Sylvia's Journal

Friday, 20 July 2007
Today was a bit of a rollercoaster – all good still, but I think it’s beginning to sink in with my father that this is going to be a long journey. My mother got then news today that she may be discharged tomorrow – she has a meeting with a physical therapist in the morning, so the final word will come after that. We are coming prepared with a dress from Burkina so she can be rolled out in style, if need be. Upon hearing this news my father pouted a bit and said “that’s not fair, I want to go with her…” If only.
She is doing really well today – her face is a lovely peach and she used the private toilet for the first time, although it’s not so private, I suppose, when you have two nurses and your daughter watching.
She had some lovely food today; fruit plate again, hummus, tabouleh, nice chocolates from Doug & Sallie Craig Huber (which we nibbled on all day). A bountiful cornucopia of fruit and cheese and other goodies arrived from Phil & Bobby, which mad my father’s cat food meal look sooo vomitous. I am thinking about bringing a blender in – he’s on a puree diet, but one can puree just about anything with the proper blender. A cheese/sausage/apple/pear/popcorn smoothie might actually be pretty good, no? Tessa and Steve spent a lot of time with him today and lovingly fed him orange mush, and fish mush that looked like it had soap bubbles in it. Oh – and the bottle of “No-Rinse” reappeared in my father’s room this morning, and the PCA washed his hair with it (that’s my job, lady…). I imagine it much like one of those Mormon commercials – “I’m sorry, Sylvia, I took your “No-Rinse,” I’m really sorry…
Dad listened to a bit of Harry Potter while I paid some bills and had a very, very nice talk with a woman from T-Mobile, who, upon hearing the news, credited my cell phone with 200 free minutes to accommodate all the extra calls this month. My mother found this very comforting/touching (as did I, it was a warm gesture). I actually think it was the first time I had seen her shed a tear since this whole ordeal happened…She said it was really nice to know that there were good people even in really, really big conglomerate companies, good to know that good people were empowered to do good things.
My mum’s machinery arrived this afternoon – a wheelchair and a walker with an arm rest thing – I am going to suggest that we spray-paint it fluorescent orange so she doesn’t get lost at night when she escapes from the cage we are going to keep her in. It should be very interesting having the run of the house with her out of commission…We’re going to have a good time!
She’s not too much of a movie person, but there may be some times that Jim, Steve, Tess (and Joe Sterling) and I may want to go hit the town, in which case, it would be good to be able to cuff her down and plop a movie in on repeat…I jest, I jest. But if you do have any movie suggestions that don’t involve plane crashes or hospitals or axe wielding maniacs, let us know. I think I will be taking full advantage of my Netflix account in the nest couple of months.

Another big piece of news today is that Axel will be having surgery on his arm on Monday morning at 7:30am. They will be administering general anesthesia, and will have a breathing tube put in (this time much more gently, and he will be asleep, so it won’t be traumatic, or scary or anything like that). The anesthesiologist was very reassuring, and seemed highly competent, even with her Patriots head wrap on. I met again with the orthopedic lady who told us all about the actual operation – they will put a rod through his bone and put screws on either end. Simple enough for me – I don’t need to know any more. The operation will take about 2.5 hours, then he will be in the recovery room for a few hours. After this is over, and he’s back to bed, some other team will come in and will evaluate how long they think he will need to recuperate from the surgery – after that, off to rehab! It seems like they might send him to Shaugnassey (?) in Salem – which would be great for us caretakers – less driving, more family time.
I’m sure I’ve missed something – oh! My father has moved. The man in the room with him was really sick, moaning and groaning, screaming, and his family of 43 was around his bed all day (all very nice folks) so they decided to move him to a private room, and gave my dad the window bed, as Tess and I have been requesting. This is a much nicer setup – much like my mother’s – he now has a sill on which he can keep all the beautiful bouquets of flowers they have received – One of the nurses came in and said, “It’s like a regular greenhouse in here!” We did some interior decorating, as we had done in Sylvia’s room – hung some new curtains, put knick knacks and photos all around, found some nice old blanket of Herman’s in case he gets cold – looks quite homey I must say.
Tonight was the most fun part of the day – after my dad got situated on his new side of the room, we wheeled my mom in with a handful of roses for a nice Friday night TV date. My father wanted to try to stay up as late as possible so he could try to sleep through the night, so he thought it’d be nice to be old farts together and watch tv, hold hands and sip on Styrofoam cups of cranberry juice and zoethout tea. It was a very romantic scene when Jim and I finally left at 9:30 – them holding hands, her spoon-feeding him yogurt, watching Monk. I felt at peace leaving them like that, it felt complete, they looked absolutely beatific and charming and so in love.
Hopefully tomorrow you will have an update from Sylvia herself – she has been frantically writing all day today, and I’m sure she’s got a lot to share with you from her side!
Thanks again for all the support!
xoxo, a very sleepy sita.

