Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category



Thanksgiving by Skype

Although participating in the Thanksgiving celebration on Skype doesn’t satisfy all the senses (smell, taste and touch), it did satisfy some (sound and sight). I connected three times during the day, following the various preparations from early morning (nothing on the stove at all) to mid-day (giant turkey in oven), to ‘nearly there.’ We remembered last year when the electricity went out and we huddled around the stove melting the snow for tea, coffee and other liquids. This time things were easier.

I got to show my face to Saffi who doesn’t quite understand the concept of ‘Oma,’ and see Faro being a bit too helpful in bringing in an egg from the chicken coop, egg dripping on his hand. An information session on the fragility of eggs is clearly in order.

I learned more about the various creative endeavours of the members of my family: Sita has already made ceramic mugs, Tessa showed the ring she has made and Axel is making art on silk. Sita asked me what I wanted to learn to do, other than knitting and embroidery. I had to think a bit. Woodworking I finally said, something I did two decades ago at the local vocational school, but now I travel to much to take scheduled courses. I made a coat rack, fixed a set of drawers, made a clothes valet for Axel and saw horses – all in good use still. More than 5 decades ago I learned woodworking in France during a summer camp. I made a small stool, turned a salad bowl and egg cups. I love the feel of wood and see a rough piece of wood transformed into something of beauty. Actually, I like transformations, period. Even here, in five days I saw some transformations, good ones.

I can’t wait to be back now and am counting the days – 14 days to be exact, and two more assignments remaining. It’s been a great trip so far but I don’t think I am going to make it a habit to be away for 6 weeks, unless Axel comes along.

Mist

Every day it is getting a bit hotter – we are moving into the rainy season here in the mountains and the humidity is mounting by the day. Air-conditioning is a great invention.

We have completed three of the five days of our training of trainers. The design I adapted from the previous TOT is working fairly well thanks to my foresight to make comments about what worked and what didn’t work. Still I am making adjustments as we go because this time our focus is a little less defined and this requires that we explore things in more depth. Last time our focus was given: increase the retention rate of people on antiretroviral therapy – a problem that has created sleepless night and much head ache at the top of the ‘pyramide sanitaire.’ In our previous program it was a tangible problem that was addressed successully.

Now the focus is intersectoral coordination with regard to Ebola and other epidemics – prevent, detect and treat, or “préparation et riposte” as they call it here. Coordination is a lot less tangible than HIV patient retention rates; some people think it is simply meetings but everyone knows that bodies around a table doesn’t necessarily make for good coordination. But something was done right here as Ebola never entered Cote d’Ivoire even at the height of the tragedy next door. I am trying to figure out what that ‘something right’ was.Today we are going to find out what good coordination means to the three regional teams that are represented here, and hope we can tap into that experience.

The team of experienced trainers is stepping up to the challenge as we bring on board a new cohort, with a few hiccups here and there. One hiccup that startled me was when the participants received their facilitator guide materials: 500 pages, a two hole puncher and a four hole binder. It was quite a sight seeing all these doctors punching all these pages with those punchers. It took 45 unplanned minutes. I have learned over the years to put plenty of padding in my time budget and so we could absorb this hiccup as well as those related to ‘la francophonie.’

The participants are slowly molding into teams – they’d better as they have a big job to do next week when we go ‘live,’ and start on Monday with three simultaneous alignment meeting in three frontier regions with Liberia and/or Guinea.

We will divide in three facilitation teams, consisting of a few experienced facilitators – the ones that already completed a successful leadership program in the eastern part of the country – and then the ones we are training right now.

As usual, since the training is experiential, there were countless ‘anxiety’ questions when we started on Monday. That mist is slowly lifting, and those not very engaged (what? another training?) are starting to get engaged. I am doing few sessions myself and coaching mostly from the sidelines. I am proud of the team that is so passionate about the work of leadership development.

Waiting for nothing

My colleague R was correct; we arrived exactly at 6 PM at the hotel in Man. The roads were pretty good except for some 20 km where the driver was zigzagging across the road trying to avoid holes in the tarmac. Luckily there was not much traffic on the road and the zigzagging was possible. These roads are not wide and large trucks can take up more than half.

We had lunch in Yamoussoukrou in a maquis, a small roadside restaurant serving traditional fare for very little money. Yamoussoukrou is famous for its enormous basilica that is visible from far and stands in sharp contrast to its simple and chaotic surroundings. Nearby is the family compound of the former president Houphouet. It is enormous and reminds me of the palaces of Chinese emperors; surrounded by 4 meter high walls that are interrupted on each side by enormous gates, it looks unassailable.

