A weird night, full of dreams interspersed with bathroom breaks. The air is as dry as it can get. My sinuses hurt from the pressure and the dryness. My allergies or whatever is wrong with my head, are now beginning to feel like an old-fashioned cold, one I haven’t had since the crash. Everything is still measured against the crash. It has become a demarcation line between normal and not normal, no matter how hard I try.
It is only 3 AM but I am wide awake and know that if I don’t write the dreams down now they will be gone later.
The dreams, as usual, make little sense at first. Tessa is running a bath that is full to overflowing; she gets distracted by a call from Sita, one floor higher, and gives an answer that, in my mind, is not complete. As I walk up to Tessa to ask why, it looks as if she is adding water to her full tub; it is not her but someone else, familiar in the dream but unrecognizable now, in my wakeful state. There was also a near miss between me on a bike and someone I knew in a car, who chided me for standing on my rights of priority as a biker and my shameful self-righteousness. I saw her later at a cocktail party she gave and where she couldn’t decide what to wear while talking about rowing and encouraging me to quit my current rowing club and join hers. There was more, but now, with the lights on, the dreams pop like soap bubbles…., ‘pop’ ‘pop’ all gone!
I am sleeping under what feels like 20 pounds of blankets. They look exactly the same as the ones handed out to a community close to starvation and freezing in the Western mountains that I saw in a slide show someone sent me.
I checked the label of the blankets. They are from Korea and weigh 7.2 kg each. They could be used as weapons! I never saw blankets as a public health risk but now I see how; they cold crush an infant and smother a small child. I had two blankets but got rid of one, sleeping under 15 kilos (33 pounds) is a bit much. It isn’t as cold as people had predicted.
I cannot look out of the windows. They are covered in white cloth, stapled to the edges out of safety: no one can look in and
the cloth will catch the glass in case of explosion. The white cotton cloth is hidden by the most atrocious gold colored curtains with tulips and roses woven into the fabric’s pattern. Who thinks these things up? (I can’t wait to show pictures of the upstairs bathroom!) The combination of not being able to look out of the window and the curtains makes it hard to create the atmosphere of a nest, something I try to accomplish wherever I stay. In the beginning the nesting instinct is strong and important, but as soon as I get to know people I will be living with, the warmth of the relationships make up for what is missing in beauty. It has always been that way.
Being a house mate is a completely different experience from checking into a hotel. I like it. Mirwas gave me a tour of the house, pointing out the drills: laundry on Mondays and Thursdays; dinner cooked by a terrific Afghan chef. He asks if an early dinner is OK; with every new house mate such things have to be re-negotiated. I am shown where the towels are, and where to find plates and silverware; a thermos with hot water for coffee or tea at any time sits on the dinning table downstairs. That is also where the library is full of interesting books and tons of DVDs, any genre. I can help myself to anything in the fridge in exchange for $40 a day that covers food, a cell phone, transportation, drinks (no alcohol), laundry and all the books and videos I could ever want, plus of course the company of very interesting people. And finally I learned how to reboot the server which goes off when we switch to town electricity which is usually too weak. Steve does that now early in the morning but he will be gone in a few days.
Recent Comments