Sylvia's Journal

Yesterday was a little stressful at work so the yoga class at the end of the day was exactly what the doctor prescribed. The stress came from getting back into a working relationship that hasn’t worked for some time, like a leg coming out of a cast, a little stiff; the Dutch word is ‘stroef,’ something that doesn’t move like it is supposed to; friction and resistance limiting forward movement – a crying out for some grease.

The word ‘Now’ pops up as it did at Quaker Meeting last Sunday, when there were some messages about ‘now’ – being able to say ‘today is a good day’ – and I remembered that I had forgotten all about this, letting stress slip in and take over; my mind never focused on ‘here and now,’ but rather on what’s around the corner (like: Christmas) or far away in the past (like: how it used to be).

The yoga mellowed me although the left brain chatter was hard to stop at first, during our opening stretch which has a complicated Indian name and required a long belt and a bolster. After one hour the chatter had subsided and I was in the flow, not noticing how fast the time went and feeling taller, longer and thinner by the minute.

It was just Peggy and me again, a threesome with teacher Michelle, practically a private class. Peggy and I are in roughly the same league when it comes to size and flexibility, so we can relax in our limitations; besides, the teacher constantly remarks how great we do and how great we look. Even if these 90 minutes did nothing for our bodies, they are great for the soul.

I don’t push myself the way I used to before the accident. Some poses are just not possible without considerable adaptation. I used to be able to balance on one foot for a long time. That’s a thing of the past, at least on the right side and I have come to terms with the fact that this is the way my body is now. There was always a certain pride in doing well in some of the yoga exercises – but pride (of that kind) turns out easy to shed. It was the kind of pride that created separation, rather than connection.

Trips are stacking up like planes on the runway; their contours increasingly clear through the fog of next year. Which ones will really happen/take off remains to be seen. There are too many ways that things can change. I am now waiting for clearance for the first two: Cambodia and Bangladesh.

My requests for extra passport pages, a second batch, as well as a second passport are in the mail which should increase the flexibility on my part to take off when the signal is given.