Sylvia's Journal

7/31/07 Joe here.

A gem from yesterday:

Sylvia: “Axel, do you have internet connection here?”

Axel: “Internet? Around here a good BM is a real accomplishment. We don’t do Internet.”

The Axel update: Davis Optometry in Beverly gladly rehabilitated Axel’s crash-proof glasses. He is seeing the world clearly once again through his current prescription thus recovering one more bit of personal power. Rehab Road now includes more moves more times per day. Axel is sitting up in his wheel chair and moving around more – still with the tortoise shell and neck brace. The sling is off the left arm, and a new splint adorns his left wrist to keep it extended. Trios of pretty young therapists have been observed prodding him around the deck. He has opted for practicing using one eye at a time, rather than wearing the pirate patch. Alas, all fashion fads come to the end of their run.

Today I was asked if Axel was my father. I’ll just leave it at that.

From the Lobster Cove Office of Calamity Management:

(LoCo CalMan for acronym lovers)

Calamities, like everything else, have a life cycle. As Sylvia alluded to in her post, this family and attending networks (you and I) have moved beyond the “Disaster Phase”. We are all now in the middle of what I call the “Clean-up Phase” – the stretch when everything gets stabilized and the dust settles. At this point we’re beginning to get a sense of what the next few months are going to look like. The prognosis for everyone’s injuries is becoming clearer, and fortunately good news is emerging daily. Stitches are coming out, bruises are fading away, and some household routines are rebooting.

At the same time, the adrenaline supply has run out, and long days of care giving, driving to and fro, and shouldering other’s routines of daily living plus new routines of home nursing are exacting their price from everyone. Sita and Tessa are making life/work adjustments and considering options for the next quarter or two. Medical bills are starting to arrive daily.

Soon, probably upon Axel’s return home in about two weeks (if we’re lucky), we will enter the “Recovery Phase.” This is the relatively longer and less dramatic stretch of Rehab Road. Each of these phases has a different personality. The tone and content of our Journal entries and your Guestbook entries reflect the transitions.

In the Recovery Phase we’ll move from patient management to project management. The vision: returning the Magnuson-Vriesendorp family to its robust and resilient state – better than before. This takes patience and persistence on everyone’s part.

In the next day or two we’ll be developing checklists of household actions that recur every day, every week, and every month, plus special appointments – all of which must get covered somehow. The goal of these lists is three-fold:

1) Provide whoever is supporting the household on a given day a quick reference for what needs to be done – this helps keep the house running smoothly. Crossed off items give everyone something to celebrate.

2) Make it easier for Sylvia and Axel to stay focused on healing rather than domestic engineering – this will be important as they begin to feel the pressure to take up the yolk of work life when they should be resting/healing. Recover as fast as sensible but no faster.

3) Make it easy for all of us to a) see what needs to be done, and b) step up to do it. With checklists, those of you who have time and energy to contribute can arrange to cover specific tasks on specific days or weeks (some tasks are local, some will be remote). This helps spread the love more evenly over the coming months. Flowers are nice, hours are nicer.

We’re looking into online tools to make it easy for this global network to continue to focus until the job is done – that being restoration of this family to full productivity. None of use can afford to have such important players off the field for long.

A reflection: It appears to me that networks of people periodically need something to focus upon, to flex their collective muscles, and to realize their network’s power for good. It’s an arduous task to act as that focal point in a global network exercise like this, but Axel and Sylvia are doing it with grace. The exciting thing is that once a network discovers itself, that it can coordinate and move resources, there’s no end to what it can accomplish. It’s important to participate because it might be your turn to play focal point next time.

Let’s see how quickly we can restore the Magnuson-Vriesendorp extended household to “better than new” robustness and resilience. It makes us all stronger. After which there should be one hell of a party!

“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

“It ain’t over till it’s over.” – Yoggi Berra

Sylvia and Axel were able to reunite today for a few hours at Axel’s new digs. It was pure voyeuristic joy to see Axel and Sylvia reconnect, exchange kisses, and quiz each other about their respective maladies. Both look and behave markedly stronger than that at the last visit about a week ago.

The other day Axel heard some of your Guestbook entries read to him. He found these so very moving and comforting. Today he has begun reading the Journal entries himself. These were equally moving, but in a different way. The entries by Sita and Tessa, which reveal their courage, strength, and resourcefulness, brought up a father’s tears of gratitude, pride, and love. We should all have such children.

Relief #6 – Axel sat up, and then stood up, and then took steps to settle comfortably (sort of) in a wheel chair – all with the help his new “physical terrorists”. We achieved lift-off at 2:30pm ET and the Eagle landed at 2:32 PM. I don’t remember if Orville and Wilbur Wright did as well on their first flight, but Axel was superb. Once in the wheel chair Axel realized that he was able to do one more important task of daily living, drink without a straw. When sitting all the way up, even with a neck brace, the likelihood of pouring liquids down your collar diminishes dramatically. He stands. He takes steps. He sits up. Bravo.

