Sylvia's Journal

Axel woke up this morning to aches and pains all over his body; he moved with great difficulty. His recovery is by no means the steady upward trend that my trajectory has been. The pains drained his energy and ability to do the exercises he has to do, several times a day, and certainly in the morning. He took a hot bath and went back to bed and fell asleep. I am past the constant pain and it is amazing how quickly one forgets, even when I look at Axel.

I did not call him when the beautiful orange-furred fox showed up in the yard. It would have been too hard for Axel to pull himself up out of the bathtub and look. Foxes are furtive animals. It surely would have been gone by the time he would have been able to see out of the window. I followed it with my eyes, not daring to move, as it wandered around the abandoned bunny pen and then sniffed at the door of Sita’s and Jim’s place; it must have been the cat smell. But something moved under the barn and scared it away.

I went upstairs to look at my Native American animal book to understand what the presence of this fox was telling me. Foxes are superb in blending into their surroundings. As a result of that they are cunning observers and excellent scouts to spot danger. They use stealth for stalking their prey or distraction of those who are after their young. Looking out for their families is one thing that resonated with me. Except that here it is not the young ones that need looking after but rather the old(est) one. Seeing Axel suffer this morning was enough to summon Abi to his rescue with her superb massage skills.

This morning I called my brothers in Holland; one about to be discharged from the hospital after getting a small tumor out of his neck and the other dealing with the aftermath of a restructuring exercise at work that left him dangling, at the end of a long career. Luckily everything seems to be sorting itself out in ways that leaves both of them better off. After my own mishap I am more tuned in to the healing power of connection, even from a distance.

We went to see DJ who was back in his leather shop after having had open heart surgery in Boston last week. I wouldn’t have known from watching him; he acted as if nothing happened. DJ and I have now something in common: big scars down our chests. It was too cold to compare them; maybe we‘ll do that when it is warmer. Axel took pictures of DJ at work to send to Tessa to prove that he is still his old self except for the cow valve in his heart. We all agreed that this was an appropriate new body part for a guy whose life is all about leather and hides.

Last night we went to the St. Johns for an impromptu (and delicious) dinner. We watched Sita at work in the photo gallery on the WEF Workspace website. There is one picture where she is standing right behind an ayatollah-sort-of-man who is involved in a simulation about the Middle East. Sita told us she can’t wait to tell us about that session; we can’t wait either. When we are with the St. Johns we talk a lot about our children and the joys and worries of parenthood. When I first got pregnant with Sita I am not sure I really understood that this new phase we were about to enter was for life. When the girls took care of us this summer and fall we knew we had completed a good chunk of that phase successfully. Now I look back on that period and appreciate the gifts that Sita and Tessa bestowed on us during those difficult times. With the parental foxes being temporary out of circulation, the young ones took over the protector role. That part is done for now although we know that one day they will be called upon again; we are in the lucky position of already knowing that we will be in the best of hands.