The whole team that I trained more than a year ago is now assembled to continue its cascade training. Enthusiasm is high and everyone is very confident. They are going to run the show – my contribution is the design and serving as a coach on the sidelines. It is now entirely their game.

Man is located in a beautiful hilly part of the country that could be like the foothills in Switzerland. We drove past hills that look like enormous boulders sprinkled across the otherwise flat land. The hotel is located on a hill and every room has great views. Everything is clean but the black spores of mildew are everywhere. My cough, though never completely gone, returned during the night and my voice is affected again. The octave test showed I am regressing.

There is no internet in the rooms and the dangle I was giving is from the wrong company, one that doesn’t work here. This may be a problem. On the one hand being out of reach of emails is appealing; on the other hand there is work to be done after hours that requires an internet connection. Thanks to a mysterious little box that my colleague  R has I can leach off her internet connection and post this while it is still hot.

I watched the news and wished I could connect to my sister in Brussels to find out what it is like to wait for nothing to happen. It seems a big dilemma – you want something to happen so you can stop waiting while you don’t want something to happen because people will get hurt. How long can one close down a whole city?

Next leg

The dream last night was all about knowing I have to go on a trip, and having a ticket, and having a hair appointment, but never quite being able to get the actual dates and times of my flight and appointment. There were always interruptions from this one and that one, and I was always in a very chaotic environment; so chaotic that I couldn’t think clearly.

I woke up with the feeling of running after myself, being exhausted and chaos. It occurred to me that I may have absorbed some of the anxiety and feelings of refugees that gets channeled to me via the news and mixes with my long trip and countless assignments that require action from me during the day and after hours. I have never been a refugee so I don’t know, but I can imagine it would be something like this – except that for them there are no plane tickets or hair appointments.

Axel and I were finally able to catch up on Skype while he was cooking an Indian dinner. Our friend W happened to be there and chimed into the conversations from time to time as we talked about the hysteria that is creeping into everyday life. This I see as a victory for ISIS. Fear does bad things to otherwise rational human beings.

The husband of our friend M, already very frail when I saw him last time, has passed away. I won’t be able to be at the funeral. Axel will have to represent me. I am sorry that i am so far away.

I packed my suitcase for the fifth time. Today we will drive to Man in the western part of the country. It looks, on the tiny internet map, as if it is about 75 km from the Guinean and Liberian border. It is far from Abidjan, some 600 km which will take about 8 hours, I am told. It is rainy season and if the roads over there are anywhere like the ones I have seen pictures of in Liberia, then 8 hours would be fast. I will be in good company with two women, dear colleagues I have worked with for years, one my age and one much younger. They are both very interested in the psychology of leadership. I think we will have some fabulous conversations.

Next assignment

For the fourth time I packed my suitcase to move out of one and into another hotel.  Yesterday morning, after the morning reflection, I handed my facilitator baton (a marker) to my colleague from DC to wrap things up and said my goodbyes to our team in South Africa and wished them well as they head into the last leg of their project.

Driver Aaron who I have known for some 5 years – we hug when he drops me off, that kind of friendship – told me about the Cradle of Mankind when we drove past the big mount that houses the skeletons and bones of our earliest ancestors. We talked for a while about that ancient history and how some of these people made their way as far as Australia and started settlements along the way. It is endlessly fascinating and I was sorry not to have visited there. Aaron is a tour guide (and a minister) in his spare time and I told him one day I would have him take me there.

It took 14 hours from door. I left under beautiful skies and arrived in a very wet Abidjan, which was completely gridlocked (traffic wise). It took the driver 2 hours to get from the office to the airport. This is ordinarily a 20 to 30 minute drive. I have been in these jams before on these very same roads. Some of the side roads were rivers. A gaggle of policemen were trying to straighten things out but one was hit by a car. They were completely powerless against the drive of ‘me-me-me,’ which in traffic situations is that everyone forces his or her way across traffic streams (wet or dry). I was too tired and still a little benadryled from the cough syrup, so I didn’t care.

South Africa, or at least Gauteng Province finally got the rain it so badly needed, though not enough and too much at the same time. Abidjan, according to my driver, is getting rain when it should be done with rain. I am so glad that I have a profession that doesn’t depend on rain, but we should all be worried if the people who grow our food, don’t get enough or too much of it.

