Sylvia's Journal

Overnight I turned into a full-time nurse when Axel returned home after 4 nights in the hospital where the laminectomy was performed. He was sent home with a very complex pill routine to manage his pain (on top of his regular pills). I tried several spread sheet arrangements to get the pill administration right, but whenever one dose was given later or earlier, it upset the whole applecart and I had to change everything. Eventually I used a paper and pencil log that I kept next to my bed. Penciled in were the times when the next pills were due which I then traced in ink to indicated they had been administered, or erased when things did not go according to the plan. It was the best I could come up with, a kludgy arrangement in handwriting Axel could not read. Axel preferred another system. We nearly came to a fight over it. Our minds work differently. But it was clear to both of us that I would set the alarm for midnight, 2AM, 4AM, 6AM to wake myself up first and then the patient. During this time, I would administer the pill(s), empty the urinal and fill up his cup with water. This made for several sleepless nights. I thought of night nurses who at least go home after their shift and catch up on sleep. I was on 7/24.

Thanksgiving was as low key as it could get. We told everyone to stay away. I did roast the turkey because I thought it should be cooked after sitting in brine for three days. It was a brine mixture of salt, sriracha, mustard and buttermilk (who made this up?). I also baked two pumpkin pies because the pumpkins I had bought some time ago had started to rot. And so, our Thanksgiving à deux consisted of a few tiny pieces of turkey, a spoonful of mashed some potatoes and a few dollops of apple sauce to complete the main course. For dessert Axel ate a tiny slice of pumpkin pie while I served myself a large piece with whipped cream for just rewards. Axel’s appetite was nowhere near his usual appetite (especially for a traditional thanksgiving meal). We may have been the only two people who did not feel bloated after this traditional overabundant meal.  Tessa showed up the next day and cooked us a slightly more elaborate Thanksgiving meal, even though that one was still a shadow of what it should have been with all of us sitting around the table. Now we upgraded to a Thanksgiving à trois. We held hands this time.

We explained our pill administration challenge and Tessa suggested an app. Of course, why had I not thought of that. From the many offerings we selected the one with the most and highest ratings (Medisafe). Not only does it keep track of all meds (dosage and time), but changes are also easily accommodated. You can add a traditional alarm sound, or, if you prefer, a voice from a famous personality such as Obama or Hillary, or, if you so desire, Trump, as well as voices from famous movies, radio, and TV characters. Now I can monitor his meds from my phone while he manages his pills on his own phone. As a result of this I no longer need to wake myself and can, in principle, sleep uninterrupted. It doesn’t entirely work out like that because there is still (his) alarm and lights go on, etc. But I feel more rested.

The supply of opiates (Oxycodone) is rapidly dwindling to be gone (at this rate) exactly 2 weeks after the operation. Most people say that at that point acetaminophen will do. But what operation are they talking about? This is not a knee or hip replacement. He has a gigantic scar on his back, and the thick muscles under it all had to be pushed or jostled (?) out of the way to get to his vertebrae. Everything there is severely traumatized. It is hard to imagine that the pain will be more manageable in four days, but I hope it will be, so that he too can have a real night sleep.