Sylvia's Journal

I spent most of the day sitting in a conference room watching about 30 people plan their department’s services. The entire event was in Dari. A female colleague was teaching/facilitating and I got to see how she did this and what happened. It was all very revealing despite the language handicap. I was looking for patterns of behaviors, how people deal with stress and conflict and picking up a few Dari words in the process. This is a good time to observe because soon I will be so used to how people work together that I won’t notice things anymore.

I played no formal role but when I noticed something changed in the dynamics of the group I investigated what was going on. I also delivered some messages about disruptive behaviors when the female workshop leader was uncomfortable doing so. People here get away figuratively (and I suppose literally as well) with murder because there is great fear to confront, especially if the culprit is male of higher social status. Sometimes when I confront people they get prickly, sometimes they open up and spill out why they acted the way they did. You can make ennemies and friends this way, I did the latter (and possible the former).

While observing from the periphery of my vision the workshop dynamics and process I turned 65 pages of reporting data into a deeply layered mind map in order to help me see more clearly the broad and complex landscape of this project. With the new ‘surge’ proposed for the insecure provinces this is going to be even more complex.

I am sticking my toes in the water to better understand why people do things that they claim they don’t want to be doing and the many constraints that, real or imagined, are used to justify non productive or self-defeating behavior. Chris Argyris would have a field day here. I am climbing one ladder of inference down after another. Some people squirm when I do this, others are delightfully frank. Culture is invoked a lot and the effects of stress are painfully visibly, yet few see it or care to admit (most of these people are men).

My new-found friend invited me to dinner. I was accompanied by Axel and Steve. He is a fairly young doctor, delightfully frank and straightforward. It is rare to hear an Afghan tell us foreigners that the workshop we organized was a waste of time, his and others. I have definitely entered a workshop culture: when in doubt, hire a consultant and do a workshop. I can’t remember hearing many of our clients protest this approach so straight into our faces. He was absolutely right and I hope I can reduce the number of workshops a bit.

The Lebanese restaurant, across town, was heavily guarded by young men in combat outfit with a variety of guns. I can recognize the AK-47s now but there were some others that seemed even more dangerous. We were whisked through a covered ‘sluice’ much like in some banks where the entrance and exit doors are not allowed to be opened at the same time. For a brief moment you are in a holding pattern. Then we entered into a brightly lit (except when the power went out) restaurant with people socializing, drinking beer and wine, as if this was downtown Boston.

At the end of the room a bunch of US military guys, buzz cuts and with undulating muscles sticking through their tight drab jerseys, were relaxing drinking whiskey and beer. Since they were drinking I assumed they were off duty. But it was fun to imagine them ‘guarding’ some US powerbroker in a backroom of the restaurant, making deals or twisting someone’s arm.

After being served a complimentary chocolate cake we drove back at breakneck speed across a deserted town, populated by men with guns (presumably good ones) and delivered back at our guesthouse zero. It was a wonderful day and I can’t wait to settle in more permanently. This may surprise some people.