Archive for November, 2022

A new routine

Overnight I turned into a full-time nurse when Axel returned home after 4 nights in the hospital where the laminectomy was performed. He was sent home with a very complex pill routine to manage his pain (on top of his regular pills). I tried several spread sheet arrangements to get the pill administration right, but whenever one dose was given later or earlier, it upset the whole applecart and I had to change everything. Eventually I used a paper and pencil log that I kept next to my bed. Penciled in were the times when the next pills were due which I then traced in ink to indicated they had been administered, or erased when things did not go according to the plan. It was the best I could come up with, a kludgy arrangement in handwriting Axel could not read. Axel preferred another system. We nearly came to a fight over it. Our minds work differently. But it was clear to both of us that I would set the alarm for midnight, 2AM, 4AM, 6AM to wake myself up first and then the patient. During this time, I would administer the pill(s), empty the urinal and fill up his cup with water. This made for several sleepless nights. I thought of night nurses who at least go home after their shift and catch up on sleep. I was on 7/24.

Thanksgiving was as low key as it could get. We told everyone to stay away. I did roast the turkey because I thought it should be cooked after sitting in brine for three days. It was a brine mixture of salt, sriracha, mustard and buttermilk (who made this up?). I also baked two pumpkin pies because the pumpkins I had bought some time ago had started to rot. And so, our Thanksgiving à deux consisted of a few tiny pieces of turkey, a spoonful of mashed some potatoes and a few dollops of apple sauce to complete the main course. For dessert Axel ate a tiny slice of pumpkin pie while I served myself a large piece with whipped cream for just rewards. Axel’s appetite was nowhere near his usual appetite (especially for a traditional thanksgiving meal). We may have been the only two people who did not feel bloated after this traditional overabundant meal.  Tessa showed up the next day and cooked us a slightly more elaborate Thanksgiving meal, even though that one was still a shadow of what it should have been with all of us sitting around the table. Now we upgraded to a Thanksgiving à trois. We held hands this time.

We explained our pill administration challenge and Tessa suggested an app. Of course, why had I not thought of that. From the many offerings we selected the one with the most and highest ratings (Medisafe). Not only does it keep track of all meds (dosage and time), but changes are also easily accommodated. You can add a traditional alarm sound, or, if you prefer, a voice from a famous personality such as Obama or Hillary, or, if you so desire, Trump, as well as voices from famous movies, radio, and TV characters. Now I can monitor his meds from my phone while he manages his pills on his own phone. As a result of this I no longer need to wake myself and can, in principle, sleep uninterrupted. It doesn’t entirely work out like that because there is still (his) alarm and lights go on, etc. But I feel more rested.

The supply of opiates (Oxycodone) is rapidly dwindling to be gone (at this rate) exactly 2 weeks after the operation. Most people say that at that point acetaminophen will do. But what operation are they talking about? This is not a knee or hip replacement. He has a gigantic scar on his back, and the thick muscles under it all had to be pushed or jostled (?) out of the way to get to his vertebrae. Everything there is severely traumatized. It is hard to imagine that the pain will be more manageable in four days, but I hope it will be, so that he too can have a real night sleep.

Willie

On Wednesday, the day before Axel went into the hospital for his back surgery, I met Willie. I had not planned to meet Willie. In fact, I would never have crossed paths with him if it wasn’t for my Toyota car keys that have the unpleasant tendency to turn the car lock on active when I don’t carefully put them down. And so, after filling my car with gas and was ready to get back into my car I found all doors locked. And my phone was in there too.

Long lines of cars were waiting to get to my spot at the pump, but I couldn’t move my car. I made a ‘so sorry’ gesture to the car behind mine and then sought out a person whose cell phone I could use. I hoped that Axel would pick up the call even though it may have seemed like a robocall. Luckily, he did. I explained my predicament and left him to figure out how to get his keys to me (we have only one car). We have good friends who had a car available and gave Axel the wheels to bring me the spare set of keys. It would be a bit of a wait.

In the meantime, here I was in the cold in the dark, bereft of phone and keys. And this is when I met Wllie. Willie is the guy who sits in a small box in the middle of the pumps and presses buttons to allow the next customer to fill up. Willie took pity on me out there in the cold and let me in his warm little box and pulled up a chair. We started to chat, and I learned a lot about him and his job. He is originally from the Dominican Republic and told me he that he hates the cold more so than the hurricanes that fly by every so often in the fall in his homeland. He told me he can handle hurricanes, but the cold gets him. Funny, for me it would be the other way around. 

He said the cold aggravates his asthma and then proceeded to tell me how, since his childhood, all sorts of remedies have been tried on him, herbal concoctions, and pharmaceuticals but nothing helped until he started smoking pot. Of course, he cannot smoke pot on the job. He only smokes when he is alone.

So, getting in and out of his small box in the winter is a challenge. I asked him why he ended up here in cold New England. He shrugged his shoulders and told me he didn’t know that it is a hard place to live, expensive and cold. But anything is better than staying on the island because there is no work, and the little work that is there pays next to nothing, much less than what he makes now (he did add that he’d like a little more money, but even Nelson Rockefeller said that in an interview in the 50s).

He came here because his uncle brought his father here and his father brought him here. After 5 years he became an American citizen. He is still trying to get his wife here, but the paperwork stalled when the pandemic hit.

I told him I was, like him, not born an American. We exchanged notes on the process of becoming one. We talked about the intimidating practices of uniformed officials and how small they made us feel. He observed that he doesn’t often hear from white folks about such things. And why would he, we live in very separate bubbles.

I watched him press buttons on his computer and realized he can never take his eyes of the computer because the gas pump’s system needs to be reset after each fill up. It bleeps when someone has paid, and the next customer pulls up. He needs to press a button to allow the next customer to fill his tank. He does this 8 hours a day, from 2-10 pm, without a break because there is no one else to take over. He does have a bathroom in a small room tacked on to his box. But even then, when he is in there, he can hear the bleeps and must rush back to his computer. As he told me this, he made a gesture of pulling up his pants (so I gathered we were talking about number 2!). His bathroom is so clean that people from the nearby store that belongs to the same company walk over to his bathroom because it is so clean. How he manages to keep it so clean while attending to the tyranny of the bleeping computer is a mystery. I didn’t ask him.

Occasionally he must leave his box to deal with pump problems, cards that don’t work or gasoline spills. He told me that he couldn’t leave me alone (the cash register is in the box), and so we traipsed out now and then to deal with such problems.  I also watched him interact with cash paying customers or people with problems and I was touched by his kind and friendly manner in his dealing with people, some very exercised about the long wait (it is the cheapest gas around).

After about 45 minutes Axel showed up with the spare set of keys and I introduced him to Willie and said goodbye. He had made my long and cold wait into a very pleasant experience. I think I will go back sometime to bring him something to help with his asthma.


November 2022
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