Sylvia's Journal

Over the years it seemed that more and more people have woken up to the dangers we have been creating for ourselves: the toxins in our wheat and fields, the processed food, the pollution of water and air, the increasing number of traumatized people, toxic leadership responsible for so many geopolitical catastrophes in the world.  There appeared to be a recognition that we can no longer solve our problems by thinking only of our ourselves, our needs, wishes and wants, because whenever we did, our solutions simply created more problems (mostly for others). Our interdependencies are now more obvious than ever before.

And so, I thought we were finally on a path to planetary peace. I have seen the momentum built up over the past decades (actually, since the end of WWII).  So many individuals and groups were recognizing that not doing anything was no longer an option, and then set to work with others to pursue this path, buoyed by the limitless energy and idealism of younger people. And then Putin made the U-turn. It wasn’t sudden by any means, he had been moving over to the inner lane for a long time, but there it was, bombs and all. Instead of planetary peace we now have planetary inflammation. 

I keep thinking of Mr. Rogers’ ‘look for the helpers.’ For any of the world’s catastrophes (whether self-generated or befalling us) I see an overwhelming positive response. Whether it is food or geopolitical conflict, there are more people standing up for the voiceless, and recognizing our responsibilities towards the 7^thgeneration than those who seem determined to erase the prospects of a livable future for all.

For two years now we have been trying to consummate a home exchange with a couple from Turku, Finland.  Last week they wrote to us asking whether we would cancel (once again) our exchange, fearing to travel to Finland, the country with an 800+ mile border with Russia. Other exchangers, from Colorado, had already canceled, and they were wondering about us. “Not unless WWIII breaks out,” we decided. Finland is of course a special case. It was exactly 82 years ago that the Finns learned it could not count on anything as close to a united Europe we see now. On March 12, 1940, they signed an unfavorable treaty with their big and powerful neighbor that included ceding a part of their land (Karelia) and allow the construction of a Soviet naval base on the Hanko Peninsula.

We went ahead and bought our tickets to Helsinki for June, counting on wisdom and altruism to prevail in the world. 

About three decades ago, the UN’s High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) launched an advocacy campaign that included large posters with the faces of famous people. I had one on my wall with the iconic image of Einstein, and underneath the words “Einstein was a refugee.” But at that time the plight of refugees was a rather abstract idea for me. I didn’t know any people who had had to leave their home and everything behind for well-founded fears.

After the Taliban took over the government (if that’s what one could call it) in Afghanistan, the idea has taken on human proportions. In June or July last year a senior official in the Afghan government had contacted me, desperate to get out and needing help to do so.

I had gotten in touch with group of committees lawyers working with a prominent law firm in DC who were working (pro bono) on the application for Humanitarian Parole for him and his family. They had reason to fear the Taliban. I was pessimistic about their chances, due to the sheer number of applicants for this kind of visa and its limitations once in the US. Besides, he had not been able to leave the country and was essentially on the run, not being able to live with his family. I had been in communication with him since last June following the harrowing story.

A few days ago I received a surprising message via WhatsApp that this family got out of the US queue and made it safely to the UK, thanks to a connection to someone high in the British Defense hierarchy. The Brits can rejoice as this family will enrich them. In the US we have lost out. The political rhetoric has led to a common narrative that portrays refugees as a burden. In this narrative refugees are not just seen as a burden but treated as one, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

About a decade ago my brother introduced me to Omar, a young Dutch/Afghan man, while I was visiting my family in the Netherlands. At the age of 7 he had arrived in the Netherlands in the early 90s as part of a previous stream of refugees from Afghanistan. Now in his mid-thirties he has become a partner in a prestigious law firm and a full law professor at one of Dutch top law universities. He has found a way to enrich the Dutch and be enriched by them. He also pays taxes, probably quite a bit. If you can read Dutch, here is the interview with him.

Refugees make us better, improve the gene pool, contribute to society, and teach us about diversity. They always have. Diversity, as we know from nature, improves rather than decreases our chances of survival. Refugees also teach us about things we admire here in the US: courage, perseverance, resilience and faith. They have leapt from the edge, something that most of us never have to do. We ought to improve their chances of a safe landing rather than pulling away the safety net and then scold them for being a burden.  I am grateful to the many people and organizations that hold the safety net in place for the Afghans that made it here. We should consider ourselves lucky to have them.

