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Travel jitters

Maybe it was contagious – the nervousness of Axel, on the road as a consultant after all these years, or the man sitting next to me on the flight from Boston to Atlanta. He was one bundle of nerves, manifested in scratch sores on his bald head, his constant and jerky movements and talking aloud to himself throughout the flight as he wrote a very intense email to someone. I imaged it was an angry email or else something existential.

This is my 179th trip since I joined MSH, or thereabouts. After I had to reconstruct my travels for the INS in order to obtain my American citizenship, in 2005, I kept up, recording every trip since; I am now on line 179 of the Excel spreadsheet.

I used to be very nervous, each trip, as each assignment was a stretch assignment. Now they are not stretches, but interesting nevertheless. The nervousness was caught and now I try to get rid of it by having a dirty martini, not having found a massage place at Atlanta airport.

After a fitful night sleep, with alarms going off then here then there, and weird dreams, we woke up to a morning that was busy with getting ready – I have my routines but Axel doesn’t so he had to invent his. I tried to be helpful but much of the pre-travel jitters are psychic of course and no one can help.

This morning we wished Z. happy birthday in snowy Kabul, over Skype, Jo was also in on the call, from faraway, and probably just as cold, Canada. It is strange to see Z. without her scarf – I do notice that on Skype calls the girls are not covered, F. wasn’t either when we talked with her from Maine in December. While teaching them in Kabul I never ever saw them without their scarves.

And now I am getting psychologically ready for the 15 hour flight to Jo’burg. I am well equipped with sleeping pills, a fluffy neck pillow, an economy comfort seat and two awesome books: Laurie Garrett’s hefty tome about the collapse of global public health (Betrayal of Trust) about ebola, plaque and such and the inability of most governments to deal with those disasters. I am also (re-)reading Eric Berne’s seminal work on transactional analysis (Games People Play) – one of the more practical books about communication.

Axel should by now also be someplace over the Atlantic, heading to Abuja. Hopefully we can reconnect on Skype when we both settle into our hotel rooms tomorrow night – on the same continent and in contiguous time zones.

Flying around

Axel’s trip to Nigeria is now all arranged. We had hoped he could travel via Amsterdam and stock up on cheese and licorice on the way back but instead he will fly via Frankfurt. Sausage is not allowed into the US, unfortunately.

Between re-financing our mortgage, rotator cuff physical therapy and trip preparations we have hardly seen each other all day. This time two suitcases are open on our bedroom floor, a strange sight.

It is more complicated when both of us our out at the same time. This calls for much more planning, especially on Axel’s part who is the usual caretaker.

We had dinner last night at Woody’s, a delicious wild salmon and Californian spinach that was a cross between spinach and arugula. During the cocktail hour I sat hunched over by the woodstove and eating too much cheese.

It had been another one of these very long days and I was suddenly looking forward to be in a plane for 15 hours – imagine that!

Afghan out

The days just before a trip out, especially a month long trip that includes assignments in three different countries, is like white water rafting, the exciting part of it. I do remember the still eddies on the side but they now are nowhere to be found. I make long days, leaving the house at 5:30 and returning more than 12 hours later. This will continue for a while.

We can now both be found at MSH – Axel talking with the Nigeria folks and I with the South Africa folks – we are both excited about our assignments that are complex and challenging – we like it that way.

Last night Sita took us out to an Afghan restaurant in Cambridge. It was one of her many Christmas presents. She was in Cambridge to work with Harvard on a design for some event that needs her expertise – not just her scribing expertise but also her increasingly deep knowledge of how groups can best come to good and joint decisions that are intended to make the world a better place. After all these years it looks like her and my mission in life are closing in on each other.

This was the first time we ate in an Afghan restaurant that was not in Afghanistan. We now know all the dishes and could compare them to those we had often, either in the MSH office kitchen or in our own guesthouse kitchen. We also noticed how the dishes were Americanized and concluded that this was not an improvement. For one the servings were much too large and so we returned with a doggie bag that was sufficient to provide several meals in the coming days.

The other part of Americanization was of course the wall covered with wine racks and the hard liquoir cabinet. One does what one has to do. We ordered a beer, mom and dad only, as Sita is a very disciplined expectant mom who doesn’t drink any alcohol and stays away from runny cheeses. We are very proud of her.

Piles

I am playing scrabble on several fronts: via my smart phone with my sister, one game after another, all of which she wins by a huge margin, in any language except Spanish; I also play with my my friend Andrew whose attendance is spotty, and who is not as good as my sister so I may actually win; and then Sita and I each started a game with the other at the same time, making for a tandem game that discloses how late Sita goes to bed.