A second realization was that he no longer had to respond to a leash – not to a bed, or wall, or anything. With catheter bag slung from his wheelchair under-carriage (reminiscent of Paul Bunyan’s mythical great ox, Babe), we were wild, free and ready to rumble.

LET’S ROLL! So, without further adieu freedom was on the move and heading for the deck garden on the roof of the third floor. With the exception of the transfer from hospital to ambulance yesterday, this was Axel’s first fresh air and open sky in two weeks. Flowers. Fountains. Tomatoes in planter boxes. Sky.

That trip outside, plus the flight from bed to wheelchair were all unexpected happy achievements today. Axel responded like anyone being informed of an imminent pardon from prison. He was breathing in the air and the real prospects of returning to a full life beyond a hospital room.

It was a big day, a turning point day, and, I’m sure he will sleep well tonight. Perhaps the first good night of sleep in two weeks.

“I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams.” – Jonas Salk

As Axel and I are want to do, our conversation drifted yesterday afternoon and this morning to the consulting projects that Axel has been coaching me on at least bi-monthly for years. We have been cultivating new approaches to regional visioning and community planning with an eye toward sustainability.

Relief #4 – Characteristic of Axel, the stream of astute and probing questions began to flow. My friends, he is all there. Whew…now that’s a relief. I should hasten to add that he now has a copy of the new Harry Potter book, and he wanted to know the plot twists for the two preceding books he has skipped. The last one is tough to follow if you haven’t done your homework. Mercifully, I filled him in.

He is enjoying the stimulation of real dialogue about real things of importance. He said it was great to get some conversation that wasn’t about his injuries, or other people’s injuries, or the damn puree. He’s all there. It would be a service to him to engage his mind as before. Think of it like visiting the Oracle in the matrix, except it’s Axel that’s plugged in, or Yoda in his little hut in the forest. I believe it will be one more lifeline pulling him back to productivity, self-esteem, and a vision of a bright future.

As a reminder of why it is so important to get out of a hospital as quickly as you can I will relay the following vignette. After Axel had consumed one of Sita’s a fine fruit smoothies, he said he had a bit of heartburn. So, he rang the nurse’s call button. When a voice from the intercom on the wall behind the bed answered, Axel asked for some Tums to settle his tummy. Sita repeated the request to be sure they heard it clearly. Moments later, Tung, the Vietnamese orderly appeared in the room asking what Axel wanted. Axel said, “I’d like some Tums, please.” Tung said “Your tummy?” “Yes” said Axel “I need some Tums for my Tummy.” “I’ll get your nurse,” replied Tung.

A few minutes later Axel’s nurse appeared. “I brought your pain medicine.” “I don’t need painkillers, I need some Tums” replied Axel. “Oh, alright. But here, take these anyway” she said. Axel complied. A few minutes later she came back with the Tums (two rolls). Yikes!

Relief #5 – Axel moved today to the Shaunesy Rehab Center at the Salem Hospital.

The ambulance drivers got lost, but got there. I got lost too. Between Harry Potter in the CD player, and that @#%&! navigator lady in the dashboard, I damn near drove to Providence before I came to. Between disc 4 and 5 I had just given myself another hour of driving through the middle of Boston.

Axel is now settled in a more spacious room with a larger window and a view of trees. He is feeling very pleased to be taking control of his body back from Tung and the UMass machine.

The march up Rehab Road begin tomorrow. “…But we must learn to be equally good at what is short and sharp and what is long and tough. It is generally said that the British [and Magnusons!] are often better at the last. They do not expect to move from crisis to crisis; they do not always expect that each day will bring up some noble chance of war; but when they very slowly make up their minds that the thing has to be done and the job put through and finished, then, even if it takes months – if it takes years – they do it.” – Winston Churchill.

As a Lobster Cove houseguest I have been promoted to journal co-author (I’ll hand off the baton to the next houseguest that arrives).

Most of my entries will be about RELIEF. It’s not entirely clear whose relief these will be about – Axel’s, Sylvia’s, Sita’s, Tessa’s, or mine. In any case, I’m beginning to get what being a “relief worker” means. I, for one, feel better already!

7/26 – I arrived after a trans-continental flight about 2AM (7/27). Sita, who was busily transforming the barn for she and Jim to occupy while caring for dear ‘ole mum and dad, greeted me. Hmmm…“Little House on the Cove” I thought. How practical, how natural, and…wait a minute…does Axel know is complete collection of Wired magazines (ALL issues save one) has been moved? Oy…and what about those papers from 1978… you know, the ones intermingled with those papers from 2005 and the drink coasters from that great South African bar?

Relief #1 – Sita looked well, no worse for the wear of the first 10 long care-giving days. Upon arrival, I was graciously fed and then shown straight into the well-feathered healing nest that was once Sylvia’s office. And, there, in the dim light, was a sleepy and characteristically welcoming Sylvia.