Sylvia's Journal

We now know that the new fireplace will not be installed before Christmas and so we suddenly have plenty of space for a Christmas tree in the empty living room while we trip over boxes and stuff in the other parts of the house. Tessa is happy, and so is Axel; not about the delayed construction project but about the tree. We will now also have room for all the Christmas tchotckies which we can simply put on the floor, since there is no other furniture in the room.

I tried to do the work of Monday and anticipate the work of the week, as I usually do. It was as if I was wading through molasses. I let my inbox fill up and now there are so many things that need attention that I get overwhelmed. I don’t like the feeling, even if other people say they feel the same way and that it has something to do with Christmas. Maybe. Or maybe it is simply that 2008 stuff has to be completed in 2008 and new stuff for 2009 is already seeking my attention.

I had a dream about a large bus that was already amphibious as it came put-putting to the shore and then took off like a plane to make a loop overhead and continue its journey in the air in the opposite direction. It did not make it and with a big ‘ploof’ fell back in the water and landed on its side. The few people inside scrambled out with big grins on their faces as if it was one big joke. I watched it, not in horror, but it did drain more energy out of me.

Axel’s experience for his last two classes this semester may be similar. He has been glued to his computer screen for whole days on end since he returned from his last week’s Thursday class. It feels as if we are lumbering busses that should simply be riding the streets and not try anything silly like making loop-the-loops.

We tried to be disciplined and have at least some minimum of physical exercise during the day – something that has completely fallen by the wayside despite our good intentions. And so, at noon yesterday, we took the puppy for a walk. When we do that we can’t simply walk with her because we have to train her to heel which can make the walk a little tedious. It took about half the walk before she did what she was supposed to and avoided the choker with the spikes that cut into her throat. I can’t stand the contraption but we have to go by the rules of her mom and dad.

Everyone in the house is now reading the dog whisperer (Cesar Millan – Cesar’s way) a Christmas present from last year that is being rediscovered. Cesar has taught us that we are not ‘on top’ and so the puppy is leading us rather than the other way around. It is not the dog that needs to be trained but us. We learned that we did a lot of things wrong. The new discipline is good preparation for parenthood – a little too late for us but in time for Tessa and Steve – since the same principles apply to little children: when you pay attention to a whining dog or kid, it will whine some more.

We had Ken and Margaret over for dinner. They came with a delicious Thai take-out dinner that has become somewhat of a ritual. They had escaped from their silent retreat and cell-like accommodation in East Gloucester at an ocean-side Jesuits retreat center with million dollar views. Margaret does this frequently which is probably why she can write these wonderful books about spirituality and leadership. Her last book, The Soul of a Leader has the story of our leadership program in Egypt in it. Margaret and Ken are also Quakers and taught me about the Clearness process many years ago, at Wellesley Meeting House. That is how we got to know them, and their dog Rufus who passed away not so long ago. We still had his purple leash hanging on our hallway radiator. They took it home, as a souvenir. It still smelled like Rufus.