Archive Page 13

Checking box two and three

There are many things one should eat when in Lucknow. Axel had done the research and sent me a list of 10 items. One of them is Tunday kabab, a small patty, crisp on the outside and mushy on the inside, made from goat meat. V is vegetarian and so is her cousin, so they watched as R and I ate these at the top floor of a shopping mall that, to his regret, served no alcohol. It is the kind of snack that would pair well with a beer. 

The Royal Café, where we ate the night before, has several branches across town. We picked a different one for a late lunch. We ordered several varieties of ‘chaat’. These are savory snacks, usually sold and eaten on the side of the road. To me they looked very healthy (yogurt, potato, spices) compared to American snack foods but my friends told me they weren’t. This (and all the sugar I ate) would explain why I have gained 2 kilos . 

We ordered a bunch from the special ‘chaat’ menu and shared them, followed by Royal café coffee which was even better than cappuccino – foamy milk, coffee of course and then some secret ingredients.

After that we looked for the vests that had been promised to the neighbors – we visited a few shops.  I am traveling light this trip and refrained from adding to my shawl and scarf collection – but I must admit I saw some from Kashmir that were made from the finest wool, or beautifully embroidered. I was tempted but resisted.

We decided we would try one last shop before giving up. The Khadi Emporium, across from a Catholic cathedral and school, had the coveted vests for women and men. I served as a model, we took a picture, sent it to the neighbors, but they said no and we gave up. Now we had checked all the boxed for the day.

We returned to our hotel and selected some sweets from another Lucknow ‘must see’ which happened to be conveniently around the corner. The sweets and cookies were for the neighbors, and some of the more photogenic ones (decorated with silver foil) to take back home.  

And then it was time to leave for the airport. The flight was not as late as the outbound; still, we didn’t get home until 2AM. Now I have one more middle of the night flight, early Saturday morning at 2 AM and then I have one week of regular nights until we miss another night on a flight to Holland for our annual New Year sibling dinner.

Checking off boxes

Having completed our work in Lucknow on Tuesday we had all of Wednesday to do whatever we wanted.  Our plane back to Pune was not leaving until late on Wednesday. There were a few things we wanted to do, some boxes to check off: there was the sightseeing box, a shopping box and a food box.

For the sightseeing we chose to go to a Mughal complex, the Bara Imambara It is an impressive complex of poorly maintained buildings. It is monumental and elaborate. We dawdled for a while in the outer courtyard because my friends felt that me having to pay ten times as much as them to enter was exorbitant. I didnt mind, I am used to paying a lot more than locals. I think it is fair to charge foreign tourists more.

I cut the knot of indecision by saying I wanted to see this Labyrinth that was part of the structure. We learned later from our guide that the labyrinth was not intentionally made as a labyrinth but rather a construction side effect.

First, we had to take our shoes off to get inside the building where tickets were sold. It was cold, overcast and the stone floors were hard on our feet, and by extension, all the other lower body parts attached to my feet. 

A short stocky men approached is and began to guide us, without asking if we even wanted him, but it was good as he told us things we couldn’t have guessed. The ground floor has three giant and very high-ceilinged halls: the Chinese Hall, the Persian Hall and the Indian Hall. Each had a different decoration on the ceiling, geometric three-dimensional designs that, according to our guide, represented Chinese plates in the Chinese Hall, something else in the Persian Hall (the biggest of the three) and a melon in the Indian Hall. The now black and white decorations were at some time gold and silver but, according to our guide, ‘the Britishers’ had taken all that away. 

Small openings high below the ceiling betrayed that there were people up there, and thus ways to get there. Those were openings along some of the labyrinthian corridors in back of the walls. If I had known how many steps up and down on cold hard floors we’d have to navigate I would probably not have entered. By the time I realized this it was too late, and we were high up ducking our heads, going up small steps, around corners, and down, occasionally passing the openings we had seen from below. These openings were large enough for an adult to get through and tumble down 5 stories – no barriers to hold anyone back. By the time we got down I needed a hot bath and a massage – but then there was more, our guide insisted, and we saw more extraordinary architectural features that allowed those on the inside to spy on those outside, unnoticed; and more steps up and down but now with our shoes on.

