Sylvia's Journal

I removed the tables in the workshop and put people in a semi-circle with the tables at their back. In the evaluation at the end of the next day they said they didn’t like it. People are timid and like to sit behind a table, according to my Malagasy colleagues. But I don’t think it was only the set up. I also blame the terrible chairs, as uncomfortable as can be, and the horrendous acoustics of this weird French building dating back to 1967. I kept wondering what the architect was thinking and how the building committee could have approved the design.

As predicted, AF canceled my flight and left me wondering Wednesday night how I was going to get home in time for Kara and Matt’s wedding where Axel is officiating, reverend Axel, imagine that! But at 4 AM I woke up to find my new itinerary, via Kenya and Amsterdam.

And now I am sitting in the VIP lounge, drinking petits-cafes and preparing myself for the long trip home.

There is no improvement in my condition despite all the medicine. Neither the anti-inflammatory pills nor the antibiotics made any difference. It was as if I was not taking anything. Someone joked that if you have ‘la grippe’’ and you consult a doctor and take medicine it takes about 8 days to clear; if you don’t do anything it takes 7 days; but enough about all this. I am not suffering from a dangerous illness and I know I will wear the virus out at some point, before it wears me out.

This morning we sat around the table putting the finishing touches on a two day coaching workshop for my project colleagues. I am working with the project’s capacity building team. They are learning and facilitating, putting the rails in front of the moving train. It’s been a fun assignment for me because the people are very well seasoned adult educators and knowledgeable about things that are entirely new in most other places I work.  So this makes my life very easy.  All the emphasis is and should be in the design. If the design is solid, facilitation is easy; if it is a rickety affair, facilitation becomes very difficult. I have gotten in trouble a few times when questioning a rickety design in which I had a facilitation task that set me up to fail.

Having earned my own coaching credentials in a program that was spread out over 10 months and some 250 hours it is a challenge to design something practical in such a short time (2 days). It has to be a program that will increase people’s confidence in coaching enough to start practicing something resembling coaching after Wednesday. We tried to hone in on the most important elements of coaching: listening and asking good questions. They are also going to practice with silence. Tomorrow morning I will find out how much silence they can tolerate.

Exactly one week after I was miserable and sick in Tana, last Saturday, I was again miserable and sick in Tana this Saturday. I had been able to do my work all through the week, ins spite of constant coughing and blowing my nose. I thought I had recovered and looked forward to a productive weekend with some fun social diversions. The antibiotics appeared to have killed the bacteria but now I think it’s a virus that is responsible for my upper respiratory misery as the new course of antibiotics seems without effect.

I had to cancel two social engagements: lunch with a friend of our neighbor from across Lobster Cove and the other a late afternoon barbecue at the house of our chief of party. Ughhh, I am so annoyed. I go from wanting to scream and breaking something to curling up in a ball and pitying myself.

I went out for lunch, a 40 meter walk outside the hotel. I was exhausted from the outing. I went back and took a nap and then got myself another massage in a different place, and a pedicure. Walking back I was exhausted from all the activity. I ate the remainder of my lunch, limp cold fries and the other half of an Italian Panini. I was too tired to go to the restaurant and eat there. Besides, I have now tried everything on the menu and it gets a bit boring. There are also some German guests, stuck because of the Air France strike> Once they discovered I was from Holland, they insisted on speaking German with me. This is a problem since I haven’t spoken German in decades. I can’t remember much of the complex grammar that one needs in order to make sentences.

The Air France strike, which I thought I’d miss, has now been extended to include my return date. I sent out an urgent message to our travel agent and hope she can re-route me. I am dreading the return trip but since I seem to be particularly allergic to Air France, the re-routing may be a blessing in disguise.

I have a long list of to-do’s on my hotel desk and had hoped to make a good dent in it. The priority is preparing next week, so we can finalize another workshop on Monday and be ready to pull it off Tuesday and Wednesday. Although I did make some progress, with difficulty, and am not as far along as I had hoped.  It is 7:30 PM and I am going to bed now, hoping that tomorrow I can take on the world again.

As soon as I had finished my course of antibiotics (5 days) I started to fall back health wise (coughing, sinuses) and so I decided to pay a visit to the doctor, this time going to her office in a part of town that included many ups and downs through narrows roads, jammed with people and cars and thus many traffic jams.

The taxi that the hotel had arranged for me is the typical Tana taxi, a Renault 4L. It could have been the even simpler Deux Chevaux (2CV) which we used to call ‘duck (eend)’ in Holland.  My first car was  4L, my second car too I believe, then a 4L camionette a car that is so ugly that I came to love it unconditionally.  It took me from Holland, through Spain, Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, Sicilie, Italy and back to Holland during one very long summer vacation sometime in the early 70s.

The entrance to the hotel is on top of a traditional mud brick wall with a drive going up and down very steeply. With my fused ankle walking it is a challenge but for the taxi it was a good thing because, as I later found out, he couldn’t start his car with his key so he always needed an incline or help from some strong men to push him for a few meters.

