Sylvia's Journal

Having completed my world peace duties, we completed our journey into Pune with a south Indian thali lunch. Thali is served on a stainless steel platter with small cups that are filled by wandering servers. Each has several small pans which contain dal, a vegetable mix, a thin broth. Then there is raita and a potato based stew, the latter served directly onto the plate. All this is accompanied by several kinds of breads, like roti, paratha, puri, etc. Everything is spiced, some very hot, some not so. The servers continue to fill your plate until you say no, so it is easy to overeat. After the first course there is fried rice and then sweets to complete the meal. My friends see to it that I sample as many different foods as possible. 

In the evening we had the neighbors over, a retired couple (he navy, she a criminal justice lawyer) who have adopted my friends as their daughter and son in law. Daily, a small dish shows up from next door with something to eat. 

I was warned that the man has an intense dislike of the religion of India’s neighbors. I had intended not to disclose that all my overseas assignments had been in countries with a predominantly (if not all) Muslim population. But it was as if he knew because he started off our conversation straight away, saying he had read all the holy texts, and Hinduism was the bets religion to have.

Although he predicted that Islam would take over the world in about 50 years, he also dismissed the religion and its holy texts as no good (not good for women, not good for the world). I tried to convey a more nuanced view on Islam, having lived in countries with very different interpretations of Islam by ordinary people. But, having fought on India’s western front, he was unfazed. His wife came from Kashmir, so the dislike of religion, conflated with a particular national identity, was shares between husband and wife. Interestingly, this conflation seems to be happening in the US right now as well with Trumps latest executive order regarding jews and Israel.

He challenged me several times to see whether I could name the places in the holy Quran that said women were equal to men; he had given my friends the book with Arabic text and English translation, which was pulled out. I searched for the ‘W’ of women but of course any argument would fall on deaf ears. He had made up his mind a long time ago.

He asked (of course) about my religion. I said ‘Quaker’ which tends to be confused with Mormons and other sects. I tried to explain these were quite different. What is Quakerism? My mother also thought it was a sect. I still not quite sure what to call it, if not a sect.

We had dinner two days later with the same couple at their house. He had, in the meantime, researched the Quakers and was pleased that we believed some of the same things (no place for dogmatic or abusive priests or mans. He understood that Quakers are not like Mormons. That was a relief.

Mormons have been converting people in India for a long time and may therefore be the best known of protestant sects. Like in Nepal, where the converted are often referred to as ‘dal-bhat’ christians (dal=pulses and bhat=rice), here they are called ‘rice-christians.’

The next door couple knew a Canadian Mormon couple who had stayed at their AirBnB in Delhi and they kept in touch, even meeting in Canada whenever they visit their son who has emigrated to Canada. They thought I looked like the (Mormon) wife and so they called them up on facetime; why not act right away to check an idea? We check ideas and definitions on google. Checking resememblances is best done on FaceTime.

So they called. and we looked at one another, and said hi. I didn’t think we looked similar (the couple is quite a bit younger, no grey hairs yet) but I am used to people from other parts of the world who think (white) women of European ancestry and short hair look similar (in Africa people always said I looked like Princes Di). 

We chatted for a while and thenwaved to each other and everyone was left with whatever their opinion they ahd about us looking alike or not, and I had made some new friends in Winnipeg.

Before dinner we were treated to a karaoke performance of our host who has a beautiful voice, singing traditional Hindu songs. My friend was also invited to sing. She too has a beautiful voice. I was worried that I had to sing as well. Thus far I have managed to avoid karaoke in my life. Luckily this remains so.

The dinner was of course amazing, Indian with a touch of Russia (where they ahd lived for a few years): a beet/yogurt salad, and ice-cream for desert. I am violating my rule about not getting second helpings all the time here.