An ambulance will take Axel tomorrow to Shaughnessy-Kaplan Rehabilitation Hospital in Salem. We are thrilled to have him closer by and starting this new phase in his recovery. He called me with the good news and was in great spirits. He did more sitting and standing up today and obviously did well enough to make this decision. Stay tuned.
Archive Page 281
Last night I went to bed at 8 PM ‘in pieces.’ The VNA nurse had already told me that my body is still in shock and I think last night it went ‘out of shock’ for a moment. Every cell, bone and muscle hurt and I preferred to get back to the ‘in shock’ state. I think I said something like ‘I feel like I have been in a wreck.’ Thanks to chemicals for better living I fell into a long dopey sleep. It stopped the pain and the tears.
I feel better now. They aches continue of course but they are manageable even though I am at the end of my dopey night.
Yesterday I finished my first book since the accident (Stormy Weather by Carl Hiaasen) that Ann Buxbaum brought me early last week. I remember seeing the size of the book and thinking I could never finish a book like that. But I did and it was just the right book. In the meantime Sita’s friend Jenny who is an editor sent me a stack of her books and I am enjoying the anticipation of my next good read.
As you have already seen in earlier writings, small things have become huge accomplishments, paying bills, renewing the car registration online, transferring car insurance from us (not going to be driving for some time) to our daughters and sons-in law, etc. all these are reasons for celebration (who’d have thunk).
I am pecking away at the food that is still flooding in and am now helped by a few hungry young folks who are working hard on my comfort and deserve good meals. I am thrilled that Birgit’s recipe for Gazpacho from Beirut that appeared in the guest book has been transformed into real gazpacho by Diane and was dropped off yesterday afternoon.
I also had my first experience of Jewish comfort food: Kugel and Matzoh ball soup (AS Ann Lassman wrote us ‘better than WASP comfort food like fluffernutter.’) I totally agree, it was just what the doctor prescribed. We are trying to get some to Axel.
I talked many time to Axel yesterday and he had a good day except at the end when the physical therapist tried to stand him up. That was painful and discouraging and a clear indication of the next challenge for him. These talks buoy me but also make me miss him terribly.
Thanks to all of you who visited Axel and who got a peek at the reality of his current condition. It will help see the progress later on.
Joe Sterling arrived in the middle of the night from San Diego, which means we have a new caretaker on our team. As always, Sita and Tessa and their wonderful men are making up a thousandfold for the trials and tribulations of their teenage years. Pay back accomplished, enough already! I am so totally awed by them.
A request to my Dutch readers:
ik drink liters zoethout thee (koud) per dag en krijg zo genoeg water naar binnen, maar de zoethout thee zakjes zijn bijna op. Kan iemand ons wat (AH) zoethout thee opsturen? het is hier niet makkelijk te krijgen.
En de Texelse schapen voeten creme die ik indertijd met Sietske op de geitenboerderij in het Amsterdamse Bos kocht wordt dagelijks gebruikt voor Axel’s voeten en is nu ook bijna op. Voordat Tessa zoekt naar iets soortgelijks hier, laat even horen of iemand dit kan opsturen.
Onwards, forward, where else?
s
As a Lobster Cove houseguest I have been promoted to journal co-author (I’ll hand off the baton to the next houseguest that arrives).
Most of my entries will be about RELIEF. It’s not entirely clear whose relief these will be about – Axel’s, Sylvia’s, Sita’s, Tessa’s, or mine. In any case, I’m beginning to get what being a “relief worker” means. I, for one, feel better already!
7/26 – I arrived after a trans-continental flight about 2AM (7/27). Sita, who was busily transforming the barn for she and Jim to occupy while caring for dear ‘ole mum and dad, greeted me. Hmmm…“Little House on the Cove” I thought. How practical, how natural, and…wait a minute…does Axel know is complete collection of Wired magazines (ALL issues save one) has been moved? Oy…and what about those papers from 1978… you know, the ones intermingled with those papers from 2005 and the drink coasters from that great South African bar?
Relief #1 – Sita looked well, no worse for the wear of the first 10 long care-giving days. Upon arrival, I was graciously fed and then shown straight into the well-feathered healing nest that was once Sylvia’s office. And, there, in the dim light, was a sleepy and characteristically welcoming Sylvia.
It is Thursday morning. I know this because nurse Sita faithfully changes my ‘headboard’ – the flipchart that indicates my care takers: RN = Sita, PCA=Tessa and still MD=Dr. Potato. My faithful team. There were others yesterday: Sook spent a good chunk of the day with me, bringing a delicious lunch. We went on a fieldtrip as Sita already indicated: an exploration of the two wheelchair accessible showers in our two neighbors’ houses. You might think that for someone like me that would be a boring or insignificant trip. To the contrary! Sook and I had a very nice time with the Kneissels and I am looking forward to my first real shower at Jackie Hooper’s or the Kneissel’s today. Thanks so much.
