Sylvia's Journal

Nazima sold socks on the streets of Iran which her mother bought for pennies less in the bazaar, while her father was hunkering down at home, fearing arrest because his papers were not in order. Nazima’s story is one of thousands but I got to hear her tell me directly with a big grin, the memories she had from that time, such as the gentleman who already wore 6 socks, one over the other, each with a hole in the big toe.

One of the references on Nazima’s CV is her former fiancé. Since she is only 20 I wondered what had happened and, with my western lenses on I thought ‘how sad, he ditched her.’ But after some probing it turned out that she ditched him when, five month after the engagement, she had enough of his checking on her and telling her what she could and could not do and what she could and could not wear. The final drop in the bucket was that after marriage she would not be allowed to see her mother anymore. That did it and now she is no longer engaged and free as a bird (with mom’s encouragement, dad’s no longer of this world).

Talking about a narrow escape! She told me that there is a saying in Persian (and Dari) that if you cross over the rainbow you will turn from boy into girl or girl into boy. I suppose it is used as a threat to boys and a dream to girls in this part of the world. Nazima had figured out early in life that being a girl was not a good thing and one day she set out to chase after the rainbow. She was gone for a good part of the day but never caught up with the elusive rainbow and finally gave up. When she came home her mother asked her where she had been. She told her. I would have like to know her mother’s thoughts.

I asked her whether she would still want to cross that rainbow. If you live in Afghanistan being a girl is still not a good thing, but she has decided to educate herself and get a good job, earn a good salary and marry a handsome man. That way being a girl is not bad.

Nazima is an acquaintance of a friend who had asked me for help in finding her a new job as the old one is running out. I promised to meet her and check out her English (excellent) and help her with her CV. Once again I encountered a part of Afghan society that will transform it, with or without permission of the old powers, the white-beards (riis-safed) some of whom would like to keep things as they are and women in their place. But as far as I can tell the cat is out of the bag and unlikely to ever return.