And then we played real old-fashioned board scrabble – although it wasn’t total traditional as we were all armed with our smart phone app of the Merriam Webster dictionary to make sure the word was OK – that was our convention – which prevented much haggling and horse trading during the game. My sisters’ difficult games are paying off as I am much better versed in the allowable 2 and 3 letter words.

In between scrabble games Sita took us on a hike. With my painful shoulder and ankle I requested a level walk on more or less even terrain. But soon I found myself pulling at twigs and branches as I worked the steep path up the 1000+ ft rock formation that splits Easthampton and beyond from the Connecticut River and the rest of the world. Sita told us it is called the Tofu curtain, setting the five college towns apart from the blue collar world of Holyoke, Springfield and other non tofu towns.

We left western Mass too late for Axel to be seated with beer in hand at the opening of the Super Bowl. He dropped me off – I have no interest in football – and hurried off to the excitement at the house of one of Sita’s inlaw pairs (she has two).

I stayed home, by the fire, watching endless repeats of Downton abbey, after a documentary of British royal weddings – all variations on a theme with enormous ‘piles of bricks’ dominating the scenery at every twist and turn. It’s the ideal setup for finishing knitting projects: two done, countless more to go. Axel returned disappointed with a bag full of leftover Super Bowl food which served us well for a late evening snack and lunch.

Paper luck

I am sitting in the orange room with its Chinese brocade curtains, next to the lime green room with its thousands of instruments, which is next to the pink-walled dining room which is next to the mustard green hallway and the turquoise kitchen. Oh and we slept in green-blue room next to the pink bathroom. And we admired the pistachio baby room that is starting to get ready to receive the little tyke a few months hence.

We are at Sita and Jim’s house in Easthampton – a riot of colors, instruments and things that once were part of our households (in Senegal, in New York, in New York, in West Newbury, in Manchester and in Kabul) – a museum of eclectic living one could call it.

After taking a walk with one daughter and our two granddogs in Ravenswood park, we headed west to be with the other daughter, now 6 months pregnant. We are beginning to ease into our new role as grandparents – I already love it.

The end of the week was marked by a series of intense conversations, some that left me deflated and discouraged and other that lifted me up and gave me hope. It is amazing how radically one’s outlook can change through words strung together in conversation – head down after one and head up after the other.

These talks are all related, in one way or another, to our pre-retirement future; a still very long way forward that is entirely uncharted. This stands in sharp contrast to our lives pre-Afghanistan, when the path was rather straight.

After a yummy Japanese dinner with more sushi than was good for us, in busy downtown Northampton, we delivered the paper goods Axel acquired in Japan, cluttering our daughtes’ houses up and uncluttering ours. I also delivered the first of many knitted baby clothes.

The first grade luck ticket Axel got in Japan has done its work already. Axel and I will both be leaving for Africa next Saturday, he via Amsterdam to Abuja and I via Atlanta () to Jo’burg. Axel has been hired by my organization to help one project write its final report. At one point I had considered applying for a job there. Now Axel can check the place out for himself. We did take note of all the security notices about Nigeria – nothing new after Afghanistan, but disturbing nevertheless. Al Quaeda, in one form or another, is everywhere. Killing the boss of a network doesn’t kill the network, nor does it gets at any of the conditions that feed it.

Little lucks

Four days after getting back we are battling colds and I find myself feeling rather low after the high of Japan. This has something to do with the complex arrangements of accepting assignments here and there with always the chance that things emerge at dates different than planned, having to say no when a yes was desired and not being able to fully support this or that colleague. I suppose it is the life of a consultant, but luckily still one with health insurance.

Listening to the news and watching the news on TV didn’t help lift my spirits but one thing did – an interview in Commonwealth, a State of Massachusetts’ magazine, with the state’s youngest elected mayor. He is 6 months out of college, 22 years old, openly gay and filled with great ideas and earnest plans for one of the poorest and sickest towns in the state. If he is able to do what he has in mind one should be buying real estate there now.

The kid has taken advantage of program designed for poor teenagers to make them more politically savvy. It seems they worked. He found and attended these programs with a dogged perseverance and intentionality where the rest of his cohort was probably on facebook. At fifteen he already knew that if you put a group of people together that wants to change something, they can – a paraphrase of Margaret Mead’s famous quote. His interview is good leadership reading that I plan to use.

We deposited the Japanese good luck head at Tessa and Steve, went for a long walk with the dogs and were treated to Steve’s winter soup and some fancy hard cheeses, Christmas gifts. Axel still hasn’t colored in his good luck head but he is keeping his lucky penny and chance tightly in his pocket. We have good hopes. Some of his good luck rubbed off on me when I managed to get the last non-middle economy comfort seat on the 15 hour flight from Atlanta to Jo’burg. Not everyone would call that luck but I do.

