Sylvia's Journal

Two weeks ago I couldn’t do much with my knee, just a slight bend, hobbling behind my walker. Now I can bend it 90 degrees and can walk with ease, even without a cane. 

Last week I was graduated from home based physical therapy to outpatient PT. I had my first evaluation to establish the baseline. It was pretty good in terms of numbers but not so good pain wise. It had not occurred to me that having the visit to the surgeon and PT within hours of each other might be a bit much. By the time I arrived home I was in great pain and exhausted, especially after we tacked on a visit to Whole Foods to get some lunch as Axel was starting to get hangry and I was irritable because of the pain.

I decided to skip the evening round of exercises and went to sleep early, with my head down and legs up. I slept well except that my body wakes up each time I need another pain pill. I don’t have to set an alarm. The body knows when the next one is due.

I now realize I had underestimated the recovery and the effort it takes to function well with a new knee. I had listened to many people who had had knee replacements done in the past and all were very happy. I think they had forgotten those unpleasant moments as we humans have a great capacity to forget about pain. If we could re-live pain as it was, in all its intensity, women would probably have no more than one child. 

And so, I had listened to the stories that included ‘a few days of intense pain,’ or, ‘after 10 days or 2 weeks things got better,’ and believed them. I am writing this all down so when it is time for the next knee, I can look up what things were really like: very unpleasant, to put it mildly, and this said by someone who has a great deal of tolerance for pain.

Over the last few months before the operation, I had struggled doing the stretching and strengthening exercises that the knee doctor had recommended. They were rather overwhelming, more than an hour a day. At first, I decided to not do them at all, an illogical response to the overwhelm, from all to nothing. Finally, about 6 weeks ago, I split them up in half, doing one half each day. I was able to do that up to a week before the surgery because my walking was starting to deteriorate. I blamed the exercises and did not know what to do until Tessa reminded me that our bodies know what to do. I asked my body and it said: stop! 

That month of exercises is now paying off, as people had told me it would. I must remember that too. Most of the exercises I do know are the same as the ones I did before, except they are so much more difficult and exhausting. My motto is ‘biting through,’ knowing that this too will come to an end.