Side note: Just got home from the hospital – wrote in the car, which seems to be the best way to maximize my sleep time, but came home to find Steve and Tess still awake. We’re having a Friday night after all, sitting outside in Oma’s lawn chairs and watching shooting stars – another welcome break. Tomorrow Steve and I will prepare the house and Tessa and Jim will man the hospital – Tessa’s cell isn’t working but you can reach Jim at (508) 369-9517 if it’s necessary to call – but please, only if you need to arrange a visit. Otherwise you can call the hospital and ask if he’s in the mood to receive visitors.
And – if you call him, please be prepared to have no longer than a 30 second long conversation – He is always really excited to hear peoples voices, but it’s hard for him to hold the phone up for too long, so if you call – let him know who you are, say hello and make him laugh, let him know how important he is/how it’s going to be so great when he comes home – and then let it be. Please, please, please don’t say “I’m so glad you’re alive…” Today this caused some problems because he’s beginning to come to terms with the fact that he could have died/had more brain/spine/etc injury, and this is a really big burden – it’s is making him worry, get upset, and get “freaked out” as he said today. Try to keep visits upbeat, positive, fun – simply letting him know you are there and thinking of him and are saving a nice dinner and a cold beer for him seems to be a good approach. We have yet to read him any of the comments, or show him any pictures because it’s all too soon, too real, too scary at this point. There will be plenty of time for longer conversations! The flowers are beautiful, the cards sent to the hospital are lovely – He is very aware that a million people are sending love his way, but to actually receive something in the room seems to really cheer him up.
I will post photos of their Friday night date later on my flickr account (the link is in the link section of this site).
Good night all.
s.

By the way – we finally sorted out all the name errors today. Axel is listed under Richard Magnuson, and my mother is Sylvia Vriesendorp (instead of Vresbsenforp or something like that!). I forgot to mention that Joan was released today and taken to Spaulding Rehabilitation Center in Boston – I am curious to hear how her time there is – sounds like a lot of hard work.
My father is currently in room 413, my mother 409.

Tessa and Steve arrived today – after a long long day of flight delays and bad weather and a steward who actually told them ‘Sorry for the delay – we’re going to get you to Boston as safely as possible…’ Very reassuring indeed. In any case, they finally made it to Worcester courtesy of the Katie Blair and Andrew taxi service – thanks for that! When they came to the hospital they had easy access to both Axel and Sylvia because, believe it or not, they are now living only a few doors apart!

Axel was released from the ICU today in the late afternoon/evening. He is currently in room 413 (not a window seat, unfortunatley) and has been totally ‘unplugged’ from all his drips/meds. He had a ‘lovely’ meal today of what looked to be catfood and powdered mashed potatoes and a side of pureed carrot. It’s amazing how four days of not eating makes even animal food look good. He had a pretty eventful day leading up to his transfer – last night at midnight he had a 2.5 hour MRI session that (oddly enough) really interruped his sleep. He felt jostled and prodded, and was a bit fed up with things this afternoon. He kept saying ‘I’m ready to go now…’ He also was able to stand upright today – the nurse told us that the fractures in his pelvis are actually very minor (they looked at the 3rd set of x-rays today), and that he is able to put all his weight on his legs when standing. This is really a remarkable thing – it means that he will be able to more self sufficient than we had previously thought during his rehab time.

He is still a bit groggy/loopy – but i get the sense that this will pass with time. His neighbor is an older gentleman named ‘Franny’ or Frances, whose whole family was visiting today and (as Axel tells me) had a very philosophical debate about sinners in America. They have a smiley face on the whiteboard at the end of the bed that is saying ‘Jesus loves you and so do I…’ I drew a picture of a dinosaur with hearts all around it on my dad’s.

