Sylvia's Journal

How different everything (EVERYTHING) is on the other end of the withdrawal tunnel. I think I have emerged and had a wonderful pain free and comfortable day. If it wasn’t for my cast and the tenderness of the belly stitches I could have fooled myself about the crash and believed that it was all a bad dream.

One of the interesting side effects of being without pain, I discovered, is that my horizon leaps far away into the future. The length of our recovery path, from my current vantage point, looks endless, and disappears over a horizon that is covered in snow. Being without pain also freed my mind to wander and I fantasize about us being our ‘old and healthy’ selves, scampering up and down the yard to the cove, in and out of the water, the kayaks, drinking a martini as the sun sets behind the Putnam trees and snuggling up to each other at night. I know the doctors say all this will come back, but right now it feels like a big loss (beads on the regrets necklace).

Axel spent the first half of his first day at Lobster Cove by sleeping in till noon after the bed/pillow reorganization event that took place at 4:30 AM. While he was sleeping Sita was busy setting up follow up appointments with various specialists and straightened out incomplete drug prescriptions with a reluctant pharmacist and a not so friendly doctor. She also straightened out some miscommunication between Shaughnessy and the VNA nurses and lined up all that was needed to get Axel in the best possible shape to continue his recovery. Tessa had gone off earlier to do her two jobs in order to make up for the lost income from the tree planting in Canada.

All the while I was quietly puzzling away, something that Axel simply does not get (why spent all that time putting 1000s of pieces in the right places and then when it is done you break it all up and put it back in the box?).

The New Dishwasher was delivered early in the morning by Adam Doyon who is the brother of Tessa’s best friend Val. You could tell that from a mile away by his smile which resembles hers. Tessa called Jack Manderson the plumber who sent us his son Titus and his friend Paul. They showed up after lunch and spent a couple of hours installing it. We think this is magic: you call a plumber in the morning, and someone shows up a few hours later and it was all a gift! Thanks a million Jack, Titus and Paul!

The intake nurse/PT from the VNA arrived while Axel was napping outside and so the consultation was done under a tree in the beautiful afternoon light that is so special at Lobster Cove. She was very thorough and this is how a few loose ends that Shaugnessy did not catch were noted for immediate attention: a bedsore kind of wound on his elbow and the section of his head scar that is till open. She also helped Sita and Axel sort out the going-to-bed-routine and clarified some things about the arrangements of foam wedge and pillows that had puzzled us the night before. Much advice and encouragement, in short a great visit.

Sita did a yeoman’s job juggling her roles as head of the Patient Advocacy team, the Household team, the Finance team and getting ready for her work assignment next week in Dallas. For her going off to work next week may actually be more like a vacation from the most extreme multi-tasking challenge she has ever had. For both girls, doing some real (paid) work is probably good therapy. A labor of love, which their Parent Project is, can only go so far (and it has already stretched into 5 weeks!).

Axel’s oldest (but not old) friend Chris Kessler arrived from DC to spend the weekend with us and I could tell that Axel was very moved to see him. Sita and Tessa had a hard time to drag him to bed. In ordinary times Axel and Chriswould drink beer and banter late into the night at each reunion. Trying to mimic the experience Axel had two O’Douls and as far the banter goes, they simply cannot help themselves! Thanks Chris for this visit, it lifts all our spirits.

The night was pretty good, and only had one interruption: covering cold toes, closing windows and emptying pee bottles is not something we can do ourselves. We had to wake Tessa up and realize our extreme dependence on having someone close by to help us manage the nights.

We read in the guest book that a Meals on Wheels campaign is being organized by Ann and Sook. We are very grateful for this as the flow of food has been hard to manage and the refrigerator was full with leftover dishes, some quite old. Over the past weeks everyone in the house has been eating at his or her convenience, cafeteria style. Now we are trying to eat together as a family again. Jim has started this next step to normalcy by cooking us some nice meals lately.

Once again, thanks for all the cards, emails, gifts and encouragements. We are all moving in the right direction. Thanks Joan for your frequent postings. I am looking forward to the day we can actually see each other again in real life!