Sylvia's Journal

The pink cast was sawed off by what looked like a stick blender with a small circular saw. I couldn’t see any safety device that would keep it from going through the cast, the cotton layers underneath and then in my leg.

The young assistant who did the sawing giggled at my nervousness, assuring me that it was safe. But I was not convinced, especially when I could feel the pressure of the metal on the cotton, pushing into my leg. Her supervisor, I assume, came to check in on her and took over the job, maybe she was too careful. The supervisor pushed harder on the saw and I could feel more pressure on the cotton. I forgot to breathe, Axel discovered from across the room, documenting the whole process on his iPhone.

And then out came the shriveled leg with its skin looking like old parchment. The purple markings of where to cut where still as clear as they were on surgery day. The place that had felt like it was jabbed by an icepick for the last 6 weeks was unblemished – the jabbing had been done from the inside by nerves frantic looking for new pathways. The loss of sensation on the left side of my foot has diminished only slightly. We were told it was to be expected and would continue to diminish over time. I know the self-healing power of nerves from watching Axel’s limp left arm and hand come to life slowly over a year after the accident.

I have now entered phase 3 of the ankle fusion process: six more weeks in an orthopedic boot with increasing levels of weight bearing: 25% the next 7 days; 50% the week after and then gradually to full weight bearing.

This means the crutches and knee scooter are still important aids apart from the boot – no standing or walking without a boot until mid-February. It also means that I will have to travel with crutches to Afghanistan, 8 days from now. It was not quite what I had planned but it is too late to turn back, unless the business class upgrade that I requested is disapproved by our benefits manager. In that case I will stay home and continue the healing here.