Archive for April, 2012

Busy with spring

The trip to Bangladesh and back is already a faint memory – such is the blessing of forgetting unpleasantness. I arrived back in springy New England; amazing what changes occurred in just a week.

Axel had a full social agenda planned for me – a dinner with friends at the local country club to spent their end-of-year restaurant balance (use it or lose it). We were in the company of –as my mother used to call them – ‘the happy few;’ many also there with friends to do the same. It was like a sociology field trip and me the participant observer. I watched well-permed grandmas with their adult children and their young boys in blue blazers and pressed chino pants, the girls in pretty dresses.

Because of the many other grandmas eating there regularly, I suspect, the menu contained for most entrees the choice of a whole or half portion. I like that and did order a half so I would have room for a dessert. I started with a martini, my first serious alcoholic drink since our Ayurvedic cleansing. I drank it ever so slowly.

On Friday I was back on my physical therapy schedule (ankle) and resolved to get rid of bad shoes and invest in some sturdy footwear. So far the miraculous effect of this investment has not materialized and a long walk with Tessa, Axel and dogs left me crippled.

Saturday proved too windy for flying with Bill, at least for me, and so he went alone. It was not too windy for yard work. Axel planted the potatoes and I pulled out the perennials that gone wild. The asparagus are poking through the soil in increasing numbers and the garlic is looking good.

Last night we went to Waring for the annual junior class auction that is to generate enough funds to send the whole 11th grade class to France for a month. This is probably the most significant of Waring’s coming-of-age rituals where kids test their ability to speak French in France, sketch monuments and vistas and drink too much wine. The dinner theme was ‘Diner en Blanc’ which made for a festive white and gauzy appearance. Axel wore his Afghan outfit, the same he wore for Sita and Jim’s wedding – I wore what can best be called a ‘mother-of-the-bride’ ensemble which made me realize I have become my mother. Eventually we all do.

Today looks like another gardening day.

Transit

The strike was over and with that the streets clogged again. Fatima had promised to take me out for a farewell lunch. It took an hour longer to get to my hotel.

We decided to find a place within walking distance despite the heat. We found a Japanese/Chinese/Korean restaurant. I suggested we try bi-bim-bap so that Fatima could sample the food of the country she will be visiting soon for a consultancy. But first she has to pass her bio statistics exam.

And now I am in Dubai again where I ran into some Afghan friends; now a couple, he a former colleague she one of the leadership facilitators I trained. Small world.

Eight hours later Amsterdam, with a searing pain in my shoulder and an achy left ankle. I am not in great shape to travel another eight hours.

Something good

With five members of the facilitation team, we spent the morning in the large and empty hall we had rented pretending that the workshop was actually happening. I facilitated the program with them as participants. We did a micro version of the workshop and it succeeded in making the design come alive for the team. They realized that cutting the workshop in two parts – one of our previous plans – would not have been a good idea as ownership and energy would have been compromised.

In the end we agreed that we should start afresh in July, after the government’s new fiscal year has started and the frenzy of end-of-year spending subsided.  We discussed how to move from alignment to leadership training and moving the common agenda forward. It’s an exciting combination of activities I love to do.

Rumors are circulating about the strike being extended even longer. I have heard of evaluation and fact finding missions that have come, and left again after having been waiting in hotels and guesthouses for the hartal to end, not able to see or interview any of the people on their lists.  One of those teams in town was from the ‘What to Expect Foundation’ (from ‘what to expect when you are expecting’ fame); such irony. I was told they returned home.

Now, after the brief training this morning and seeing the enthusiasm of the local team my trip felt not so useless any longer even though one could argue about the costs versus the benefits.

I was not the only one who had come from afar; a colleague from Johns Hopkins had flown in from Baltimore for the occasion. We decided to have our nails painted at a local spa so we’d had something to show for our stay in Dhaka.

For naught

There was more nastiness in a far north corner of Bangladesh and the strike has been extended one more day. This sealed the deal: the workshop was called off and with that my trip to faraway Bangladesh was for naught. When money is spent like that it is called the cost of doing business; when people travel halfway around the world for something that doesn’t happen it is called bad luck.

Tomorrow I will try to transfer as much of my facilitation skills as I can to would-be facilitators in an audience-less and window-less basement room of the hotel – paid for, and so presumably available to us, and stuffed with workshop materials, flipcharts, markers, even conference bags. A dry run so to speak.