I am once again in an Ibis hotel but this one isn’t as nice as the one in Tana. Not only is it poorly maintained with a yucky carpet on the floor, the room is about one fifth of the size of my previous hotel room in Magaliesberg in South Africa (and one sixth of the one in Jo’burg). Here, when I pivot from a central position in both bathroom and bedroom I can get to almost every part of the room without moving, just stretching out my arms. In those other two hotel rooms, I could have put up my whole family, including grandchildren .

Imperfections

The honeymoon suite turns out to have a few flaws. Nothing is perfect for long – the divorce rates are testimony to this. The beautiful bathroom stinks. It smells like sewage but I suppose it could be the zebra poops outside my window. The smell hangs thickly and sickly in the air. The espresso machine runs until the reservoir is empty and then some. This means my cup flows over with thin diluted coffee that is not worth drinking. The only way I can stop the machine is to turn it off. All these are of course small things that don’t take away the joy of being with a great group of people in a great place.

Last night the corporate teambuilders organized a game show kind of event that got everyone pumped up. The expectations aboout bonding and integrating from the participants are being realized. I watched and marveled at the energy that our teambuilders created.

Over dinner we reviewed our progress and the plans for the next day; we made some small changes, reviewed the time budget and relaxed.

While I was asleep dreaming about going into the coal mines (undoubtedly brought on by the gumboot dancing), the rest of my family exchanged pictures of their artistic creations and are learning, I am sure, about imperfections in a more joyful way. Axel is learning how to paint on silk, Tessa has made her first ring in a jewelry making class and Sita is learning how to be a potter. I am also creating something but it is less tangible. After a while I also need the more tangible kind ,and am looking forward to pick up my knitting needles in a month.

Among zebras and other luxuries

Our retreat place looks like a honeymoon destination: everything is for two, two showers side by side, a large bathtub for two, and two sinks, mirros, an espresso machine and a king size bed with countless pillows.

There were even two zebras grazing outside my terrace when I checked in. There are complementary massages and everyone in our retreat is slotted in for a one hour massage. Twelve masseuses have been summoned to get us all done before the retreat ends on Thursday.  I don’t think I have ever had this kind of treatment in any retreat.

We are in the Valley Lodge and Spa near the ‘Cradle of Mankind,’  It is one of eight South African World Heritage Sites. It is the world’s richest hominin site, home to around 40% of the world’s human ancestor fossils. It is a place where tourists go; I am so close but there won’t be any time to visit it as I will have a plane to catch on Thursday when our retreat ends.

A South African outfit called Affordable Adventures has been engaged to provide opportunities for getting to know each other outside the workplace, bonding, laughing and integrating. I am mostly observing and am struck by the creativity of the exercises. Last night, in pairs, people painted small panels that, together, created a 1.5 by 2 meter visual related to our work. The panel painting required coordination with adjacent panels without knowing the final end product. Today we learned gumboot dancing, a traditional form of dancing and singing that entertained the workers at the South African mines so far away from their homes and families. Everyone got a pair of (too large – slaps better) gum boots (we call them rubber boots in the US) and a bandana. Three experienced dancers/singers and drummers tried to teach us a very complex song and dance, requiring constant slapping of our boots.  This was a challenge for most of us and produced some very good laughs. Rhythm is not quite my forte, at least not this kind of rythme.

We also worked hard – getting alignment around results and lessons learned, clarifying language and learning who is doing what. It’s instructive for just about everyone, including our CEO who was able to join us for the morning of our first day.

And now I am sitting on my spacious porch, overlooking a kind of village green where the zebras come and go as they please, actually just galloping by as I sip my glass of Pinotage.

Bad to worse to bed

Being without voice is bad enough but now a dry cough, sinus congestion and ear aches have joined in, plus a slight fever. My body is protesting loudly about something; and here I was doing so well with the sugar abstention.

We went to a meeting at our donor’s offices this morning and in the middle of the meeting I had a coughing fit that became a coughing spasm and therefore hard to stop. I had another one later during the day. I was hoping to get better because tomorrow I am standing in front of 30 people eager to learn how we ‘do’ management and leadership development. It is not going the way I had wanted.