Sita is back from Davos and rubbing elbows with the rich and famous. She claims to be looking really pregnant now. We can’t wait to see her next week when she has a gig in Boston.

Recalibrating

We are home again and trying to help our confused bodies figure out whether it is day or night. This made for fitful sleep, waking up every two hours.

We came home to the noxious fumes that are emitted by our current political climate – expected but still repulsive in this election year. There are the irritating statements of the republican candidates to each other and to Obama (the prize goes to the one who compared Obama to the disgraced captain of the Italian cruise ship). Our local daily, which Axel calls The Gloucester Daily Fish Wrapper, opened with the headline “American Dream in Peril: Fast Action Needed.” I suppose all this is still better than Afghanistan but it is only a matter of degrees.

I finished my long overdue reading of Ann Jones’ Winter in Kabul.’ Her experiences in those early post-Taliban years (which now is referred to by some as the good times) match ours, especially the section about education. It is a sad indictment of the judgment of all the experts who have converged onto Afghanistan at such a high cost that, at least in the education sector, things are not a whole lot better than 9 years ago. At least in the health sector there is a little bit more to show for all the effort.

I am now redirecting my gaze to the south, more specifically South Africa, Namibia and Lesotho, where the next assignment will take me 10 days from now.

Return to base

Being at the airport again, in less than a week, makes Japan a bit of an ‘in-and-out’ place. Axel’s good luck did not produce an upgrade but that might have required a grade of luck higher than available. We did get two adjacent economy comfort seats, so we are feeling a little bit lucky, and we get to use the lounge.

The second day of the workshop we were riding a wave of great enthusiasm that lasted into the evening. The students invited us to eat in a Chinese restaurant that is famous for its Peking Duck.

The atmosphere was festive and full of energy. Pitcher after pitcher of local beer was ordered to wash away the various little dishes of Chinese delicacies. The chef himself came out with two whole gleaming roasted ducks, to great applause, before carving them up into tiny slices to put in the thin rice paper wrappers.

I am already being contacted through LinkedIn and facebook by my newfound student friends. They wanted to know how I got to where I am now – how a psychologist could be working in public health – question after question rained on me. “Look for mentors, role models,” I suggested, and then they picked me as their mentor. “Ask people who do this work what books to read,” I said and then they wanted my email so they could ask. “Visit the departments of management and psychology and find out whether there are courses on organizational behavior.” They wrote down the suggestions in their notebooks and in their phones. I have a feeling I am going to be doing some mentoring in the near future.

We said our goodbyes and extended our good wishes to everyone’s future. A similar course is being planned next year – I hope I can do it again. It is quite nice to have students who come for the learning rather than the extra money that a training workshop entails in the developing world.

This morning Axel took me for a short walk near the hotel to one of the art places. There are many buildings with names that include ‘Art,’ ‘Tokyo,’ ‘National,’ ‘Center,’ and ‘Museum,’ so I can’t quite remember the name of this one. It is an enormous display of architectural daredevilry and art, even without the exhibits, with its chrome, glass and wood, its four story atrium, its cone-shaped bases for restaurants at level 2 and 3 and its wide veranda along the galleries. Despite its size it had an intimate feel and they served good coffee, including a little barista heart drawn in the milky foam.

Good fortune

There are some twenty five twenty-somethings in the class. A few are quite a bit older, they are the career changers, and some are in between. But most are fresh out of school or on their first jobs. Several are with the Japanese branches of the big consulting firms and a few with government agencies.

During the introductions I asked them why there were in this class. The responses were heartwarming and would make one believe that the next generation is going to make this a better world. Of course there is a good dose of naiveté in all this about what is possible and human nature, but still…

Before we did any introductions T started the class off with a few of her relaxation exercises. I watched the faces of some of the people – the puzzled looks were priceless. But this is Japan: when the teacher tells you to do something you do it even if you are clueless about why or wondering whether you are in the wrong class.

In the morning we talked about leadership and the leaders they see around them and what they do that earns these leaders their high approval ratings. I am finding that the notion of what leaders ought to do is quite universal – the amalgamated pictures of the best qualities and behaviors of their examples produced some sort of super mensch who would do away with such noxious things as inferiority complexes, confusion, aimlessness, revenge, or feelings of disillusion, abandonment, poor self-care, the total absence of self-awareness and the loss of hope.

I had the class study the management and leadership competencies that my organization expects of its staff and we compared this with the UN approved competencies. Interestingly the competency of ‘managing the money’ was missing in the UN list. We know about the importance of this as we have gotten burned a few times. One would think that the UN would have burned itself more than a few times.