I made a few escapes from the hotel, which is not a bad place to ride out a strike but still, having been here for days now without any action was getting a bit old. We went to a store nearby with my Johns Hopkins colleagues to admire the brightly colored fabrics and handmade crafts. I bought some cards that were recycled report covers, cut in small pieces and cleverly turned into appealing notecards. I also got some local music but since I didn’t carry my CD drive I won’t find out until I am back whether it is nice music. At least it is popular the shopkeeper told me and both old and young like it.

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Sayeed came to pick me up for a West Bengal lunch across the lake. Although he was not pleased with the quality of the food, I enjoyed it. We caught up on about 4 years of not seeing each other, new and old business and friends we have in common.

Later in the afternoon I took a rickshaw to the Dutch Club which is recognizable from a long distance by its bright and wide orange wall and red-blue-white painted gate. If anyone ever wants to pick on the Dutch, they are easy to find. My friend Ellen treated me to a Heineken and a Bangla version of a Dutch cocktail treat, bitterballen.

Ellen and I work in the same field, as does her husband. She is now working for one of my earlier employers. She and her boss had also been invited to the workshop and had already decided yesterday they could no longer attend because of the many missed days. That would probably have been true for many other stakeholders. Calling of the workshop was really the only sensible thing to do.

Striking along

The strike got nasty last night and cars and buses were set on fire, people died. These things happen here. This is the reason people don’t want to drive after dark. And this is the reason why my date with Sayeed was also canceled this evening. He tried to leave his house to pick me up but he returned when it was clear that the demonstrators had not stopped creating mayhem. The strike was extended by a day.

The consequence of another day of strike is that our two day workshop has now been reduced to one day, Tuesday. Whether we will even be able to have that one day remains to be seen. I hear a lot of incha’llah talk about the end of the strike. There is much at stake with the opposition’s threats that the hartal last until their kidnapped leader is returned. But some people fear that he cannot be returned because he may already be dead.

Not knowing quite how to behave under hartal circumstances, and with the restrictions of movement in Kabul still freshly imprinted, I was happy when my friend Fatima offered to come and get me for an escape from the hotel to have lunch at Nando’s. She came in a bicycle rickshaw and then negotiated in a mix of Urdu and Bangla our trip to the first circle in Gulshan where one has to transit to another rickshaw as the territories are clearly delineated. The presence of a foreigner by her side put her in a poor bargaining position – a difference of 80 cents.

We had lunch at Nando’s where I opted for a ‘mildly’ spiced meal, fearing that spicy would be unbearable in this place where most food is very spicy (mild was just right).  Over lunch I learned that Fatima hails from Hunza, of Three Cups of Tea fame, up in the northwestern corner of Pakistan, the place so eloquently described in Kathleen Jamie’s book ‘Among Moslems.’

She told me what it was like to be a midwife there, something she did for many years. I got a glimpse of the stress she endured of not having people die on you lest the health center’s (and one’s own) reputation be damaged; a heavy load to carry by a young midwife in a place where people usually don’t come to the health center after they have tried everything else. Death is usually around the corner at that late stage.

Now she is studying at BRAC University’s school of public health. She confided in me her struggle on  how to connect a difficult bio-statistics course with her practitioner’s experience of public health. The school used to be good at making that connection for the students.

Back at the hotel I had a vegetarian thali while watching a TV channel that seems to show only one movie, over and over again (The Bridges of Madison County). No matter where you start in the movie, eventually you get to see the whole thing.

Forced stop

The BNP, opposition party, last Friday, threatened a non-stop shutdown, here known as a ‘hartal’ if the government failed to produce its kidnapped leader Elias Ali alive. The hartal started already and forced us to start the workshop a day later. This will only work if the strike is called off tomorrow at the end of the day. If not, we have to scramble, along with lots of other people in Bangladesh who made plans.

I had forgotten about these hartals that are so common and yet catch everyone by surprise. Here too, like in all the countries I have worked in, politicians are the great spoilers and there is great disdain and dislike for them. Yet they can’t all be bad. Bangladesh has made some great strides in raising literacy rates, increasing family planning and reducing the growth rate of its population.  But with so many people it will take awhile before that reduces actual numbers. A hug bulge of too many babies born over the last 40 years has to work itself through the life cycle.