More food showed up with Carol and Suzie and we started eating some of the harvest goodies Mary Scofield left by the door the other day.
Un update on the garden indicated that the squash is growing quite large and little pattypan squash looks like a flying saucer. Other than some minor weeding, Sook says the garden looks great. Remember to swing by and pick some lettuce or spinach or whatnot.
I was relieved to get good news from Axel yesterday. We talked a few times. And maybe it was this relief with the overwhelming outpouring of love, support, meals that made the tears come more than once yesterday. They just begin to flow. Sita and I sat, holding hands, no words needed.
Our experimentation with the pain medecine appears to be working. I had a more or less painless night and could manage with the Oxycontin only, not needing the percoset to get through some rough spots, of course I felt very drugged, which is OK at night.
I had a long conversation with Joan, yesterday morning, urging her or her kids or Morsi to update the journal as well about her status. All it requires is to sign into the site as an author and use my last name as a password. Alison, I know you visited her recently, maybe you can say a few words about her progress and her state of mind. There are plenty of people checking into this site daily who know her as well.
Today’s highlights are Joe’s arrival from San Diego, progress reports, hopefully, from Worcester and more fading of the bruises on my body.
cheers
s
Today was another great day with dad. He started off his day with an MRI at 2am that apparently went really well (he again slept soundly up until that point). He was not freaked out or anxious or uncomfortable which is great. then in the early morning hours he was told he would be going down for surgery soon, but he was told quickly after that, that he had been bumped to second place as there was an emergency with a child who needed surgery. he was totally fine with this and was quickly occupied by the psych team who spent a good amount of time interviewing him and talking to him about his experiences in the hospital and his meds. dad seemed very happy about this, asking lots of questions and giving some great axel answers. it was quite interesting and entertaining to listen in. around 12 we were brought down to the OR for his surgery (the metal pin put into his humorous to help set the bone), by 1pm he was wheeled into the anesthesiologist, and i think around 2pm they began the surgery. at 4pm he was in post-op recovery and at 5pm steve and i got a phonecall in his room saying he was asking if we were around and that he would be up in an hour. 3 hours after that he finally rolled back into his ‘own private nook’ (tubes back in but only temporarily) in great spirits and looking good. his arm is in a sling but looks quite a bit more comfortable than before. So he’s in good spirits, one giant step closer to getting home (discussion about post-hospital arrangements and his MRI first, and some issues to straighten out with his vision still, then onto the active rehab fun). so things are feeling good and moving along (his scar on his forehead is really healing amazingly). oh yeah and sita told me to say that mom got a tour of two showering facilities one on either side of our house at Jackie Hoopers and at the Kneisel household as well, which is quite exciting.
If anyone is available to visit Axel in the hospital tomorrow please do – Tessa and I are going to be in Manchester taking care of a million things that need to get done (for ourselves and our parents) and he’s very excited to see some other familiar faces. Andrew is planning on being there at around 11, and Woody will show up sometime after lunch , then Carol Williams will be there after work until she gets kicked out, but if you’re available, and willing, and have some amusing radio or audiobook to while away time during the drive, do stop by and see him. He knows his daughters won’t be there, and is really excited to have visitors. He may be tired, he may sleep while you are there, but having someone by his side through waking and sleeping hours is very important. There is also the added bonus of the smoothies – Tessa is leaving her ‘snack cart’ there so if you feel adventurous and/or don’t want to see Axel ingest the toe paste that is the hospital food, you can make him (and yourself) a smoothie! Send me an email if you have any questions –
sita@klompje.com
s.
It is Wednesday morning. What happened to the speed of days? They used to go so fast and now all has slowed down. The slowing down started that fateful afternoon at Gardner airport now 10 days ago. Although some of the details are still eluding me – or rather I can’t understand them – when I tried to pull up again, knowing that I was running out of runway, I remember clearly the moment of losing control of the plane. But there was no panic or frantic trying to save the day that followed, but rather a total quiet and a sense of complete surrender. Of course it couldn’t have been quiet with the stall horn beeping, and the motor running louder and faster as we headed down, the branches breaking and all that. Fortunately, after the surrender I blacked out and cannot remember a thing, no sound, no falling, no bump. I think I woke up after Joan. From the WBZ news clip I learned that a woman held Joan’s hand and talked with her. I think I was still out then as I do no remember this.
When I came to my senses the rescuers were already there. I just remember seeing boots everywhere, people directing efforts, big loud machines cutting things away that kept us entrapped and throughout Axel’s and Joan’s calls for help. Through my dazed state I remember registering that this meant they were alive. In the background, through the forest of legs, machinery and plane wreckage, I could see Morsi, busy pushing large amounts of love and prayers our way and I remember absorbing it, his presence so reassuring.
I still can’t write about the botched landing itself, other than that the landing conditions (runway heading and wind) had changed after my previous three successful landings. I tried to apply what I had learned and practiced for so long. But the time for decision making is infinitely short as the evaluation of options has to happen in nanoseconds – this is where experience comes in of course. I am now one experience ‘richer’ that will definitely make me a better pilot. Of that I am sure, bought at a heavy price, but there it is.
