Sylvia's Journal

S. has arrived in the US after languishing for 13 months in a center in Abu Dhabi. When the Taliban stormed Kabul, and with that took control of Afghanistan, S. was one of hundreds of thousands who desperately wanted to get out. Attempts to be evacuated by the Dutch military with her older sister, who carries a Dutch passport and happened to be in Kabul at that time, failed twice for both. The third attempt got her sister back to Holland, but S. was not able to make it through a sewage ditch into the airport and went home. I heard all that from her sister. Left to her own devices after that she jumped on the first opportunity to get out and landed in Au Dhabi. Little did she know how long she would stay there. Her brother also got out and went straight to the US and lived at a military based for months. These three siblings that we had gotten to know when we lived in Kabul, had rolled out over the earth like drops of mercury.

We had indicated early on that we would sponsor S. to come to the US. It was an opaque process that was never clarified despite emails, letters and phone calls to US officials in Abu Dhabi. I learned quickly that the center’s adjective (‘humanitarian’) was misplaced. It was more of a detention center. There were those inside and those outside, but no chance to mingle. We stayed in touch via WhatsApp and Botim (Abu Dhabi doesn’t allow phone calls via WhatsApp). I was able to get two friends in Dubai to drop off things she needed. Other than that, there was nothing I could do to get her out. I had even imagined flying there but I would not have been allowed in. 

The horizon of hope (to get out of there) moved from month to month. The first 2 months in that place seemed like an eternity, then 3 months more, then half a year. Finally, after 13 months, without much notice, she was put on a plane to NYC and from there to DC. She lost her iPad, because it had run out of juice during the long trip and nobody told her that electronic devices that cannot be turned on are confiscated. Welcome to the US! I assume she was welcomed by IRC who has taken her under its care (up your annual donation to them!). She was assigned an overworked caseworker, an Afghan woman, received a Smart card and some money ($300), and dropped off at her brother’s apartment in Silver Spring. His resettlement had gone so much faster than hers. All of this was a big surprise to me. Nothing for 13 months and then suddenly, she’s here. 

She is getting her footing in the US. My network has mobilized many more networks and the universe is raining gifts on her: free career counseling and job search advice from a dear friend, a good as new computer from our neighbor. Another friend took her to the library to get a card and an explanation of DC metro’s public transport system. Not that it makes the stress go away of solving major problems like housing and getting an income, but knowing that there are many good people helps in this bewildering experience of America. It is hard to imagine her journey since mid August 2021. I think of Mr. Rogers famous quote, “look for the helpers.’ They re everywhere!

I am not taking the place of her mother, but we have adopted each other as another mother-daughter pair. She sent me a picture of herself, radiant in a local gym that is run by the municipality and that allows her to get out of the cramped apartment (3 adults and 3 children in 2 rooms). Today she attends a workshop on finding a job. I admire her mettle.