Sylvia's Journal

Part of our usual road to the ministry appears to be blocked these days. We are using another road, narrower than the usual one. The larger than normal traffic load for this road created an interesting phenomenon that I watched with wonderment from the car I was riding in.

The traffic flow obeyed its own mysterious laws of movement. At first a few cars started to bypass, on the left side, the cars stuck in front of them; then more followed. For awhile it was mayhem as cars drove by us, in both directions, on our left and our right. And then, as suddenly as it had started, all the traffic had changed lanes permanently and we drove on as if we were in a country that follows left traffic rules. Everyone had moved to the left and traffic flowed, slowly, but there was progress again.

There had been no cop, no traffic lights, white lines on the road or traffic signals. And when the road joined another major thoroughfare the traffic mixed together and became right traffic again.

I wondered about the systems dynamics at work. The first few cars led the way. One could call them leaders even though what they did was not really legal, but this is Afghanistan and people look for openings wherever they are (like a little bit too much space between oncoming cars). As others see they that these leaders are successful and move faster, more follow in the new path that has now become legitimate for reasons of volume. This is accidental leadership, not the kind we are teaching, but clearly very effective in attracting followers; those who are not leaders like to follow those who succeed and make progress. It is that simple. Wow, I thought, how can I make this happen for things that are legitimate?

Steve and I said our goodbyes. I was a little teary-eyed. I will miss him terribly. We complement each other nicely, in ways that couples do. He is irreplaceable but I will do my best to channel him, or, what’s better, call him back when we need his deep expertise, something that is rare and precious.

For the first time in my 9 months stay here I attended a meeting that is held weekly and brings together representatives from the ministry, from the NGOs, donor and UN agencies to share findings, vet processes, consult each other about things that affect health services to the Afghan population. Steve went faithfully to these meetings and now I realize that I missed an opportunity to learn from him by accompanying him. Why I never went I don’t know, I guess I hadn’t understood hints that were made to me, or maybe people thought it wasn’t necessary for both technical directors to attend. It is the first regret now that Steve has left.

While waiting for a meeting to start I sat outside a meeting room and noticed a tiny mouse, no bigger than one inch, limping from a filing cabinet to a small crack between the floor and the wall. With all the cooking going on in countless small places, in between offices, or even in offices themselves, in bathrooms, where hired women cook meals for government employees in pressure cookers on small camping stoves, it is a wonder I don’t see huge rats wander around the halls, living off the leftover bread pieces and grains of rice.

My animal medicine book tells me that the mouse stands for ‘specialization of knowledge,’ for scrutiny and filing things away in your mind for a closer look later. Among the many messages that mouse carries is this one: see what is right before your eyes and then take action accordingly. This was particularly good advice for a meeting I had right after seeing the darling little mouse (I hate rodents, rats, mice, hamsters, guinea pigs, squirrels, but this one was too cute as well as terrified). I can’t write anything about the meeting because it was a confidential investigation, but the mouse medicine was exactly what the doctor prescribed.

PS. My first day as ‘in charge’ went without any glitches, at least none that I know of right now.