Outside the entire complex were lots of auto- and horse-drawn rickshaws to take tourists to ‘chickan’ factories – this is a special kind of embroidery made on men’s and women’s clothing for which Lucknow is famous. An unhappy looking horse took us up to one of these production places where an equally unhappy looking woman showed us how she did the embroidery. We did the thing the Dutch are famous for, of ‘kijken, niet kopen’ (looking, not buying).

The driver took us along a few more Mughal buildings, among them the Darwaza Rumi, two enormous gateways on both sides of a long avenue.  By now our guide was gone and what there was to know had to be obtained from the internet. There were many more buildings with intricate architectural flourishes. These building too were unhappy looking, taken over by squatters and vegetation.

Thumbs up

We went to Lucknow to show our wares. We did that today. Our proposal now may have some more hands to push it along. 

Much like at the university last week, now too we were dealing with a lot of moving parts, VUCA time again: until we started we did not quite know who was going to be in the room, other than that we’d have elected and career professionals in the room, an uncommon combination. We didn’t know when we would actually be able to start and how much time we had.

The participants to this experiment, acknowledged as such at the highest levels of the department, had come by car from Agra, a three and a half drive through the fog. Some arrived earlier than others, so we had a conversation about expectations. Most told us they were summoned, leaving real expectations to our imagination.

We had asked a graphic artists who we had put on our bid, whether he could create four visuals that represented four buckets of findings that we created out of the raw interview data from Ghaziabad. We told him we couldn’t pay him, and that it was an investment, just like all of us have been investing in this proposal. He did a superb and JIT job.

The morning we arrived in Lucknow, after our sleepless night, R scouted around to find a printshop nearby. They printed the four images on flipchart size (A1) boards. These we then used as small group  conversation starters. We did this for two reasons: one to find out whether the challenges and skill sets that were relevant in one municipality would resonate with elected and selected officials in another. The other reason was to show people a way of interacting with each other to make sense of ‘data’ – the things we had learned in Ghaziabad.

I am happy to say there were no PPTs, even though the conference room was superbly set up for that (a giant screen and all the cables built in) and everyone expected them. Instead we asked for a whiteboard to take notes. There was none when we arrived, but now there is a whiteboard screwed into the wall of one of the department’s brandnew conference rooms.

The day before the event we prepared and iterated several possible designs for an unknown number of participants, unknown starting time and unknown length of the session. My team mates made it clear that, no matter what, I had to establish my credibility first. They are my cultural interpreters so I listen seriously to what they say when it comes to culture and habits. Of course, we are taking some liberties with what people expect and are used to (like PPTs and sitting down all the time). After all, we are challenging the status quo and in particular habits that get in the way of UP reaching its very ambitious goals.

And so I did establish my credentials, helped by our client who introduced me and mentioned the various countries I had worked (including Nepal). I think that helped too.

I shared some of the latest trends and concepts and approaches in leadership and management development, drawing heavily on all the things I have learned from my subscription to WBECS since I left MSH. Then my team mates took over and led conversations, in two parallel small groups, focused on the information in the visuals. All this was done in Hindi. It was clear from the beginning that our program is going to have to be done in Hindi – some people were comfortable in English but most were not. Conversations in Hindi were so much more animated than in English. That evening I downloaded the Hindi program in Duolingo on my phone.

Although the session we had designed veered significantly from what actually happened yesterday, our plan turned out to be robust – we had focused on the outcome we were after, rather than a blow by blow time chart. We wanted to give people a taste of how we do capacity building and collaborative planning and problem solving. We wanted people to leave feeling hungry for more of what we had to offer (this they did). We also wanted to validate the challenges and skills sets we had identified as critical (they were).

We ended the two hour session with lunch. After a family photo in the enormous courtyard of the brand-new building, everyone was ushered into the office of the principal secretary of the department. Our client had decided it was good to work the iron while it was hot and have the participants provided immediate feedback to the man at the top.  We were asked to join (after they had discussed we know not what) and I gave a brief overview of our approach and philosophy. As we were told before we arrived, the PS would give us 15 minutes. It was like clockwork. Something really remarkable is going on here that is very different from the well worn stories people tell about Indian government bureaucracy.