In the afternoon we did a variant on the Barry Oshry Power Game simulation with as task for the temporary organizational system the creation of origami products. To determine who would be tops, middles or bottoms we had people line themselves up according to their position in their current work hierarchy. Not surprising everyone was crowding around the lower end, fighting for positions at the very bottom. The winners of this contest we put in the top position. There was an expression of shock on their faces when we announced that their push towards the bottom actually had put them at the top.

I don’t think I could introduce the origami variant of the simulation anywhere else in the world. Here paper-folding is a bit like singing in South Africa – it is in the genes. Everyone was able to create complicated things like balls and cameras from pieces of paper no larger than a sticky note.

The mass production of certain prototypes created stress in the system. The Japanese workers were sliding into the habits of Chinese mass producers resulting in uneven quality of the products. This created more stress in the system. The salaries consisted of candy – high quality and large for the tops, small and cheap for the bottoms. Bonuses were freely provided to increase production output.

As in experiences elsewhere, the middles felt useless, the tops were clueless and felt powerless and the bottoms were without direction. We spent most of the afternoon talking about this.

By 5:30 PM one would expect a class to be exhausted and anxious to go home, especially since we are doing this on a Saturday – their day off from work. But no, we couldn’t get them to stop talking about their experience in the simulation. Never has a debriefing of a simulation been so self-generated. Although we stopped at 5:30 many didn’t leave until after 6 PM.

In the meantime Axel had gone on a breathless tour into the innards of Japanese religious life, guided by a friend of T who happened to go to a shrine to hand in her good luck face for last year and get a new one. She comes from a line of priests and took Axel on a trip to the country side, into Buddhists and adjacent animist shrines and more.

He lucked out on rituals that happen only 4 times a year and received the fortune that is of the highest ‘luck’ grade. It was as if some invisible hands pushed him into the path of experiences that are rare and unusual for a foreigner to see. And then to think that I had nearly let him sleep in in which case he would not have met his guide at breakfast, invisible hand indeed.

For dinner we had yet another culinary adventure (I believe it is called shabu-shabu), a variant on Mongolian hotpot. We were served thinly sliced strips of raw meet (pork and richly marbled beef) on slatted wooden platters. The meat was balanced by a large plate piled high with Japanese greens, Enogi mushrooms, carrots and turnips, leeks and other vegetables I didn’t recognize.

All this we dipped in a broth of collagen (yes, indeed, the stuff that makes your skin look good), and then mixed with all sorts of ground spices, pastes and sauces, neatly served in dainty little dishes with tiny bamboo spoons.

At the end a plate of noodles was dumped into the remaining broth and we slurped these from our lovely pottery bowls. The meal came to an end with a small scoop of green tea powder ice cream and a cup of tea – everything once more served in artful ceramics.

I am sorry that we have only one more culinary adventure left. Axel too has only one more day left of exploring (modern) Tokyo. Departure is tomorrow afternoon.

The food we eat

All the parts of the chicken that we in the US discard were on the menu of tonight’s dinner, presented on tiny bamboo skewers: piece of cartilage from the chicken’s back; slices of fatty chicken skin; pieces of its liver, and the gizzards. Each skewer received some special spices before being put on the braziers that lined the tiny cooking space around which we were all seated. And then there was the chicken breast sashimi (yes, raw), grated daikon with a raw quail egg, tiny green peppers. And we loved it all. It was yet another culinary adventure.

In the morning I conducted a session about organizational behavior with nine junior but fairly experienced international development professionals in the room and one on Skype from Washington. The latter was a last minute surprise. I took it, optimistically, as an experiment but I think it failed. Experiential exercises and small group work with all but one of the students in the room and the other 14 time zones away, plus a connection that dropped every 5 minutes was not a formula for success.

For lunch my Japanese colleagues proposed Italian. I politely declined and proposed Japanese as there are still many discoveries to be made. Lunch consisted of a raw egg broken over grated taro root and rice with soy sauce, thin strips of fatty pork dipped in a fish sauce, miso and pickles.

After lunch we went over the program for tomorrow’s workshop which is about leadership, basically a repeat of the one we did in November. The difference is that this group’s English is very poor, at least according to test scores. This means I will speak less and T will speak more.

We racked our brains, once again, to come up with a scenario that would allow small teams to experience the role of ‘opposer’ in a group task. Finding a task where anyone would oppose the leader is nearly impossible in this culture. Nowhere else have I had such difficulty finding the right topic.

We also re-wrote the tasks that the students have to tackle in a simulated work environment. In November the task was the writing of slogans to educate the Japanese public about emergency preparedness. This time we are using a more traditional Japanese pastime, paper folding, as the main task. I was assured that everyone here masters this skill.

In the meantime Axel is exploring the art scene and collecting more brochures than you can shake a stick at.


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