Sylvia's Journal

A radio announcement for motorized shades that you can control from your mobile device – who’d think we’d need such a device? Of course we need it, while we are away from home we can open and close our shades. Everything instantly, when we want it, where we want it. We live in a world of privilege and speed, both sold to us as entitlements and ease.

It was exactly the same thought I had yesterday evening at the house of friends. I sat by the fire, with a glass of not so cheap wine in my hand and was able to ‘be here now.’ Such privilege, I mantra-ed, look at me, warm, full belly and dry, and then on top of that so much more. I was bursting with gratitude.

But such moments are rare. I don’t often think about privilege or being entirely contented. As I drive to work in the morning I pass countless billboards that encourage me to not be content, to want more, buy more, and occasionally give more.

The barrage of messages must be contributing to my restlessness. I did an experiment and tried not to read these messages but I failed. Things to be read are in my face all day long: on my computer screen, on the billboards, on the front page of the newspaper I pick up when I leave the house and arrive at work, in the books, articles and journals that are strewn across my life.

The pace of life is ratcheting up, for me and most everyone around me. It seems to be unstoppable, up and up and no obvious way to bring it down. And as we adjust our lives we make more space for upping the pace, faster, quicker, and supposedly easier, like closing our living room shades from our car when the sun may damage our upholstered furniture. We are seduced by ease but what we get is ever more unease and disease. We have been talking a lot about sleeplessness lately, that’s what we get. Not able to come down.

I am wondering how to stay centered and mindful; my daily 15 minutes of meditation, are they enough? If I go to 20 or even 30 minutes I will have to get up even earlier than 4:30 AM which means I have to go to bed even earlier than 8:30 PM. I will end up going to bed when my grandson goes to bed, ha!

I am investigating an organizational mess and what I find stands in front of me like a mirror: stressed out people react rather than respond and the more stressed they are the more stress they provoke in others.

I am learning more about myself in this process than about others and mindfulness comes out as a huge challenge, mindfulness, center, and now.
I think I am going to plant some potatoes, mindfully, centered and now.