When he came to the 4th floor, they wheeled my dad into my mum’s room and they waved and visited for a few moments, then later she hopped in a wheelchair and raced down the hall to see him. They sat for quite a while and my father talked about how the tough Irish nurses in the ICU had bossed him around. Later, when he asked if he could brush his teeth, the attendant (Henry) said, ‘Sure – you can do whatever you like!’ to which my father dropped his jaw and said – ‘wow. that’s the first I’m hearing of that! The ladies upstairs were brutal!’ The freedom to brush the teeth is a good freedom to have.

Tessa got a bit teary when she and Steve rushed in – they literally dropped their bags in the hall, it was very movie-like because all the lights were out in the ward (past visiting hours but special circumstances allowed us in). Some tears were shed – my father shed a few tears like the native american who cries because the white man drops trash on the ground. A few single drops, but with quivering lips he expressed how very thankful and overjoyed he was to have his whole family reuinited.
Then he suggested they see mum, so off we trotted to her room where Katie Blair and Andrew welcomed us in with warm hugs. They all listened to Syl’s version of the events of the day, how perhaps the crash happened, her recollections of the hour she was awake during the rescue operation…I’d heard it, so I visited with pops again. He seemed very very tired.
Earlier in the day mum had her first poop – I guess you all may have seen that one coming. It smelled like peaches and tiny fairies riding unicorns . Lovely. This was a very big accomplishment (although ‘the poop heard round the world’ doesn’t roll off the tongue in quite the same way), as was her ability to maneuver herself entirely on her own. My guess is that she will be out of the hospital in a few days – she is off the drip morphine and sodium chloride, and is taking pain meds in pill form as needed. Her leg is beginning to hurt more, and her sleep during the night is still irregular, but she is doing and looking remarkably well. After eating some food today (cottage cheese, fruit, yogurt, macaroni and cheese) the color in her face is returning.
We tried to have another hair washing today but found that someone in the hospital had stolen the ‘No-Rinse’ along with the leave in conditioner. can you believe that….Really….Someone actually stole the ‘No-Rinse.’ It was truly devastating, I have to say. I confronted the nurses, we had a bit of a standoff and I kicked her in the shin. Sorry – I didn’t, but I was mad. I told you that stuff was good. I wish they could have stolen something else, like the thing that beeps a lot on the end of the bed, or the trashcan.
I ought to wrap this up…I’m a bit tired! So, huge day today – dad out of the ICU, mum on the commode, Tessa and Steve finally here, tons of delicious, delicious food that we came home to at Masconomo street along with a lovely assortment of reading/listening material from Jenny Jackson (thanks to all of you so much – that was a nice treat). Now that Tessa is here I may get her to write a bit if she’s got the time – I’m curious to hear her perspective on all this. My mind just blanked. Time for bed (after I upload the new photos – see my flickr site in the links section).
s.

Today mum farted, which was really quite a miraculous event. We high-fived afterwards – it felt a bit like a British sitcom? My mind is indeed quite tired, so this update may be shorter than previous – lets see…Sylvia sat upright today – she learned how to pivot into the luxurious chair next to her hospital bed. She sat there for quite a long time today, twice actually. She was quite a trooper – I can only imagine how much pain she was in, her stomach staples cover most of her front, but she truly showed some strong Dutch character and pushed through it. I gave her a nice ‘No-Rinse’ shampoo again, and a foot massage with some lovely sheepsmilk footcream that she and Sietske bought in het Amsterdams’boos (?) a while back (the same day I learned that Jim hates the smell of goats). Her neighbor (the bartender who love the pain meds and sounds like sandpaper rubbing against a drunken signpost) was away for the whole day in surgery so she got a little bit of peace and quiet, and she got some quality napping in, I think –
Axel also had an eventful day. He sat upright for the first time (with his brace on) and got the go-ahead from the speach/swallow doctors to go on a ‘mush diet.’ The first food he had (which only Jim was witness to) was a saltine/water concotion that apparently tasted ‘like shit.’ He was able to drink water today – I think….I had a sneaking suspicion that he maybe wasn’t supposed to because he would whisper to us whenever the nurse went away ‘Can you give me some water, please?’ making sure he/she wasn’t looking – but the cup was there, with a straw in it, and nobody told me otherwise, so he got some liquids in him. He told us that he threw quite a fit the other night about not getting any food or water, so they gave in – he can be quite persuasive as most of you know.
He had some visitors today, watched the red sox game in the evening, and is looking forward to Tessa’s arrival tomorrow. He said ‘She’s going to be really freaked out isn’t she…’ I tried to prepare him for a perhaps teary Tess and I think he welcomed the role of being able to be a parent to her and try to calm her – in any case I think her arrival will be a real spirit lifter for him (not that he’s in bad spirits – but two daughters by your side is always better than one). He’s going to get an MRI tonight at midnight (ooo…already passed) so by tomorrow we should know more about his head…
I saw Joan briefly today – she apparently is going to be discharged tomorrow or the day after to Spaulding rehab center in Boston. She is looking forward to it, I think. Her son is flying in from California to see her on Friday – her daughter and her son in law have been in and out the whole time she’s been in – again, more family = good.
We had a nice evening visit from one of my mothers coworkers. I got some photos of her on her computer – arranging emails from her hospital bed – these I will post sometime soon (not tonight – my eyes are barely open right now)…So, sitting, farting, hairwashing, saltines, that about sums it up for today. Jim and I came home to amherst for the night to make sure our cats were still alive and had a nice hour or so with some folks from western mass – a late but welcome distraction. I’m sure tomorrow will offer more, as Tessa arrives, and multiple visits with Axel are already planned…
Thank you Andrew & Katie Blair for picking up the car…Thanks to everyone for all the support. Sylvia read all the new posts today and really loved them – I really can’t emphasize enough how much your words mean.

