Sylvia's Journal

I had my first formal interview for the position in Afghanistan. Talking about the work, the responsibilities, the challenges made me even more eager to get the job. I have to be careful not to get too invested in the idea because there are others who want the job. I figured that my strongest competitor would be an Afghan-American woman with tons of executive experience if the decision is made that an outsider rather than an insider to MSH is preferred. It’s funny how, when you are at a fork in the road, so many people seem to know what lies ahead around the corner.

My French-speaking colleagues and those who want to perfect their French have initiated a one-a-month French-lunch-about-a-topic at work. Yesterday’s lunch was facilitated by Ashley, a spirited young woman whose enthusiasm overcomes any hang-ups one might have about not speaking French perfectly. She had picked the topic of HIV/AIDS and prepared a glossary of terms in English and French. I was very impressed.

She asked us all to talk about what we had recently learned about HIV and AIDS. We went around the table. Our group included four young American women, one from the Middle East and two African males, one a doctor from Cameroon and the other an IT expert from Senegal.

The one doctor in the room was by far the most knowledgeable, as he should be, and I discovered he is also a great teacher. We talked about facts and perceptions, male behavior and got an illustrated lecture about the female condom. I could show what it looked like (no one had one in their pockets) with the pictures I had taken at GHC earlier this week and placed on facebook. As we checked out my facebook page we could also see who of our colleagues were on facebook while at their desks.

While I had my hair cut at the end of the day, I listened to what happens to a woman who is financially and administratively illiterate and trusting a husband who should not have been trusted. I suspect this story is played out in shocking numbers around the world. She is discovering that she signed for 2nd and 3rd mortgages on a house she thought she owned and is hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt while at the same time replaced by another who has taken her place in the heavily mortgaged home and conjugal bed.

Her image of an ordinary marriage, couple with teenage son, has shattered like a mirror into a thousand pieces. I can practically see the reverberations of this monumental source of distress across the network of relationships each of them are in.

I remember telling her at least 10 years ago when the kid was young and the husband (maybe) not yet cheating that she should teach herself about the routine financial and administrative transactions that happened in her household so that, if she found herself alone, her grief would not be exacerbated by this not knowing. I also remember her response, which was one of surprise and indignation – the situation was simply unimaginable to her. We both remember the many silly (and often expensive) purchases she made over the years.

I think there is a good case to be made about educating young girls and boys to be financially literate before they leave school. It would prevent countless women from sliding into poverty, as she is now doing. The wakeup call was the first visit to a food pantry. She’s still in shock and there is no visible exit out of this nightmare.