Sylvia's Journal

I used to move a lot in my sleep, right shoulder, left shoulder, arms up and over, down, etc. But now I mostly sleep on my back with occasional pillow supported attempts to sleep on my right or left side. The wound on my right wrist is scabbed over but very tender and limits the ways I can position my hand. And then there is the stiffness and limited range of motion in neck and right upper arm. This makes going to bed not all that much fun. Axel is even more limited. He has a 30% wedge under his shoulders and head and has to be positioned just so with pillows around him that he is properly supported as he sleeps without his turtle shell/body brace. His left hand and lower arm in is a specially-casted brace to keep his hand form becoming a claw as his radial nerve is still regenerating. A bedsore type of wound at his left elbow requires another pillow arrangement. His legs are up on pillows as well to keep him from sliding down the incline. Compared to him I can move a lot. So try to picture this. Not very romantic. I can hardly reach him over all the pillows. But we go to bed when the kids tell us to; they tuck us in and then have the house to themselves. A total reversal of our nightly routine some 20 years ago.

Some good news is that Axel can now move his left fingers in ways he could not a day ago. He was demonstrating to the visiting nurse what he could not do when he discovered he could move his fingers a bit. This was such a surprise that he could not believe it at first. Clearly, the nerve is regenerating.

Sunday morning Chris made us blueberry pancakes and Tessa slept in. Our neighbor Ted has taken over the yard work and is keeping our lawns and himself trim. Late in the morning Fatou showed up with another fabulous West African meal, this time in a quantity that seemed minute to her but was just right for us. Many of the visitors who showed up in the afternoon ended up sampling her dish which got the highest ratings of any food brought us so far. And while she was with us she showed another one of her talents and gave Axel a haircut, with Chris, Tessa and myself sitting around Axel and cheering her on to cut off more and more. He no longer has that half shaven half long-haired hairdo which gave him away as a crash victim, although Axel has not quite gotten used to his new style. We think he looks great and actually looks a bit like his cousin Phil (the New York Phil). After the haircut Tessa learned the ins and out of doing the shower routine, which is quite tricky because of the brace.

All this excitement had tired Axel so he took a nap in the downstairs bedroom while the house filled up with gardeners, cooks and visitors. Ann Lasman and Sook arrived for a harvesting/cooking trip and harvested whatever was ready in our garden and transformed this harvest into a 3 course meal: zucchini curry soup, salad, potatoes, spinach which we complemented with the leftovers from Fatou’s meal.

Amy-Simone and her son Mohammed brought Dutch cheese straight from the mother country and Mohammed fed carrots from the garden to Tessa’s bunny until he realized that these carrots were pretty good to eat himself. Amy-Simone helped me out with some challenging parts of the puzzle but it turned out doing this with a 2-year old at large was even more challenging. Then Sita and Jim returned from out West and the general commotion woke Axel up.

It was a day that was filled with friends around us. That in itself is not unusual. What was unusual is that we were expected to be simply there, being served, soaking up all that was offered to us, by Chris, by Fatou, by Ann and Sook, by Amy-Simone, by Ted and by our children. We were not running in and out of the house, multi-tasking, taking care of others: they were taking care of us. It is still something we are trying to get used to but it left us feeling so grateful.

Slowly people began to leave, with Fatou, Ann and Sook returning to their homes, Amy-Simone off to visit Joan and Morsi and Chris returning to DC. After that it got very still. Axel and I sat quietly looking out over the cove having our pretend beers, while Tessa and Sita and Jim took care of their own things. For Sita that meant a long soak in various herbal concoctions while listening to the closing chapters of Harry Potter. In the evening we all watched Cold Case on TV, followed by the now familiar bedtime ritual supervised by nurse Tessa.

Remember our party of Thanksgiving next Sunday, from noon on!