I sometimes wonder about our guards who have these long hours sitting in their small, hot and primitive guardhouse in back of our house. They have none of the comforts we have come to expect: airco, electric heat, refrigerator, stove with oven, cupboards, two bathrooms, a bath, carpets (now tiles), windows that let breezes flow through the house. They do have a bed off the ground now after their tushaks got repeatedly wet from water in the walls and in the concrete slab that is the floor of their tiny living room. They also have a small TV which is on most of the night when programs are available.
At the end of Friday night’s party where Meghann showcased her very expert use of hoola-hoops (at one point two at the same time, of different sizes) under the watchful and amazed eyes of our guards. They have been intrigued by this toy. This afternoon I noticed they were trying it on for size. Our housekeeper Ali has mastered the skill but the two night guards can’t keep the hoola hoop off the ground for more than a few seconds at a time. It is a source of great hilarity between them.
We convinced the drivers who dropped Axel off to give the thing a spin but none were able to. The men wouldn’t let Axel off the hook either and he is just as bad. They all stood around taking turns doing something that here is not very manly, and had a good laugh in the process. I think we will find improvements over time as they now have something fun to do other than guard us when we are not there. And besides, Afghans (men and women) appear to be highly competitive.
Today I was walking across our office compound and heard women laughing. It is then that I realized that, at least at work, I rarely hear women’s laughter – there are not enough of us and there isn’t all that much to be gay about. Back at MSH headquarters in Boston women’s laughter was (and hopefully still is) so much part of the work environment – it is sad that here it is so absent.
I spent all day in the office doing management and administrative chores that have, once again, nothing to do with why I came out here. It is tedious and not very satisfying as it contributes little if anything to improving the health of women and children. It does satisfy the people who want compliance with this and that contractual or organizational requirement: workplans, performance reviews, more workplans, more performance reviews.
We invite colleagues, peers and clients of the person being evaluated to send us their comments. Only very few people sent these in before the requested date and only when the performance review is that of a star it seems. The non-stars get very few and some prefer not even to bother. Someone explained why “we don’t want anything on paper, in an email, formal, that may come back to haunt us.” Of course, I thought, it is safer to either provide a Yes or Very often to all questions or not send anything in at all; so much for our very rudimentary and incomplete 360 reviews. May be I am taking these things much too serious – it must be my tendency to think about development rather than judgment.
Sylvia's Journal 
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