Sylvia's Journal

We are thinking and talking a lot about love these day. And now I need Wikipedia to come to the rescue because English is a poor language with respect to this word. The Greeks were better to articulate the kind of love we are talking about and distinguish it from other varieties.

‘Agape is one of several Greek words translated into English as love. The word has been used in different ways by a variety of contemporary and ancient sources, including Biblical authors. Many have thought that this word represents divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing, active, volitional, and thoughtful love. Greek philosophers at the time of Plato and other ancient authors have used forms of the word to denote love of a spouse or family, or affection for a particular activity, in contrast to philia—an affection that could denote either brotherhood or generally non-sexual affection, and eros, an affection of a sexual nature, usually between two unequal partners. The term agape is rarely used in ancient manuscripts, but was used by the early Christians to refer to the self-sacrificing love of God for humanity, which they were committed to reciprocating and practicing towards God and among one another.’ (Wikipedia)

I asked Axel, after we were put to bed by Sita and Tessa, whether he felt loved (in the above sense) and he said yes, he did. I asked him whether he had been able to absorb all this love that came his/our way. This led to more talk about emotions, his, others’ and how to deal with them. Some people we saw yesterday cannot yet talk with us or look us in the eye without crying. It is easier to deal with this one on one, we simply cry back and the tears come automatically, from something deep inside that is touched, which takes us back to this particular notion of love. God is somewhere in that equation.

But sometimes the emotions come up in a group conversation and it is of a different nature, more shallow (but no less authentic or genuine) and people talk about the miracle of our survival and how glad they are we are still alive. (I typed alove instead of alive – funny how the fingers sometimes bypass the control of the mind). And that is when the response is more difficult, more measured, the mind takes over and this other life force that comes from somewhere else and brings the tears is temporarily disabled. Our language does not help us now. We call it rational. Daniel Goleman talks about the absence of emotional intelligence. We are handicapped and the word agape temporarily disappears from our internal dictionary. We stumble as we respond, awkward, feeling too rational, and the conversation moves on. Something has betrayed us; we’re a little less whole. Axel said, “it is not a switch I can turn on or off.” Gaining or regaining this capacity to respond whole is part of our healing challenge. By talking about it we are working on it.

Yesterday was a triumph. A triumph of the power of networks and a testimony to our collective ingenuity. This includes the bodies of Axel, Joan and myself which have healed beyond recognition (I lost my last scab yesterday) but also the cooking and organizational skills of many of our dearest friends. For all of you who came to Lobster Cove, thank you. It was a magical event. For all of you who called on the phone or who wrote to us, thank you for being there in spirit. I am sorry we were not able to connect with the thanksgiving party that took place on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean in Dinant in Bretagne where mussels and wine were sacrified in honor of our well being. We had to use our imagination rather than a webcam to imagine our friends there, but we managed fine without the electronics. It was finally the biting flies that chased us inside and brought an end to the day long party, at least for the older crowd. The younger crowd stayed on the beach around a campfire which we could faintly smell through our open window as we drifted asleep.