Another day of improvements – Axel got a brace on his torso so he was able to sit up a bit and got a tiny glimpse of the lovely view of Worcester out the big picture window in his private corner office of the ICU. He ate some pudding, but is not able to drink liquids yet, despite his afternoon chanting for Coca-Cola. He had a few more x-rays, then the orthopedic specialist gave Jim and the rundown on his bone breaks. Here’s the list as far as we know right now: fracture in cervical vertebrae #2 (in the neck), broken humerus (sp?) (upper arm), fractured pelvis (on each hip side), compression fractures in the lumbar region of his spine (this is what Joan has as well), and the small fracture in his skull. She said that none of these required any surgery – which is great news – that they will all heal on their own, although it will take a long time (12 weeks for some of it, apparently). We had quite a fun time when Jim and I first arrived – Axel was a little loopy from being taken off all his pain medication – he had us waving at the ceiling at a village full of Indians and circles. It was fun. I was really quite perplexed at his apparent lack of pain, but Cathy (one of his wonderful nurses) told us that he isn’t in pain because he isn’t moving at all. So, for the time being he’s only on a fluid drip of some sort. In the afternoon/early evening he had a procedure to put a Central IV in just under his right collarbone area so they could stop pricking his arm, which is a bit swollen from IV fluids from the night before. This was a little bit scary because the nurses have to warn about all the possible risks of this CIV, which include lung collapse and infection – they assured us that even though this was a last resort place to put an IV in, they had done it many times. As hoped, all went well and we gave him some ice chips as a treat for being such a good patient. The powers of the ice chip are magical, I must say. Sylvia had a very eventful day, with lots of flowers delivered to her room, which really livened up the room. She had a neurologist come in to take a look at how well she can move various parts of her. During this time it became apparent that she has some sort of damage to her rotator cuff – which severely limits how much she can move her arm, and which also makes it near impossible to sit up (unable to support herself). However, she did manage to muster up the energy to be transferred over to a stretcher so she could take a fieldtrip to visit her darling husband in the ICU. Jim (who has been immensely helpful and supportive) and Morsey (Joan’s husband who has been an incredible source of support for all three of them (and Jim and myself) – and who was there with his two teenage children on the ground when the crash occurred) wheeled her over to the Lakeside building where the ICU is, as I snapped photos – it was quite an exciting wheel over. We waited a bit while Axel finished getting some x-rays done, and then we united the two (see photos), they lay side by side, touching whatever parts they could (mind out of the gutter, guys). Axel said to her “I didn’t believe you were alive at first” – and exhaled with a sigh of relief. They had a lovely 20 minute visit, held hands, took a good look at one another (as best possible with Axel mostly flat on his back) and coined this the Summer of Recovery. I transferred kisses between them and then let Axel go to bed for the night after a very busy day.
I had almost forgotten that the two had talked to each other on the phone earlier in the day – Axel actually spoke some French and some Dutch to her on the phone – clearly the head is working rather well.
I didn’t get to see Joan today, but apparently they discovered a few broken fingers and toes, which they taped together. I didn’t get in to see her in time to wash her hair with the “No-Rinse,” so she had a hellish “Rinse” shampoo – next time I will try to cut them off in the hall. Perhaps tomorrow I will find some time to paint her toes, or maybe Morsey can learn how to do that (I’ll photograph that if it happens).
Some other news from 409 – my mother got a lovely new roommate who has been a smoker for what sounds like 1000 years. She called me her granddaughter and had a fit today about not getting her drugs. She’s quite a character, and very entertaining. We like her – she’s more of a hoot than the lady with the dogs. No more fun TV today – mum said every channel she tried to watch was about plane crashes or people in hospitals – booring.
Again – thanks for all the support and love and light and what not – Sylvia has read all the comments as of noon today, she absolutely loved reading them – keep em coming – it’s a direct line in.
Xoxo.
Sita