And so tomorrow we are told to lie low. Not the kind of low as in Afghanistan, in fact I was told that being a foreigner does not put me at risk. But I am not sure what it means for me, this extra day of waiting.

Today I met the rest of the facilitation team, one batch in the morning and another in the afternoon. In the morning I met my MSH colleagues at the local office and in the afternoon only those local to the area could show up. Crossing town after 5 PM was not advised because demonstrators can get nasty to cars driving around. People are warned to get home before 5 and then stay put. And so we won’t have everyone in the same room until the workshop starts – assuming it will – the day after tomorrow.

The list of invitees is long, over 90 people, but no one expects all these people to show up. Only 22 replied positively. What started as a workshop for 20 to 30 people is now anyone’s guess.

In the meantime I learned that my trip to Kenya, replacing the cancelled trip to Afghanistan, is now also cancelled which means my travels will stop a little earlier than expected. As with so many other things, whether this is a good thing or a bad things is hard to tell at the moment. The focus of the work was right up my alley so I am a bit disappointed, but then again if the grandbaby comes early it would be a good thing.

From there to here

The trip to Bangladesh has three segments, each one a little shorter than the previous one if you travel East, the opposite if you travel West, with each segment a little longer than the previous one and also longer because of flying into the trade winds.

Segment one and two were orderly, as one would expect. But segment three was very disorderly although the Emirates people did their best and kept their cool.  There are lots of young Bangla men working in the Emirates and there is a constant shuttling back and forth as these young men go home or try their luck. I suppose those are the lucky ones, the ones who are not bonded slaves.

After reading (Gregory David Roberts’) Shantaram I was looking for the gold that was/used to be smuggled out of the Emirates as jewelry around arms and necks but I saw little of that. In fact the Bangla customs form allows very little jewelry to go untaxed. The authorities may have wizened up after reading the book, after learning about the inner workings of the Bombay mafia and its grip on the black markets of the subcontinent.

For the final push into Bangladesh it was my luck to sit at an exit row where I could stretch my legs with an empty middle seat; it was my bad luck that that seat was across the aisle from a tired young couple with an infant that didn’t want to sleep in the bassinette and cried when not wiggled on his dad’s knee. Still, I managed to sleep most of the way – exhaustion and earplugs helped.

I woke up when we were getting ready to land only to learn that a VIP had sequestered the airport for the next hour. When you have been on the road that long such an extra hour kills. And so we circled over Dhaka until the airport opened again. Then followed another long hour standing in chaotic and ever-shifting lines of exhausted, numb, irritable but also happy travelers to get ourselves stamped into the country. I was waiting in line with a Bangla grocer from Lynn, MA, who had come by way of Newark to Dubai and was just as exhausted but in a fine mood. He was going to visit the few remaining relatives who weren’t already living in Lynn, and the proud owner of the much coveted American passport.

It was Friday so traffic was light, which is a relative concept. Still, it shortened the 45 minute ride to the hotel to 20 minutes. That was a good thing.

I made contact with Courtney, formerly from Safi airlines who is now flying out his remaining days till retirement ferrying planes from Dhaka to the US or China for repairs or lease returns. He happened to be in the country and so we had a date, fully encouraged by our two home-based spouses. He took me to the Westin and treated me to a multi-cultural buffet dinner that would have been wasted on either one of us alone. We caught up on life and adventures that we had since we said goodbye at the Barbecue Tonight restaurant in Kabul, now 9 months ago.

On our way back, we threw ourselves into the throngs of beggar moms and street urchins that are attracted to the moneyed customers of the Westin. After having been chauffeured around in Afghanistan for two years, or driven myself around in South Africa, the experience of haggling for a taxi or the motorized rickshaws was new again. The smoke-spewing baby taxis of yesterday are now called CNGs (compressed natural gas), encased in a metal cage (to keep the riffraff out I presume) and running on clean energy. I am sure it makes a difference in the quality of the ride if not of Dhaka’s air. I remember driving in these things with my scarf wrapped around my mouth as a rudimentary airfilter.

Getting ready

I am sitting in front of a sprig of quince blossoms, a gift from someone with an oriental eye for beauty, and a small vase with tulips and bleeding hearts, a gift from another whose life is all about gardens. Outside the birds are wide awake, blending their chirps into an unscripted morning jubilation.

