snapping at it and trying to devour it. We talked about dodging death and whether I saw it simply as good luck or something else. When I was with Piet and Sietske in Holland Piet had asked me whether I thought this was something more than good luck and my answer was that good luck was too simple an answer and that I liked to think that there was something else for me to do. I thought some more about ‘dodging’ after reading about the Serena Hotel bombing in Kabul last week. Sita and I stayed in that hotel nearly two years ago. At that time we sometimes heard the large glass windows rattle when yet another rocket was fired at the US compound. But I was never afraid. In hindsight, maybe I should have been.

Axel and I went to the new Beverly Hospital breast clinic to follow up on the pea-sized lump in my right breast. First a mammogram and then, only if necessary, the ultrasound. The ultrasound was necessary, which gave me pause. It also took a long time leaving me much to much time to think as I was lying on a bed in a dimly lit room with machines humming around me. The technician finally left to see the doctor and then came back with him. It seemed they were confused by what they saw until I explained about the crash and the flattened and bruised breast. He was not quite sure what follow-up action to recommend but it seems there are more appointments with specialists in my future. This is one chapter of the crash that is only now being opened. Axel asked how I felt, after admitting he was scared. I think I am mostly annoyed because everything was going so well.

As for chapters that are closing, I have been discharged from physical therapy. I asked Julia, “Is this it? No speeches, certificates or flowers? You just take one last set of measurements and cancel all the rest of my appointments and then I am done?” It seems odd, after having been going there for four months, four times a week. I remembered how I first hobbled in on my crutches right after Labor Day. That was ages ago. But there is little that physical therapy has to offer now. The rest of my healing is going to happen by itself as long as I keep up my exercises. With the help from Abi, our massage therapist, the stiffness will gradually disappear and we can get on with our lives. I gave Julia a big hug and pulled the PT office door shut behind me for the last time. Back home I took a pencil and crossed out all the PT appointments in our desk calendar. It made me feel light and free, at least for now. Soon there will be new appointments with doctors and breast surgeons, but for now the days are clear.