We understood that the feedback would essentially open or close the door to our proposal that is currently lingering somewhere. In our final debrief with our client it was clear that we had the thumbs up. It is true that we had been a little concerned when some of the (more powerful) participants had said we hadn’t given them any solutions, only focused on problems. Our client told them, with a wink and a twinkle in her eye, that this had not been the intent of the session and, in order to get to solutions, the department would have to pay us. And this is where we took our leave. We’ll be in touch, she said.

We celebrated the efforts and good vibes of the day in restaurant that served Babur’s food. It was as if I was back in Afghanistan, except for the Indian rum (Old Monk) that accompanied my meal.

Clean and green

From my fourth floor hotel room I watch two men pick through a 6 foot garbage dumpster. Five dogs stand around them. One man stands inside the dumpster, the other on the outside.  Both are barefooted. The dogs get thrown scraps from time to time and wiggle their tales, as if saying, more, more. 

The men are sorting through the garbage which is now half inside and half outside the dumpster. This, I think, is one of the challenges of city government. But I am wrong. After breakfast I see they are still at it, but now they are cleaning up the mess they made: all recyclables are in neatly tied up in plastic bags, a plastic drum with something else is being covered; a metal oil drum is placed on their cart, looks like it has food scraps (the garbage container is next to one hotel and across from mine).

The men have swept the area clean, now wearing hotel slippers and flipflops. I understand later that these may be cleaners to whom the city has outsourced its recycling program. Several hours for one small garbage dumpster – I wonder how many of these people are employed and what they make. But cheap labor is of course in abundance here.

When I join my team mates at the most amazing sweets (and other things) restaurant next to our hotel I see that the streets have been swept clean (somewhat) – the green and clean Lucknow banners I have seen all over the city, starting at the airport are not just clichés. There is action and, clearly, money, behind the initiative, and it is not just ‘green for a day.’

Later I learned from one of the local elected officials that her ward in Agra muncipality (the one where the Taj Mahal is located) has won first prize in ‘cleanest ward’ in the entire state (remember, a state with 232 million inhabitants!) – this is no mean feat.  The reward was 25 lakhs (about 35.000 USD) , an interesting amount, to further improve green and clean in Agra.

Vuca time!

The fastest way to get from Pune to Lucknow is the one and only direct flight (2 hours) that leaves at 3:30AM and arrives at 5:30AM. On the way back it is a bit better: we will leave at 10PM and arrive at midnight. With an hour ride to the airport we left at 1AM. I usually go to bed at 10PM. Although it wasn’t too  difficult to stay awake till 1, it meant I skipped  a night. I tried to sleep at different moments of the trip, including when we arrived at the hotel at 7AM. I have not mastered the skill of sleeping in short bursts.

Our plane was filled for three quarters with young cadets who either went home to Lucknow after training or had a holiday in Pune, as one told us. They looked very young in their crisp uniforms and their army baseball caps. Many were from the air force which has an enormous base (this is India’s southern command) near the airport. Lucknow too has an enormous cantonment.  India’s army must be an important employer. At our friends’ house we met two retired military men. One of them well trained in organizational development, leadership and management, who was quite familiar with many Harvard business cases.

The government of Uttar Pradesh (UP) flew me from Pune to Lucknow (but not my friends), picked me (and thus us) up at the airport, put me up in the Lucknow Comfort Inn and made a chauffeur available to drive us back and forth to the government buildings. This offer arrived on my birthday – the first and most unusual present ever received.

We have a series of appointments set up for us – a schule that is a bit of a moving target. And so we don’t expect anything to go as planned. Between the three of us we now use ‘VUCA’ as a shorthand for having to turn on a dime. We are beyond plan A and B, it’s VUCA time!

I am still not quite sure what to expect. I also don’t know how to dress. My friend and many of the Indian Gen Xers I am seeing on the streets don’t wear traditional dresses (the wide pants and tunics). I still have a few of them from my Kabul days and had packed them. But my friend was quite adamant that I not wear any of them. She suggested I give them to the maid, which I will probably do.

She certainly wouldn’t wear a saree unless she is forced. Sarees are beautiful but they are impractical in modern life, such as riding a scooter or motor bike. In Pune, around the university many of the young girls dress as if it was New York, the black not even fashionable. It is really a shame as the vibrant colors are disappearing from the scene. Only elderly women wear sarees (the ones my age, hmmm), younger ones (and it seems poorer women of any age) wear the shalwar kameez but even those seem to be on the out.

