Sylvia's Journal

‘Afghan men blamed for gender prejudice,’ is one of the headlines in our local newspaper. It appears right below ‘Poppy cultivation un-Islamic, say scholars.’ I am glad these things are out in the open. At least we are clear on that now.

There were some very good tidings in the newspaper as well: our Dutch compatriot Peter, kidnapped in October in Kunduz is free and can rejoin his wife and kids in Holland. His picture and that of his driver illustrated the observation that they appeared to be in ‘depressed mental state.’ Who wouldn’t after such an ordeal.

I had an interesting day at work. In the morning some of us met to review the activities in our work plan that are not moving along as planned. It was a small group that came together (too many competing schedules) but the conversation was interesting as we discussed why some things are just not happening. Many of those are in my portfolio with which I have struggled for some time now – how to get senior leaders to accept and make time for improving their leadership skills.

The contradiction is that every document that analyzes what’s wrong here (and there are many because most advisors and technical assistants follow the ‘deficit school’ of institutional development) cites weak leadership skills, but when we propose actions to remedy this other things always take precedence – especially those activities that have immediate, and visible or tangible outcomes.

The irony of my job here is that it would be much easier to do if the leadership and management skills were well developed, which of course would make my presence here redundant.

In the afternoon I sat between my two young female mentees, the ones who will play a facilitator role in an upcoming leadership development program for the midwives, a program that starts next week. They are thrown in the deep but I know they will swim because they are smart and they can. Today they were participatory observers in a similar program, second stage, for some of our own teams, a team from the medical university and one from the ministry.

I can understand a great deal more now of the conversations that are held in Dari, but not yet the jokes. One joke concerned women – there are four in the room – should they have protested? My young mentees are very aware of the roles society has given them: eyes down, be quiet. I am encouraging them to lift their eyes up and not be quiet but it is a hard sell. I offer to speak out for them when they can but reminded them that I am here only for awhile.

I often notice how powerlessness produces a kind of criticism that is counterproductive, not only because it is always (and understandably) voiced when the strong and dominant are out of earshot but also because it focuses energy away from the self and onto the other, which is rather wasteful from an energy conservation point of view.