All spirits lifted today. In the morning Jim and I had a lovely time searching the aisles of CVS for ‘no-rinse shampoo’ – I didn’t even know they made this stuff…i highly recommend throwing out all your ‘rinse’ shampoo.
Mum was in relatively low spirits this morning. She had a very tough night of no sleep (which I assume was partially the fault of the 88 year old lady in the bed next door – who we learned by the way was in the hospital because her dogs dragged her into the lake….). So I tried to cheer her up by showing her the no-rinse shampoo. She told me to check in on pops, so Jim and I went to the ICU, and met Anne and Chuck in with him – they were telling him he looked like a chipmunk, it was darling. After some jest and jive and squeezing of hands, we were booted out so he could go get more xrays (pelvis). [I don’t know the result of these yet]. Back to mum, then, for a spa treatment. I started with the no-rinse. It worked like a charm, got rid of most of the dried blood on her scalp and made her feel fresh and light (as advertised). Then, after a long foot rub with various balms and ointments and creams that I found around the house (which have been lying around the house for years and years and are finally getting their proper use), I cleaned the lady like red/pink nail polish off her toes and repainted them with an equally hideous darker red shade of nailpolish – but I added an extra layer of glitter nailpolish, which really makes all the difference. She was doted on, got a scrubbed face, her nails cleaned, and then leave in conditioner. It was like a sleepy morphine party. very nice. She had some visitors during the day, a few phone calls, and seems exhausted when more than one thing is happening at the same time.
Jim went to the state police barracks in Athol to collect the rest of the belongings (dad’s wallet, mom’s purse – no camera or flight bag found), and while he was out that way he stopped at the crash site – he said it was quite a site – and he came back from his excursion even more amazed that they were all able to pull through – he said the site is pretty grisley looking – very dramatic, with a path of cut down trees, and swamp and bugs of course.
Back at my dad – the big excitement of the day – they took the breathing tube out and replaced it at first with a mask, then to one of those plastic nose plugger air things you see on tv (which mum and Joan also have). This was really huge. He started babbling like a little kitten – couldn’t talk enough! He had no idea where he was or how he got there – no recollection of even going flying in the first place. Jim and I read to him from some newspaper articles and all he could say was ‘wow, amazing,’ and ‘unbelievable!’ He was fully able to communicate with us – said he had been talking to us the whole time, we just couldn’t hear him. He was relieved to be breathing sans pipe – said to us ‘I feel broken,’ which in many ways he is – but at least not in spirit or mind. He also said to us toward the end of the day that he had felt love before, and had experienced love before, but never like this, like now. He said he felt full of warmth and emotion and was genuinely grateful for all the love people were sending his way. We stayed with him for quite a long time. I had the pleasure of sucking giant globs of mucous and blood out of his troat with a dentist tool (this was quite a remarkable experience, so forgive my mentioning it) and after we calmed him down from the excitement of being able to speak to us all, we hushed him to bed and tiptoed out. I checked back in on sylvia and she was deeply and soundly asleep, primarily because the lady next door had been taken away by her ‘piss and vinegar’ nephew.
It was really a remarkable day. It is so late right now, and I am so thouroughly exhausted – so I do apologize for lapses in my writing skills, or variable thoughts. thanks ted and charlie for mowing the lawn, thanks everyone for the food and support. time for bed.
Other news – Sylvia is free to go as soon as she can eat food – which may not be for a while, but we think she’ll be the first to be discharged. Axel is spending tomorrow getting a brace and getting his spine checked out. Tessa is arriving with Steve on the 19th @ 2:45! Lovely!