Food and religion

Having completed my world peace duties, we completed our journey into Pune with a south Indian thali lunch. Thali is served on a stainless steel platter with small cups that are filled by wandering servers. Each has several small pans which contain dal, a vegetable mix, a thin broth. Then there is raita and a potato based stew, the latter served directly onto the plate. All this is accompanied by several kinds of breads, like roti, paratha, puri, etc. Everything is spiced, some very hot, some not so. The servers continue to fill your plate until you say no, so it is easy to overeat. After the first course there is fried rice and then sweets to complete the meal. My friends see to it that I sample as many different foods as possible. 

In the evening we had the neighbors over, a retired couple (he navy, she a criminal justice lawyer) who have adopted my friends as their daughter and son in law. Daily, a small dish shows up from next door with something to eat. 

I was warned that the man has an intense dislike of the religion of India’s neighbors. I had intended not to disclose that all my overseas assignments had been in countries with a predominantly (if not all) Muslim population. But it was as if he knew because he started off our conversation straight away, saying he had read all the holy texts, and Hinduism was the bets religion to have.

Although he predicted that Islam would take over the world in about 50 years, he also dismissed the religion and its holy texts as no good (not good for women, not good for the world). I tried to convey a more nuanced view on Islam, having lived in countries with very different interpretations of Islam by ordinary people. But, having fought on India’s western front, he was unfazed. His wife came from Kashmir, so the dislike of religion, conflated with a particular national identity, was shares between husband and wife. Interestingly, this conflation seems to be happening in the US right now as well with Trumps latest executive order regarding jews and Israel.

He challenged me several times to see whether I could name the places in the holy Quran that said women were equal to men; he had given my friends the book with Arabic text and English translation, which was pulled out. I searched for the ‘W’ of women but of course any argument would fall on deaf ears. He had made up his mind a long time ago.

He asked (of course) about my religion. I said ‘Quaker’ which tends to be confused with Mormons and other sects. I tried to explain these were quite different. What is Quakerism? My mother also thought it was a sect. I still not quite sure what to call it, if not a sect.

We had dinner two days later with the same couple at their house. He had, in the meantime, researched the Quakers and was pleased that we believed some of the same things (no place for dogmatic or abusive priests or mans. He understood that Quakers are not like Mormons. That was a relief.

Mormons have been converting people in India for a long time and may therefore be the best known of protestant sects. Like in Nepal, where the converted are often referred to as ‘dal-bhat’ christians (dal=pulses and bhat=rice), here they are called ‘rice-christians.’

The next door couple knew a Canadian Mormon couple who had stayed at their AirBnB in Delhi and they kept in touch, even meeting in Canada whenever they visit their son who has emigrated to Canada. They thought I looked like the (Mormon) wife and so they called them up on facetime; why not act right away to check an idea? We check ideas and definitions on google. Checking resememblances is best done on FaceTime.

So they called. and we looked at one another, and said hi. I didn’t think we looked similar (the couple is quite a bit younger, no grey hairs yet) but I am used to people from other parts of the world who think (white) women of European ancestry and short hair look similar (in Africa people always said I looked like Princes Di). 

We chatted for a while and thenwaved to each other and everyone was left with whatever their opinion they ahd about us looking alike or not, and I had made some new friends in Winnipeg.

Before dinner we were treated to a karaoke performance of our host who has a beautiful voice, singing traditional Hindu songs. My friend was also invited to sing. She too has a beautiful voice. I was worried that I had to sing as well. Thus far I have managed to avoid karaoke in my life. Luckily this remains so.

The dinner was of course amazing, Indian with a touch of Russia (where they ahd lived for a few years): a beet/yogurt salad, and ice-cream for desert. I am violating my rule about not getting second helpings all the time here.

A small contribution to world peace

My friend R is an alumnus of MIT. I had thought that the M stood for Massachusetts and that this was an Indian branch of the US MIT. Not so, the ‘M’ stands for Maharashtra, the state in which Mumbai and Pune are located. Through him I was invited to give a guest lecture at the MIT School of Government inside the World Peace University.