I have embarked on a team coaching journey and completed the first part of a 15-month team coaching training program. This first part was mostly about theory, models, and frameworks, with a few assessments thrown in. The next part will be practice with a real team. I am a little nervous about this. Who wants to be a guinea pig? 

I work with two young organizations that I think would benefit from team coaching. The question is will they trust me to refine my skills with them? I’m planting some seeds for that right now. In both cases I see so much potential if the people could pull together and head in the same direction knowing that everyone’s perspective has been heard and considered, and the best ideas acted upon.

One is not a team, but rather a group of individuals who are bound by some contractual deliverables that has placed them in two separate boats rowing towards two different finish lines. One finish line is in sight, the other a few years out. I believe that if they were a team, given the talent that is on board, they could achieve amazing things, far beyond their immediate deliverables. The other needs cash to pay their bills and this creates another dynamic that may get in the way of realizing their potential.

Although I have worked with many teams over the years, doing team building, facilitating planning workshops and celebrating achievements, team coaching is a different animal. From everything I’m learning it is not an easy transition from individual coach team coach. But it feels like a right transition for me. When I first embarked on my individual coaching career, I wasn’t sure I would like it because I’ve always liked working with groups more so than with individuals.

Team coaching is done by two coaches, something I have never done. That feels like a double challenge: coaching the team and dancing with a partner all at the same time. I remember when I was learning to dance the salsa, I was so preoccupied with the mechanics of the dance that I paid no attention to my partner. When I was a rookie facilitator, I was so preoccupied with the process of facilitation that I paid little attention to the people I was facilitating. The same happened with individual coaching: you learn the mechanics, the steps, the process first until you have made them your own before you can truly and authentically engage with the people you are helping (or dancing with). I trust this will happen again in my new career as a team coach.

Yesterday a report was due for one of my clients. Axel heard me struggling with the voice control app. When I acted out my frustration verbally my voice control app typed everything neatly in the client report. I then needed to go back and remove all this language that has no place in a report to a client.

Although I cannot complain about my current handicap as it is quite mild compared to challenges other people are dealing with, I am counting the days for the cast to be removed. It’s funny how, when everything is going well, the days seem to go by so fast. But now, in my encumbered state, I’m waiting for the next two weeks to pass quickly, the days pass in slow motion. On January 27 another x-ray will be made to see if the bones have healed. If they have, I will be liberated me from the cast. If the bones have not healed enough, I’ll simply have to be patient. 

I’m getting used to work out on my spinning bike [a gift for my 70^th] with cast and all. It is a bit tedious and uncomfortable but doable. I am trying to keep up the routine of 30 minutes of spinning three times a week. I must drop Pilates and yoga for a while because there’s too much hand and wrist work. Luckily, I can continue our weekly tai chi classes. So, this will be my exercise regime probably for the next month or so.

I am sitting here in the presence of a large carboy that is busy with yeast chemistry, making loud blub-blub sounds, for days now. It is the yeast in the proto beer that is doing its work. Axel has been resuming his beer making, after a dormant period of several months. One batch is laagering in the cellar while the new batch is transforming the yeast. He makes very good beer. It would’ve made my father proud.

My right (and writing) hand is now in a cast. Only two of my five fingers are encased. My thumb index finger and middle finger are free. It makes for awkward writing. The cast around my two fingers, which sticks out beyond my index finger, inserts all sorts of letters and spaces that I don’t want. I started researching voice typing. It takes a little bit of practice to make a comma not sound as call Ma. But it’s easier on my hand than typing.

We had a winter storm last Friday, which explains the crowded hallway, the boots, jackets, and gloves, plus a sheet to dry off the dogs, the setting of my fall. We had nearly half a meter of snow, but now most of it is gone, and the temperature went from -0 back to spring weather in a couple of days. I don’t recall seeing such extreme variation in temperatures from one day to another. I told my typing assistant to write ‘climate change!’ Instead, it wrote: Time to change! That’s true too. What shall we change this year in our energy consumption and waste production, aside from changing out some of the climate change deniers this fall in our Congress and Senate?