So, I am going to get back in a plane as soon as I can. I don’t expect anyone to want to fly with me anymore. And for those, like Alison, who have said they’d fly again with me (I am very moved by this), make sure you have health insurance, otherwise I counsel you to stay on the ground. I am thanking my lucky stars (again and again) for being employed and insured. It will make the recovery so much easier.
What a great day with Dad!!! things to be straightened out with the meds and he is doing well. His surgery is back on for tomorrow sometime in the morning (he asks that everyone hold him in the light) which is great. He unfortunately has to have an MRI at 2:00 am which he is not looking forward to (his first MRI was not a fun experience due to some crazy hallucinations), but seems to be much less freaked out about it than he was when he heard the idea yesterday. He was busy all day… occupational therapy for his hand, a great visit with Gary, a long visit with mom and Sita, 2 chapters in the new Harry Potter, more smoothies, and a bunch of great phone calls as well that really made him incredibly happy.
Thanks to everyone for all the Love and support, Dad was getting weepy (but joyful and grateful weepy) for all of the Love that has been surrounding him. He says he feels it all, and would not be doing well if he didn’t know he had so many people rooting for him.
Early morning, another entry about the same day but now seen from Lobster Cove. The Reiki, prayers, love you are all sending (as well as the food) are working their magic.
I am reading Sita’s and Tessa’s entries about the 23rd as well and they make me cry. The tears are beginning to come more frequently now – it is as if they were dried up or sitting in shock in some part of my body that could not figure out how to release them.
Sita’s fast exit to Worcester yesterday morning was of course very distressing. But Anne Dodge seamlessly took over and we had a pretty good day. The Visiting Nurse Association network folks showed up, first Regina, a wonderful intake nurse who pointed out some other main management options, and put in a request from a home health aid to releave Sita a couple of times a week. Then Robert the physical therapist. PT can’t do much now with me as long as I have to keep my weight off my right leg and my right shoulder is still hurting. I am alternating wheelchair and walker day by day to let the right upper part of my body heal. Right now I have all the colors of the rainbow going from my right hip to my right elbow, right chest.
For the first time my right foot is hurting against the cast. It feels like raw/sore/tender skin being grinded into hard plaster. Of course I can’t move anything inside the cast and when the pain medication isn’t doing its work I try the breathing exercises I learned in yoga a long time ago. This has served me well throughout the ordeal, from the moment I opened my eyes at the crash site and anytime the pain takes over my whole consciousness.
Two more angels, Debbie Hinds and Edith Maxwell, walked in with meals yesterday and it required the eye of a puzzler to fit everything into the refrigerator. Edith stayed with Anne and me for dinner and we watched the Corporate Trainer episode from the (British) Office, an episode the Buxbaums introduced me to years ago and which I have watched countless time ever since. It was fun to watch it with Anne who is also a trainer. Anne also brought a 500 piece puzzle and we completed the edges before I collapsed from tiredness. For me puzzles have always been associated with wintersport vacations in the mountains (in the US or Europe as child) and only the crackling fire was missing.
Sita returned home around 11 PM, exhausted but in good spirits as you can read from her update on Axel. We are off today to Worcester, a long trip I am dreading a bit but a reunion I am very much looking forward to.
More later
Cheers
s
Dad had a tough day at the hospital (starting early early in the morning). His surgery was postponed (as mom already wrote) until he has another MRI and the neurological team figures out some medication and/or injury issues. Sita, Steve and I were there today (Sita drove out because I was having a tough time seeing dad so uncomfortable and confused). He had visits from the neurological and psychology crews, and later on in the day Steve went with him down to get a CT scan. By afternoon he woke up from an intense and restless sleep, we began to sort out some things with him and talk some of his wild and crazy dreams, he now understands they were not real, but is trying to sort out why and how they felt so real. We managed to keep him awake and hopefully entertained by eating some more smoothies (I tried to make some Gazpacho with the Magic Bullet blender today but definitely need to tweak the recipe), watched some tv and just talked. He was back to his regular condition (talking, joking around and just being Axel) by around 2:30 or 3 in the afternoon which was a huge relief.
Some awesome news today that dad was very excited about… he’s now officially a hospital pirate, he got an eyepatch today that is pretty cool (to help with some double vision problems…ooh that double vision).
Please keep holding dad in the light, especially at nights (his ‘witching hour’ as he calls it is from 12pm-6 or 7am, when he wakes up disoriented and confused and I think sometimes half in dreamland and half in reality). He was snoring soundly when i left (thank goodness he still doesn’t have a roommate), and looked to be actually resting.
I’m sure there is more I missed… it was a tough day but things seem to be back on track, hopefully the night is going smoothly (he’s got an awesome team looking after him tonight).
signing off for tonight
-tessa
Sylvia's Journal 
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