Until just minutes before my appearance it was not clear how much time I would have and who would actually be in the room. During a meeting with the Dean of the School we cleared up the confusion of me being a Construction Management expert (an inference based on the work we are seeking with the Department of Urban Development in UP, and Urban Development appearing to be synonymous with construction).

We settled on a 30 to 40 minutes ‘lecture.’ I was told there would be about 40 students. About two-thirds from the School of Government, most of the rest students from the Business School and then some faculty and a research assistant.

I indicated that I was not going to use any PowerPoints, which simplified things as I could easily adapt to whatever time slot was available. As a free agent I am very keen to preserve, as much as I can, my freedom of movement and choice. This is working in my favor.

I learned that not one person in the classroom planned to go into civil service – which I thought curious for a School of Government. But then again, the Indian system of government is quite different from the US system . This school trains and prepares the next generation of political leaders. The school has a strong Hindu/spiritual basis and a patron saint.

A Hindu prayer was broadcasted as we arrived at the classroom; everyone stopped in their tracks and stayed still in reverent silence. Daily, students are reminded, not only through the prayer, but also yoga and meditation and physical exercise classes that are part of the curriculum, what their calling ought to be (World Peace) and the values that need thus to be respected. 

At the start of the session I was seated, together with R and V with my back to the students watching my name on the projection screen and listening to one of the students reading my bio that R had sent them.

After that I had about 30 minutes for the session. I engaged in conversation with the students, having them talk, in pairs, about how they were going to resolve the dilemma of having promised everything to everyone during the campaign, and then, if elected, running into the reality of powerful stakeholder groups that would thwart any changes that these stakeholder groups didn’t like (usually promises made to the poorest segments of the population that would require some sacrifices by the elites).

There were only two women in the government class (and none in the business class). I tried to engage them but they were shy and not forthcoming. I was puzzled about this, knowing that there are plenty of strong female politicians to serve as role models. V thought it could have been the language. Even though classes are conducted in English it was clear not everyone was comfortable (at least in my presence) to express themselves in English. Still, it was a bit disappointing. 

At the end of the session I received a green silky stole and was given a framed picture of the school’s patron saint and a wooden plaque thanking me for my service to the school’s mission. Official and phone photos were taken, then a group photo and we were done.

Two young students had been assigned to guide us around, though they did not take part in the session as they had to be in class elsewhere. They had name badges that identified them as ‘student representative: female,’ and ‘student representative: male.’ 

After the session they joined us in a small conference room where we were served sweet chai and cookies. One of the students slipped into the room and asked permission to ask me a question. This was granted by the academic head. Since I mentioned I had worked for decades in Africa, he wondered whether I could connect him to someone in South Africa (but in particular Lesotho) as he was doing a project about political leadership in that country. As it so happened I knew just the right person there, an ex-MSH colleague very active in engaging young people in ethical political leadership. The connection was made overnight.

The student reps were both HR students (no issue or surprise about female students there (99% of the class is female!). They walked us to the main entrance of the World Peace University where a large shrine dominated the space and the walls were decorated with paintings of India’s freedom fighters as well as the patron saint.

Big business and hill stations

My Indian friends picked me up at the hotel in Navi Mumbai and we set out to the Reliance company’s headquarters. It is not just a headquarter building, as I had imagined, but countless buildings, including two new skyscrapers for start-ups. There is tight security – requiring advance registration, IDs and visitor badges. A comparison suggests that the Reliance office park is about the same acreage (26 acres) as Googleplex. We were received in gleaming, light and airy building I, with it’s 40 meter long koi pool in the five story lobby. Along the walls was the Creation story of Reliance, which was started by the father of the current Chairman and Managing Director, with dealing in spices and then yarn. 

We met with one of Reliance’s VPs to discuss a design event that is to take place in the near future to align some 300+ senior leaders around an ambitious new venture. My friends’ company is in charge of  lining up the crew to pull off this event. They put me on the ticket and figured it would help if the VP had a chance to get to know me up close.

After our very animated meeting the VP took us to the all vegetarian company cafeteria where he tested my ability to handle spicy street food (there is a a highly sanitized street food station, with servers/cooks clad in traditional chef’s garb, including the tall white pleated hats). I liked the snacks but promptly broke out in a coughing fit, to be followed by another after another dish. Both were extinguished with a dish of American ice cream. And so I failed terribly in this department. I can only hope, that, not being hired to eat local food, it will not affect my chances to return to Mumbai early next year on a paid gig.

