Archive for July, 2008



Rush-rush-wait

Given how many things could have gone wrong, it is a miracle that in the end nothing did. But my departure was one long suspense-filled affair. It consisted of a concatenation of just-in-times, starting sometime last week. First there was the late travel approval from Washington, then the last minute visa and passport return, the nearly too late departure from home for the airport, the long lines I was able to circumvent because I am a (very) frequent traveler. Soon this became a pattern of rush-rush-wait like a two-step dance. Once in the New-York bound plane we were put on hold in a far off corner of the airfield waiting for the thunderstorms to pass. Then there was a problem at Gate 1 at the Delta terminal at JFK which kept us sitting within view but out of reach of the jetway for another 45 minutes. And then it was back to rush-rush again, having only 15 minutes left to make my connection to Accra. Then another wait of one-and-half hour before take-off. As if the universe conspired to test and then reward me I was given an unexpected upgrade to the fourth row in business class fort the 11-hour plane ride to Accra.

There is a saying that ‘In the end, everything works out. If it hasn’t worked out yet, that’s because you haven’t gotten to the end. It comes from Brazil; must have been someone who had an experience like me today.

Fitting with the general theme of just-in-time I drove Axel to an appointment in Gloucester that was inserted in the half hour before the scheduled noontime departure from Manchester to leave for the airport. I kept myself busy for the half hour he was occupied, fueling myself with iced coffee and the car with gasoline. I ordered a flower arrangement for Magid’s daughter who returned from the hospital yesterday without her bothersome appendix. The saleslady shook her head when she heard I was on my way to the airport. “You rush to wait,” she added with a tone that indicated she had given up on flying some time ago. Rush-rush-wait, rush-rush-wait indeed.

After all this I arrived in Accra close to the expected arrival time (9 AM) and so did my suitcase, miraculously. I found, as planned,, a driver waiting for me; the same Charles who had chauffeured Cabul and me around 6 months ago. We immediately set out for Cape Coast, several traffic jams and a few hours away. I arrived just in time to hear the last 3 of the 7 team presentations, which was about the right number before lunch.

Today is Tessa’ 23rd birthday. I have been celebrating it all along from a distance, capped tonight with a cold beer, the best drink in this very hot and humid climate. I am glad I made it here but I was sorry to have missed the celebration. My spirit was in Lobster Cove, from the early morning birthday girl chair decoration all the way to the perfectly grilled chicken for dinner. These are rituals that go with the day. Happy birthday Tess!

Family meeting

The day before departure is always a funky day. There is the desire to whittle down my to-do list so that I can leave with a near empty slate, knowing it will be full again when I get back. And then there is always that ambivalence: the part of me that wants to travel pushing and pulling the part that wants to stay home. And finally, in this particular case, there is the possibility that my passport will not arrive in time. I try to keep a zen stance about it all. Whatever happens is what is meant to happen and any outcome is good if I am willing to change my position. Because of the mess up with my visa application I ended up with the gift of today which was a really good thing, even though it gets me to arrive in Ghana a little later than I would have liked to.

It was a long and hot day with a thunderstorm brewing that never arrived. We are lucky to have the biggest self cleaning swimming pool in the world in our backyard. I went out for a long swim at the end of the day when my clothes were sticking to my skin. The swim, a reward in itself , was rewarded with a gin tonic consumed in my swing hammock while Axel and Sita prepared dinner. The suitcase is nearly packed and except for a few things (that passport among others) I am ready to go.

After dinner we had our long postponed family meeting, ordered by various therapists. The intent was to get everyone to understand that Axel’s brain needs to heal and he needs all the attention he can give to the exercises and therapies that are focusing on this one task. As part of his homework Axel and Joe had worked on getting all his worries and to-do lists that he carries in his head on yellow stickies and arranged according to high or low urgency and high or low importance. Sita and Tessa took over the sorting to keep Axel from putting everything into the high importance and high urgency quadrant.

We wanted to shift away from parents giving their kids chores to do and move back to the shared responsibility that was so present 11 months ago but had slipped away. Now that Sita and Jim are moving out, and Tessa and Steve moving in, the household help that is to relieve Axel will have to come from those currently not gainfully employed and eventually shared by the three of us until Axel
can manage to deal with more than 5 tasks at a time again. The doctors say this capacity will return but for now this executive function of his is not fully recovered. Regaining Axel’s full health and full capacity deserves our full attention as a family and so everyone, including Jim and Steve rallied around him. The meeting was recorded and scribed, of course, mostly because Sita cannot help herself


Categories

Blog Stats

  • 136,984 hits

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 76 other subscribers