Along the way I saw nearly all the cars I grew up with, at least my dad’s cars since he loved everything French (wine, cheese, bread, and cars). Some of these old Peugeots I remember are still around here, but also Simca’s which I don’t think exist anymore (absorbed by Renault) and my old Renault 5 (called Le Car in the US), in addition to the most ubiquitous 4Ls and 2CVs. A trip down memory lane if ever there was one, maybe the same trippy car experiences Americans have in Cuba.

The doctor concluded that the infection had moved, as I suspected, into the upper respiratory tract but not down in the lungs, my fear. And so I returned to the Pharmacie du Roi with another list of medications, bringing my total healthcare bill here in Tana to about 150 dollars. I am awaiting the victory of modern medicine over traditional medicine such as ginger or lemon syrups and of course the endless cups of hot water with lime and honey I keep in drinking.

I rewarded myself with a massage in a small HomeoParma establishment across the street. I was told I could trust the brand.  I did not want not wander into some sketchy massage place. My concern came from the fact that in the hotel a massage cost 6 times as much.

HomeoPharma is a very homegrown enterprise that, in 25 years has captured the market and apparently not only here. It is now a chain for homeopathic and natural products with a good reputation. I see their signs everywhere. The founder and chief executive tells his story on the website where I found out that he learned his trade from his ancestors and many gurus, including an astrologer and tradition herbalists. His products cover only 10% of the 15000 or so different plants that, I am sure, are still used in the country side.

We have completed the three days of work with 9 NGOs that our project is working with. It is part of a longer process that should arrive at 6 strong NGOs towards the end of the project. Although it may not seem so, it is a big undertaking because each NGO is a complex organism where cultural, intellectual, social-political-economic, financial and leadership personality dynamics come into play.  Just telling them ‘improve this or that!’’ may not make much of a difference.

We are addressing some of these complex challenges with technical assistance, training in a variety of subjects, coaching and competition for grants. I am observing the various groups and can already see which ones have the engagement that will make them more likely to come out of this process victorious, and those that will not. Right now I am only observing the leaders (executive directors and chairmen of the boards) and know little about the rest of the organization.

Yesterday afternoon they discussed resilience – looking at children, families, communities and organizations. Based on their observations they created a local theory of resilience that contains the following elements: spirituality, social milieu, personal characteristics and open-mindedness. When I look at those and compare the groups in the room, I can already see resilience.

We also talked a lot about vision and explored their own personal ones and created one out of clay for the support network they are in the process of creating. I got to read my favorite quote about vision which I have translated in French, that tells people to hitch themselves to something big and important and start because they will find that Providence will walk with them (a combination of Murray and von Goethe).

I can sleep in tomorrow although I probably wake up at 5:30 as I do every day, no matter where in the world I am. I have a quiet day – some design work and a work day that ends at 2 PM. I am not expected in the office until 9:30 AM. This means I can relax now and can go to bed before 9 PM.

I am getting better and am nearly again my old pre-flight  self. I am sending little whiffs of seawater mixed with copper up my nostrils three times a day. It is wonder medicine. I think I should bring it on all my trips in the future. The cough medicine and ear drops are not bad either – it’s a good package and I am tempted to ask the doctor to prescribe me another set for my travel kit.

We completed the first day of a three day event to help the NGOs we support here with questions of basic management, leadership and governance. I am working with a dynamite team and actually have little to do – they are carrying the bulk of the work and do it masterfully. The follow up of this event is in good hands with them.

I taught the team (I teach every team but some ignore this) about filling a program with several pockets of unprogrammed time, hidden to the eye of the participant. It allows us to be unfazed by people trickling in late and starting nearly an hour late, or lunch taking 50% more time that what we had anticipated, or people expecting the program to end half an hour earlier than we had planned. All this, one might think, means people are not getting their money’s worth (or the taxpayer his/her money’s worth) – but really what it means is that we don’t have to rush, we can be patient, we can go into side roads that seem pertinent and people don’t feel like we are stuffing them with information and theories that they cannot connect to their daily lives, while we are constantly looking at our wrists. Good time management is what they expect from us. We honor that commitment in seemingly magical ways – but really it’s no magic. We simply program only 75% of the officially available time.

We explored what leading and managing really look like in daily life, what good governance requires, having the knowledge that is in the room circulate freely, from the highest levels to the lowest levels, Some NGOs are more sophisticated than others. We have physicians, accountants, engineers, professional managers, administrators, educators and musicians in the room – for once not a lot of medical folks – this is rare in my work. The diversity of professional experiences adds richness to the conversations. I like it. There is also little hierarchy in the room as most are executive directors or Board chairs – I like this too – everyone seems to feel at ease speaking out, except one woman who lost her voice – so she whispers in my ear and I amplify her voice. I feel for her because I nearly got to that place if it wasn’t for the doctor and her medicine.