I received three MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) from Doug as an early birthday present. He bought them in the Bush bazaar for next to nothing. A cheap present he admitted, but heartfelt.
One was the snack pack that I already sampled some time ago. Instead of banana chips it has pineapple chips. A second pack was the ordinary MRE, Menu 21 (Tuna). On the package it states that it is Warfighter Recommended, Warfighter Tested and Warfighter Approved ™ and also that it is government property and that commercial resale is unlawful. I wonder whether even having this package in my house makes me liable to prosecution?
Axel joined me at the office in the middle of the morning so we could go to the Indian embassy to apply for a visa. I have never been checked for explosives as thoroughly as at this embassy, which makes sense since they have been blown up twice in the 14 months I have been here.
After standing or sitting in line (the men longer than the women) we handed in our visa application which was carefully checked as if it was an exam. Everything was returned to us and only the fax form retained. This form will be faxed to India for approval. We were told to come back on Sunday. We will have to go through the whole checking and waiting-in-line routine again to hand in our (corrected) applications, our passport and the fee. After that, we are told, it is a matter of stamping the passport and in the afternoon the passport can be picked up, requiring a third visit.
While we waited for the Indian gentleman to check our papers we watched the screensaver in back of him which showed a picture of a luxury houseboat in Kerala. We had been told about these. ‘Very fancy hotel where you can just relax,’ said the visa official. I could hear the longing in his voice. Working at the Indian embassy is not relaxing with the ISI and its Haqqani network moving quietly about town.
When we got back to the office we opened the third MRE, called First Strike Ration, Menu #1. It is supposed to provide enough nutrition to get a fighter through an entire day of strikes and attacks.
So here is what’s in it: Filled French Toast, Pepperoni Sandwich, Wheat Snack Bread, First Strike Energy Bar, Mocha, Dessert Bar, Peanut Butter, Beef Snack, Barbecue, Nut Fruit mix, Caffeinated Gum, Hand Cleaner (2), Spoon, Bacon Cheddar Sandwich, Jalapeno Cheese Spread, Beverage (2) – orange and lime flavored Tang, First Strike Energy Bar, Chocolate, Beef Snack, Teriyaki, Zapplesauce (zany applesauce perhaps?), Accessory Packet C (spicy apple cider mix, sugar, coffee, dairy creamer), a tiny jar of Tabasco (for what? – the spicy apple cider perhaps?) and a re-closable plastic bag (for leftovers? Garbage?).
Total cost (to Douglas, after bargaining): 80 cents. Imagine that, for a whole day! One can live very cheaply here. A month of danger pay can keep you eating MREs for a year!
We ate the two sandwiches while we studied the ingredient lists, each about 1 inch deep and 4 inches long in small print, with hardly anything I would actually consider food, an endless list of chemical, food colors, and preservatives. How fighters can live on those is a mystery to me but if you were brought up on junk food it would be just like home.
The sandwiches filled us but left much to be desired for taste. We had Tang with the lunch and ate some of the power bars. I suppose if you are busy fighting they are handy, bags and bags of junk food, for every meal, with names that create the illusion of real food.
To make up for the missed real-food-lunch we had a real-food-dinner: a hearty vegetable soup and a garden salad with local olive oil and date-balsamic vinegar that we brought back from the Bateel shop in Dubai, finishing our meal with real apple pie for dessert. I think we will keep the rations for emergencies.
Next morning: The chemicals entered my bloodstream during the night: all sorts of dreams with MREs featuring prominently.
Sylvia's Journal 
0 Responses to “Varieties of culinary experience”