Our meeting with our funder this morning was all done in whispers, not just mine – people clearly adjust to the levels of voice with which they are spoken to. This is good to know, if one didn’t already – when someone is shouting loud at you, speak softly back. I am also getting tons of advice about home remedies, some known, some unknown, like putting a peeled onion on the table, tapping my chin, massaging and wrapping my throat, and then of course the known one of ginger, lemon, honey, hot water and a bit of rhum, a grog. I will do that before bedtime as they make a wicked ginger tea here.

Talking in a whisper without engaging the vocal cords is more exhausting than I thought; having done this now for two days, it finally caught up with me. I left the office at 3 PM and headed for bed, too tired to do anything else. I left my colleague behind to prepare on her own. It is pretty clear now that she will have to do the facilitation – I am going to be the whisperer in the background which won’t let me engage with people – so very frustrating.

The only good thing to report is a fabulous massage last night. The spa across the parking lot has a deal with the hotel, 20% off. I think I will be back.

Lists

The last few days before departure have bene relentless and exhausting as tasks piled upon tasks. Some came back after I thought they were done, like the Ethiopia visa that expires two weeks before I even get there. The Ethiopians must assume that one makes short trips. The visa was stamped on October 23 and expires on November 22. I arrive December 5. That was not good value for money and requires now another 175 dollars for a rush visa, ughhh. But after an whole day trip across the continent on December 5 I don’t want to wing it and try to talk my way into the country on an expired visa. What if they were to send me back to Abidjan?

The good people at Delta managed to get me from the waiting list into a B-class seat for the long haul from Atlanta to Johannesburg, so the first part (and the longest) of the mega trip looks good.

Last night Tessa came over in the storm to pick up some of our plants and collect her wedding paraphernalia that are being recycled from one of my colleagues who just had her wedding in the north country.  This means the decoration part is done.

Over dinner at a local restaurant she went over her list: save-the-date to invitees – not done (the hardest part), dress, about to be ordered,  Steve’s outfit (no idea yet), music (some ideas), food (figured out), putting up the guests (ideas only), officiator (done), place (done – their home), photographer (everyone), flowers (will grow), wedding cake (we got the stand, homemade probably), wedding party (small, no bridesmaids, done). We have 11 months to go so we should be in good shape, ha!

And now I have to pay attention to the open suitcase with things strewn around it. Three hours before push off.

Standing

I am continuing my preparations for the trip, which are also happening at night, in my dreams. This morning I woke up from a frustration dream in which I was delaying a trip because of my knitting. I kept losing it (the knitting, not my marbles) and constantly had to retrace my steps to find it. I was never going to leave it seemed.

Reality is the opposite; the departure is getting closer and closer. Much of my ‘get ready’ work is about finishing (big) reviews I promised to have done and the designs of the various interventions I am tasked with. Obviously, based on my dreams, I am not convinced of making much progress, even though I am checking things off my ‘to do’ list.

Yesterday, when internet access disappeared about half past 5, I took it as a sign that the workweek was over and it was time to play. I was reminded of words uttered by my brother in law, years ago: ‘pas trop de zèle. These words have stayed with me ever since, whenever this ‘’ trop de zèle’ exhausts me.

We had an impromptu evening with our friends from Essex who came with their inexhaustible supply of roasted vegetables, to which we added grilled salmon and potatoes from (the exhaustible supply of our garden).  We picked a movie, very old fashioned at a  movie theatre, and watched Bridge of Spies with a flawless Tom Hanks performance. It brought back memories of visits behind the Iron Curtain in 1973. The scenes of people trying to get across the Wall before it seals off the East from the West were haunting. Back home, over a warm (Irish Coffee) and/or cold late night snack (ice cream with chocolate sauce) we sat by the fire mulling over the film, the cold war, the suffering, the divided cities, streets and families, bullies in uniform, and the terror of living in constant fear. We searched inside ourselves for whether we could ever display the moral character and courage of Hank’s character and his spy, whether we could be this ‘standing man,’ a key phrase in the denouement . We expressed gratitude for being born and living where we did and do. We are living such a live of abundance and freedom that it puts my mild suffering on long airplane ride entirely in perspective.


May 2026
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Categories

Blog Stats

  • 141,164 hits

Recent Comments

Sallie Craig Huber's avatarSallie Craig Huber on Rays for real
Lucy's avatarLucy on Probabilities
Olya's avatarOlya on Cuts
Olya Duzey's avatarOlya Duzey on The surgeon’s helpers
svriesendorp's avatarsvriesendorp on Safe in my cocoon

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 78 other subscribers