More and more asparagus are poking through the soil. We are watching them like hawks because the asparagus beetle has already announced itself and it can dash our hopes of an abundant harvest. A cup with soapy water stands in the corner, waiting for the ennemy.

I am done with the Ayurvedic cleanse. We are instructed to add more variety to our diets, like one does with a baby trying out new foods, slowly and one at a time. The consumption of animal protein caused a reaction right away and makes me wonder how badly I need that. Alcohol is off limits for another week.  Luckily I am going to the land of rice and dhal and no tradition of alcohol. Such a diet suits me fine.

Sita was sitting in the yard sunning herself and reading about childbirth when I came home from work. She asked about my first delivery. I realized I could remember very little – such is the thing with painful experiences: the mind stuffs these into spiderwebfilled corners, far from our RAM. And so I pulled out my diary, book number one of many which contained a letter written to a friend, a faded copy of a typed epistel – a blow by blow account. I read it aloud, translating from Dutch as I went along. It was not the beautiful experience it was supposed to be, but life changing nevertheless. I think Sita is realistic enough to know that labour is indeed hard work.

I started to pack last night – trying to fit everything in a small suitcase that can be carried on or checked. I will only be in Bangladesh for 5 days, the other 4 days are travel, both long and straight through. My weak right arm argues for checking, the fact that the suitcase has to be transferred in Amsterdam and then Dubai argues for carrying.

I dreamt last night that I couldn’t find my ticket – my mind is still a bit behind the times, thinking that without a paper ticket one cannot get on a plane. I finally went to the airport trying to find out from some eastern European ladies on high heels when the next flight to Dhaka was. They were standing behind a high counter that forced them to bend over to be able to address their customers. The one who was helping me fainted and so I never got the answer. I am pretty sure I was about to miss the direct flight from Manchester by the sea, or wherever the dream took place, to Dhaka.

Spring contrasts

Axel opted out of the spring cleanse when his old-time friend Chris arrived from Long Island– he couldn’t imagine not having a beer with him and besides, Abi, our cleansing coach, had written to all of us that we should be gentle on ourselves and so he was. Today he abandoned the whole thing in favor of baked ham, more beer, wine and what not. So he will cleanse another time. I decided to stick with it which wasn’t all that difficult. Two years Afghanistan makes it easy to forego a glass of wine or beer.

And while we were celebrating new beginnings and hope and love, Kabul was under attack, another one of those complex attacks with people blowing themselves and others up all over the city. We received emails from friends that they are in lockdown and OK.

We had Ted from SOLA and two of the Afghan students over – both taking some time off from studying – to come celebrate spring with us on this glorious spring day. And then one by one our dearest friends arrived bringing flowers, food and each other. Sita joined us, giving everyone a chance to see her in her very pregnant state.

We sat outside until the sun went down and then moved inside to sit by the fire, watching the second half of an Agatha Christie movie. We seem to be unable to make it through one whole movie in one evening anymore these days.

New beginnings

We are four days into our Ayurvedic spring cleaning and I am feeling great. Except for the lengthy morning preparations it has not been very difficult. I imagine that my cold and sinus congestion, which started on day two and left me feeling poorly and tired, was over in two days because of my clean living.

My trip to Afghanistan has been cancelled, and with that my chances of going back there reduced to close to zero, at least for the foreseeable future. Some people would think that this is cause for relief and joy but for me it is disappointing. I had looked forward to seeing friends and colleagues. I also had wanted to do a final distribution of clothing and packing up what I left behind. I was in the budget for four trips – hence the stuff I left behind. I had imagined travelling with carryon only.

Within hours of this cancellation a replacement trip offered itself, this time to Kenya for some HR work.  I said yes as long as I would be back a good 10 days before our grandson is expected to arrive. That could be arranged. And so, in the end my travel schedule has not changed, just one of the destinations.

And now we are getting ready for our annual spring ritual, our Greek Easter celebration, where we enjoy the company of our best friends against the backdrop of new green and flowering trees. We celebrate many things at this time of year: our 32 years of marriage, the lucky circumstance of our meeting (35 years ago) and new beginnings, especially the imminent arrival of Sita and Jim’s son.


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