We left late afternoon for the ride to Pune which is about 120 kilometers and takes 3 hours and change (provided there are not accidents on the road). Halfway we stopped at a roadside food court which had Ronald McDonald sitting unperturbed on a bench at the entrance, not different from anywhere else in the world. Starbucks was there as well as some other US fast food chains, but also the Indian response to Starbucks (a chai chain), where we drank small cups of very sweet masala chai. 

The road took us into the mountains, through tunnels and finally into Pune, also an IT hub that is competing with Hyderabad for second place after Bangalore. I had some idea that this was a small town but it is another Asian megacity (nr 31 on the list of Asian megacities according to data from 2014 and 2015), after Delhi, Mumbai, Hyderabad and Bangalore but before Jaipur and Lucknow.)

My friends live on the eastern side of Pune in what the Brits would call a ‘hill station,’ where they occupy a flat on the second floor of tower 6 of a complex that currently has 8 towers (each 10 floors high) with more under construction.

They have a fairly spacious 3 bed and 3 bathroom flat with a large balcony looking out over the valley where Pune lies with its noise and traffic congestion. Up here I only hear crickets and occasionally dogs and the laughter of children playing in the mostly empty garage on the ground floor.

I could tell there was a grandiose vision for this development (there are sport courts, horse riding facilities, a soccer field, playground, trails further up the mountain, a clubhouse/restaurant with swimming pool and gym. But the occupancy rate is about 20% and 3 BR flats can be rented for less than 300 dollars. Fire sales are happening frequently and most of the shops in the attractive looking shopping center are shuttered, never having been occupied. It looks like this was a giant miscalculation, yet they keep on building the next towers.

Some of the dark flats are owned by NRIs (nonresident Indians) who like to have a piece of Indian real estate. Maybe they too thought it was an investment. Or a weekend place for city folks. I can see why: the nights are cool, the days are pleasantly warm (upper 70s), the air is clean and nature all around. We arrived too late to cook and had dinner in the clubhouse/restaurant higher up the hill, sitting on the terrace with a wonderful view and eating, what else, great Indian food.  I slept like a baby in their comfy guestroom, Today I didn’t do a thing. I am served three home-cooked Indian meals a day, lounged around in my pajamas till 10, read, watched SNL’s NATO cafeteria spoof with my hosts, wished Axel and Sita a safe trip home from Paris, met R’s cousin and husband, had great conversations all through the day and went for an early evening walk under a nearly full moon. What’s not to like.

Fragile

Life for anyone poor, men, women and children, is fragile. As we walked through the recycling section of the Dharavi slums, where we saw only men, we followed the various steps of the plastic recycling business  (plastic gets picked apart and sorted, then pulverized, then washed, then dried and then sold). Pay rises from the first step to the last. I don’t know if there is a career path but I expect many don’t live long enough. Life expectancy is low and sanitary conditions are poor or non-existent. General working condition would not pass the OHSA test: sharp edges as plastic is separated from non plastic material, sound overload from the antiquated cutting machines, fumes, live wires dangling everywhere and sewage sludge underfoot. Protection against those hazards depends entirely on the benevolence of the owner or boss.  

As for kids, I suspect neonatal, infant and under five mortality is high. Hundreds of kids ran barefoot across playfields (rubble-strewn lots) that we’d consider a health hazard.

But women are vulnerable no matter where they were born or to whom they were born. 

One night I watched the local evening news showing crowds of angry women, fists in the air. I guessed they were protesting the slow response of the courts to a series of rapes; a most recent one even making the news on NPR the day before I left: a young vet, in her early 20s, had her moped tires punctured and was raped and then burned by four youngsters. Newspapers are full of reports of rapes and gruesome murders – often perpetrated by people close to the deceased in response to some insult or injustice (perceived or real).  This one caused a media frenzy (like the one some years ago when a young woman was gang raped on a bus), probably because she was ‘one of us,’ that is, the educated elite. This made the crime seem more serious than the 1000s of similar gruesome events that are happening daily in places where the elites never come or never heard of. 

