Sylvia's Journal

Things are a bit muddled in my head, as if the ideas I have cannot find the right words to convey to others who operate from a different metaphor. I suddenly have a strong urge to go back to school and work within the confines of academic rigor and discipline and express myself in a better way.

We spent the entire day in one of our smaller conference rooms. Small means warm, there is no central heating; but small also means stuffy as we were packed tightly around the conference table on our bulky chairs. We scrutinized every program manager’s plan for this year and explored what we can finish when we are beginning to wind down, in June, and what needs more time and what, if we get another year, we should add or continue.

The conversations were spirited at times, aggressive at others, skeptical or muddled as when we were using the same words but talking about different things. It is then that I felt the disconnect between what I was told to focus on, what I was able to do (and more importantly not do) and how others see those tasks.

Sometimes I felt like I was operating from one bubble trying to communicate with others in their own bubbles. There are those who insist on everything being measurable and precise which leads to deleting all that cannot be made precise. It is the age old dilemma for social scientists struggling to make their science resemble the physical sciences. How do you measure capacity building in management and leadership or process awareness? And if it can’t be precise, how can you know whether you have achieved or not.

Two of Don Schon’s quotes came to mind as I am trying to sort through my muddled thoughts about today:

“It’s as though the teacher said something like this: “I can tell you that there’s something you need to know and I can tell you that with my help you can probably learn it. But I cannot tell you what it is in a way that you can now understand. You must be willing therefore, to undergo certain experiences as I direct you to undergo them, so that you can learn what it is you need to know and what I mean by the words I use. Then and only then can you make an informed choice about whether you wish to learn this new competence. If you are unwilling to step into this new experience without knowing ahead of time what it will be like, then I cannot help you. You must trust me.” (Address at Queen’s University in Australia)

“In the varied topography of professional practice, there is a high, hard ground overlooking a swamp. On the high ground, manageable problems lend themselves to solutions through the application of research-based theory and technique. In the swampy lowland, messy, confusing problems defy technical solution. The irony of this situation is that the problems of the high ground tend to be relatively unimportant to individuals or society at large, however great their technical interest may be, while in the swamp lie the problems of greatest human concern. The practitioner must choose. Shall he remain on the high ground where we can solve relatively unimportant problems according to prevailing standards of rigor, or shall he descend to the swamp of important problems and non rigorous inquiry?” (The Reflective Practitioner)

I ask these questions about measurability myself to students in our leadership program yet I find Schon’s words comforting but I don’t have his authority to use them in the way he does.

The measurability focus is both good and bad: good when it forces people to articulate their ‘theories of change,’ and bad when it leads to dropping anything that is too complicated to measure.

My mantra today was, ‘that’s why I am here, that’s why I am here.’ But seeping underneath came that same old question again, ‘can I bring about some of the changes I set out to make?’