Archive for March 29th, 2008

Mid-night break

A weird night, full of dreams interspersed with bathroom breaks. The air is as dry as it can get. My sinuses hurt from the pressure and the dryness. My allergies or whatever is wrong with my head, are now beginning to feel like an old-fashioned cold, one I haven’t had since the crash. Everything is still measured against the crash. It has become a demarcation line between normal and not normal, no matter how hard I try.

It is only 3 AM but I am wide awake and know that if I don’t write the dreams down now they will be gone later.

The dreams, as usual, make little sense at first. Tessa is running a bath that is full to overflowing; she gets distracted by a call from Sita, one floor higher, and gives an answer that, in my mind, is not complete. As I walk up to Tessa to ask why, it looks as if she is adding water to her full tub; it is not her but someone else, familiar in the dream but unrecognizable now, in my wakeful state. There was also a near miss between me on a bike and someone I knew in a car, who chided me for standing on my rights of priority as a biker and my shameful self-righteousness. I saw her later at a cocktail party she gave and where she couldn’t decide what to wear while talking about rowing and encouraging me to quit my current rowing club and join hers. There was more, but now, with the lights on, the dreams pop like soap bubbles…., ‘pop’ ‘pop’ all gone!

I am sleeping under what feels like 20 pounds of blankets. They look exactly the same as the ones handed out to a community close to starvation and freezing in the Western mountains that I saw in a slide show someone sent me.

I checked the label of the blankets. They are from Korea and weigh 7.2 kg each. They could be used as weapons! I never saw blankets as a public health risk but now I see how; they cold crush an infant and smother a small child. I had two blankets but got rid of one, sleeping under 15 kilos (33 pounds) is a bit much. It isn’t as cold as people had predicted.

I cannot look out of the windows. They are covered in white cloth, stapled to the edges out of safety: no one can look in and tsguesthouse1.jpgthe cloth will catch the glass in case of explosion. The white cotton cloth is hidden by the most atrocious gold colored curtains with tulips and roses woven into the fabric’s pattern. Who thinks these things up? (I can’t wait to show pictures of the upstairs bathroom!) The combination of not being able to look out of the window and the curtains makes it hard to create the atmosphere of a nest, something I try to accomplish wherever I stay. In the beginning the nesting instinct is strong and important, but as soon as I get to know people I will be living with, the warmth of the relationships make up for what is missing in beauty. It has always been that way.

Being a house mate is a completely different experience from checking into a hotel. I like it. Mirwas gave me a tour of the house, pointing out the drills: laundry on Mondays and Thursdays; dinner cooked by a terrific Afghan chef. He asks if an early dinner is OK; with every new house mate such things have to be re-negotiated. I am shown where the towels are, and where to find plates and silverware; a thermos with hot water for coffee or tea at any time sits on the dinning table downstairs. That is also where the library is full of interesting books and tons of DVDs, any genre. I can help myself to anything in the fridge in exchange for $40 a day that covers food, a cell phone, transportation, drinks (no alcohol), laundry and all the books and videos I could ever want, plus of course the company of very interesting people. And finally I learned how to reboot the server which goes off when we switch to town electricity which is usually too weak. Steve does that now early in the morning but he will be gone in a few days.

Connected

I spent a restless night in utter luxury in Dubai. My fancy room, appointed in pink, contained an industrial size espresso machine, a bowl full of fruit, an ironing board, a huge flat panel screen and a balcony overlooking a lush garden and pool. All this in the middle of the desert!

While checking email I watched scenes from Holland about the release of Geert Wilder’s video – to see how far he can go enraging Muslims. There is something utterly Dutch about this whole affair; a part of Dutch mentality I do not particularly like. The Dutch newspaper I read in the plane from Amsterdam was full of commentaries on the anticipated and actual reactions – mild, balanced and far from the expected furor. Somehow it seems that the Dutch distaste of open display of emotionality has rubbed off on at least the leaders of the Muslim immigrant population. So far so good. There was a large and peaceful demonstration, allegedly, in Kabul, delaying some flights in and out of the capital. However, I was also told that many of the Imams have not seen the video yet and it is possible that the shit won’t hit the fan yet until next week which is when the Imams’ experience of the video will be transmitted, rightly or wrongly, to the general population during Friday prayers.

I arrived early at the terminal for my flight to Kabul and waited in a smoky cafeteria, right under the nicotine-stained no-smoking sign, with Eddi from Bosnia and Kirk from the Philippines, both employed by the UN in Kabul and on their way back from home leave. The small terminal contains a duty free shop that sells everything except the anti-histamines I needed badly to contain my allergic reaction to something. I could have bought Gripe Syrup, packaged in ways that may not have changed in a hundred years, and sold to remedy wind and other problems of the bowels of small children. There was an abundance of syrups, the preferred treatment it seemed over pills, amidst a great variety of condoms and CDs with Arabic music and scantily clad young ladies on the cover. This part of the world is so full of contradictions.

I am travelling to Kabul on the UN plane with some 100 expats from all parts of the world, all earning a living because Afghanistan is in shambles. This is the ‘development industry’ that some people write about in not very flattering terms. I belong to that group as well and when we travel together in such a large pack it feels a little awkward. I prefer to travel more anonymously, mixed in with the general population, as I tend to do when I go to Africa.

I sit next to Eddi in the plane, one of the two people I now ‘know’ on this flight. He falls asleep instantly. He is going back to work. As an IT specialist he is on duty all the time. We talked earlier about the folly of the UN and other organizations to want to upgrade to Office 2007 when the older version is perfectly suited to the kind of work that most of us do. This is how we create work and waste money, he said. These upgrades require bigger and newer computers and complicate our communications with people in other countries, or counterparts in ministries who don’t have the money or expertise to follow the latest fads in computer technology. Hmmm, I thought, maybe I should resist this upgrade business that requires a new computer when I am quite happy with my old one that actually fits on a tray table and in my handbag.

The trip from Dubai to Kabul takes a little less than three hours, flying mostly over desert lands. The UN plane does not have a magazine with maps and routes in the seat pockets and I can’t remember the region’s geography very well so I don’t know which desert lands we are traversing. I imagine it is Iraq and later Iran that I see far below.

I was picked up by three men, Ahmad Mourid found me where the luggage comes in, then there was a driver and another who, I assume, was a security detail. Staff security is taken very seriously and there are many dos and don’ts: no taxis, no walking on the street, no going to places where foreigners tend to, or used to congregate, etc. Even though the office is 100 meters away, we are bussed there. Only Mirwais, one of my house mates, who is Afghan, can walk there. My other house mate is Haider, originally from Bangladesh but now from Maryland, who I haven’t seen since my early days at MSH when I worked in Nigeria where Haider was with USAID. My third house mate is Steve from New Mexico/Indonesia, a pediatrician with an impressive resume that includes Commissioner of Health for the City of New York in the early AIDS days as well as Peace Corps doc in the early 60s in Nepal. We sat around the table to figure out when and where we met, if we did, and rattled off acquaintances or friends we have or may have in common; enough for some interesting conversation to kick off my stay.

Jawed, the same IT manager who I first met in 2002 is still here and comes to my rescue when I find out I cannot connect to the server. Saturday is his day off but he shows up anyways in the evening to help me out. I am too tired to watch what he does but I am connected again when he leaves, a few minutes later. I give him a big bar of chocolate. It traveled thousands of miles exactly for this kind of service.


March 2008
M T W T F S S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  

Categories

Blog Stats

  • 136,983 hits

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 76 other subscribers