Back in the US I have a vivid dream life again. They are full of plane and hospital themes. In one dream I am in a Baptist church hall, full of tables with strangers around them. Axel is with me. My (ex)sister in law Judith who was buried a week ago sat at another table. We explain that we are here to say thanks and celebrate our survival after the plane crash. People gape at us as if we are aliens, their mouths open, some smile. Judith was in the crash too and had survived. Of course in real life this did not happen: she was not in the crash and she did not survive.
In another dream I am landing in a plane piloted by a former colleague who I don’t entirely trust – it was a hard landing after a moment of suspense. In the same or another dream I am in a hospital with my colleague Kathleen; our two beds get moved in unison from one room to another until one day I can walk and we are separated since I don’t have (need?) a bed anymore. I limp to the washrooms which took much effort and time. When I get there I realize I have forgotten my towel. I do not want to go all the way back but also do not dare to ask the stern looking nurse for another towel, knowing I will be lectured. I am not sure how I solved the dilemma; I suppose by waking up since I cannot remember the next scenes.
It was a dreary rainy spring day yesterday – good for flowers and crops but not for human beings. I decided not to bike to Friends Meetings but instead had Axel chauffeur me. One of the messages was about John Woolman’s ‘right motion.’ What he means by these words is action that is motivated by love for the other rather than self-interest. ‘It is not about the result but about the intentions behind the action,’ spoke Nancy, ‘we can never guarantee the result.’
And then it dawned on me that with all the results language that development projects and organizations have adopted we are missing something very essential and that is whether the motions (actions) that people undertake to get the results are ‘right’ (out of love for the other) or ‘wrong’ (out of love for self). In our leadership work we look for Leader Shifts, there are five of them and the last one is ‘from self absorption’ to ‘generosity and concern for the common good.’ My colleagues want me to change the wording, they don’t like self-absorption but so far I have not found a better word. And now it seems John Woolman has deepened my understanding of what this shift is all about. It is indeed a transformation, one that he documents with great eloquence in his journals.
Back home I hunted for my copy of his journal but could not find it. Instead I found it on the internet, downloaded it to computer, and then sent it as an attachment to the Kindle Department at Amazon. Within a minute it was wirelessly downloaded onto my Kindle all this for a total cost of 10 cents. Imagine that! Woolman would have thought this an act of divine intervention; even tech-savvy Axel was impressed.
I had felt called during Meeting to ‘acts of creativity’ (any kind) but ended up mending clothes and cooking. I suppose the latter was an act of creativity. Moreover, because it consisted of the preparation of two lasagnas for the Baptist Church dinner today for some of Beverly’s down and out, it was ‘right motion’ that also produced a good result. I will know this for sure tomorrow when I serve the lasagnes and see them wolved down.
Sylvia's Journal 
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