People take justice into their own hands because they are frustrated with the courts. When judicial procedures are cumbersome or courts overloaded (or corrupt or incompetent) and trust in the legal system is low, that’s how justice is done. The four perpetrators of this latest gang rape were shot by the police before they were even indicted. And the crowds cheered.

Not knowing

I am now in the area in Mumbai (New Mumbai) where there are lots of engineers. I gather it is a desirable place to establish headquarters. I can tell from the many 4 and 5 star hotels in the neighborhood. There is less traffic, it’s more open/less crowded than in Mumbai proper. There are shopping malls for, what I imagine, the young and monied educated elites like to have close by. It’s a modern side of Mumbai. Reliance, the big company that appears to have its fingers in countless economic ventures has its corporate HQ here. I am going to have lunch there tomorrow, with my Indian team mates and one of their clients. I am being presented as one of them.

The hotel is not quite the Holiday Inn. It has fewer stars than the international business hotel chains in the area. But it will do for one night, and the price is right. It also has a spa with reasonable prices. I got talked into an immediate massage by the owner of the ‘Pink Door Spa’ who told me excitedly that she is going to start a branch in Manhattan (there are relatives to implement this ambition).

She recommended I wait with dinner (not good to be massaged on a full stomach), and  talked me into a 60 minute Lomi-Lomi massage. Lomi-Lomi would relieve my tension and bad feelings. How did she know about my bad feelings about the motor cycle tour operator I wondered, and then handed over my credit card. I got an immediate 15% off, without asking. I think Mondays maybe slow days.

I can’t tell one massage apart from another, and sometimes wonder whether the masseuses can either, as the massages all seem rather similar. Except, that is, for the one where one is bathed in at least 2 liters of oil or have a slow drip-drip of oil on one’s forehead. 

After my massage and the recommended glass of water and cup of green tea (“you will feel hungry by then!”) and not knowing the neighborhood, I opted for an in-house dinner. In a fit of ‘I earned this’ I ordered a cocktail, the only one without syrup or sugar. It was served in a skull shaped glass (or is it a dog?) with a rusty screw cap and a paper straw through a hole in the cap. It tasted like really bad medicine. I did not earn that, but by now I had spent my alcohol money.

The hotel’s main dining room’s claim to fame is fish and is named accordingly: “Something Fishy.” But there was nothing fishy about the restaurant. I had my best meal yet: two giant tandoori baked prawns and a garlic naan that did its name honor. I think I am going to be sweating garlic from all my pores for days.

When I walked into the restaurant the waiter to guest ratio was about 10 (waiters) to 2 (guest, myself included). After a while more guests came in, and more waiters too. I settled into a warm corner in the over-cooled dining room. From my corner perch I had a good view of the comings and goings of waiters and staff. 

Decades ago, with an MSH colleague, since deceased, we played a game in a restaurant in Lesotho: spinning yarns about the other guests. We giggled until we were red in the face. I had so much fun spinning these yarns, partially because I was taught to never to judge people on their appearance – which is of course what we did, unapologetically. It felt rather naughty and irreverent.  Although it is more fun to do this with someone else it’s still a great pastime when dining alone. On my right was a dour looking German or Swiss guy (an engineer no doubt) who washed down his meal with only one beer (Swiss then?), hardly ever looking up from his smart phone. No desert. Then entered a group of 4 middle-aged paunchy Indians and one young Anglo-Saxon. Everyone drank whisky on ice, except the young man who drank German beer; once I heard him speak I settled on the Saxon part – a German engineer, just out of school (although when he smiled he looked older, maybe 35). 

I made him to be on his first trip to India, and watched how he related to his Indian table mates. At first, he was quiet but after two beers he was gesticulating wildly with his hands. I imagined he was telling what the Indian engineers needed to do to solve a sticky engineering problem. The Indians watched him politely, smiled now and then and stirred the ice cubes in their whiskeys. They were going to pay the bill, and they were here forever (unless they were going to emigrate to the US).

Watching the imagined drama being played out at this table reminded me of one of my many sins – talking too much about what I (thought I) knew to be true.  I did not always read the signs of polite listening very well. I know a bit more now (I’d like to think). Although I will be presented as a wise expert coming from far away (some of it true), I will have to walk a fine line between the wise, the expert and the novice (on India certainly) . I brought Ed Schein’s Humble Inquiry to remind me about curiosity and not knowing.


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