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About things that matter

We celebrated Ankie’s birthday in style, first with her chair decorated with plastic flowers, our all purpose celebration flowers that we can use over and over again, a congregation of various tchotchkes around her plate (a camel, a few bronzes). Her present from us consisted of two more cups and saucers of the 17 piece (lids and covers count as pieces) tea/coffee service that she liked so much last time and of which she already took 2 cups and saucers home. Now we have the teapot, the creamer and two more cups and saucers left here (7 pieces). Those she will have to come and get in the US.

I had revealed the secret of her birthday to her Afghan team mates who quickly organized a lovely lunch including a giant decorated cake which caught her somewhat by surprise. I encouraged them to sing but this all male team has some practicing to do. Still we were touched by their enthusiasm and sense of celebration. Birthdays aren’t that important here once you are adult.

On a more serious note, today was our project’s quarterly financial review meeting where where our corporate finance people take a close look at over or underspending and try to minimize risk in the future. For the first time I wasn’t totally intimidated by the review (my fourth since I arrived here). Two key players who were there at the last reviews were not there to do it for us, the three of us remaining had to lead the show. We reviewed and rehearsed in the morning and then we had the real review with our CFO in the late afternoon. I think we passed.

It was a good example of being thrown in the deep and then finding you can stand. It boosted my confidence enormously. I think I can learn this stuff. This will surprise my colleagues back in the home office who associate me with the soft and fuzzy stuff (actually not all that soft) of leadership and organizational behavior, not with financial management.

In between the financial review activities I attended the sometimes weekly sometimes biweekly consultative meeting at the ministry where then this then that taskforce or group presents its policy and/or strategy document that many people worked on for months. Today it was the turn of the HIV/AIDS team with an ambitious agenda for keeping the epidemic at bay before it becomes one. Listening to the strategies and proposed interventions I pondered how difficult it is to set priorities among all the competing agendas. Is dealing with this disease, copying strategies and interventions from Africa, so urgent here? Little research has been done but most of it shows the disease as a trifle compared to the figures in Africa. Questions were raised about this.

This is the problem of arch experts (local or international), or the fly in and fly out consultants who go for comprehensiveness, write such documents. I saw the same with other strategies – they are like A+ academic strategy papers – but do they make sense here? Much effort goes into these documents but then, everyone agrees, they get shelved because there actually aren’t any priorities as nothing is left out, or there aren’t any funds to implement or they aren’t even budgeted. This is the side effect of the very consultative processes – of which I am usually a proponent – but when there is no final single arbiter every member of each group will argue for their piece to be included.

Busy 31

There was very little time to celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary. My workday started before 7 AM and ended 12 hours later; a bit much for a first day at work and not enough to properly celebrate thirty-one years of marriage.

In the morning I attended the start of the fourth and leadership workshop with two of our own and two ministry teams. The leadership program has been stretched out over several months and sometimes I wondered whether we would be able to bring it to a good closure but now I believe we can. Scheduling a series of workshops with the same people is no easy task here.

I was asked to open the workshop. I wished I could have done it in Dari but I will need another year, at least one year.

I visited many of my colleagues to let them know I was back and Axel OK and inquired about what had happened during my absence. As someone quipped, “when you are here in the office people keep you so busy that you think you are indispensable but then when you go away for awhile you find out everything moves along just perfectly without you.” This is true.

In the afternoon I thought I had only one meeting, not having emptied my overflowing mailbox yet, only to find out that two more meetings were stacked right behind the one from 2 till 4 PM. Our office summer hours are now activated. “Good,” said Axel, “you start at 7 AM and are home before 4 PM!” Not so today, and, as I found out, not tomorrow either, what with phone calls with the home office that start after the workday here has ended here.

Home sweet&sour Kabul home

We are back in Kabul after a very bumpy ride over India’s northern plains where pre-monsoon disturbances pushed our plane like a little toy across the skies.

As luck would have it, my seat neighbor was an Afghan doctor who used to be a very senior government official two (health) administrations ago. He told me he has just published a book about organizational behavior (in the local language) – I couldn’t quite believe my ears. He is heavily into organizational behavior and emotional intelligence. This may not sound so surprising in the US but here such champions are rare.

I told my neighbor that I have been toying with the idea of doing a series of sessions about emotional intelligence as I have witnessed several occasions recently where this intelligence was clearly missing. He offered to do the sessions with me. This perked me right up.

We found our visiting consultant Ankie at our house. We should have preceded her arrival but our hospital adventure reversed our arrival times. It is her fifth time here and her fourth with us – she classifies as our most regular visitor. She knows what we like and what we miss and brought licorice and cheese; we gave her a packet of Darjeeling tea in return.

After warm Delhi the cold weather in Kabul surprised us. I reinserted the mattress heating pads which I had already put away when we were fooled into thinking that spring was actually summer. It is not, I had forgotten about that.

We are now at a summer schedule in our office which means the car comes to pick me up at 6:45 AM (it also means our workday ends at 3:30).

Delhi finale

We spent our last day in Delhi doing what we cannot do when we are back in Kabul – walking in parks and having an outdoor lunch in an artsy restaurant that served wine and beer in addition to interesting Italian and Indian fare.

We went to the Garden of the Five Senses which our guidebook recommended as one of the top 10 garden parks in the city. What the guide book didn’t tell us and what explained the sign at the entrance (Please observe decency) became clear quickly after we entered the whimsical gardens – it was a place for teenagers in love, probably escaping from overcrowding at home and little privacy. The gardens were full of small love nests; hidden behind bushes, under trees with low hanging branches, behind and under rocks formations, around the turn of each of the small pathways there were teenage couples in full embrace. This particular usage of the park probably explained why we saw very few people either younger or older than teenagers.

Trying in vain to stumble on teenage couples (they were everywhere) we did make it to the park’s highest point that offered superb views of southwest New Delhi, including the majestic Qutub Minar. In addition to interesting flora the park also had lots of very nice sculptures made by Indian and non Indian artists. The design of the park was odd, appearing like an unresolved disagreement between the designers around how much structure to put in, whether to follow the ancient Persian design of squares and right angles, bisected by water ways (the water was turned off spoiling the effect somewhat) or the British more natural approach to gardens and parks. The combination didn’t quite work for us but it clearly worked great for the teenagers.

After lunch we strolled around the old Haus Khaz section of town, famous for its ancient water tank, madrassa and tombs but also for its curio shops and fancy designers. We poked around one jumble shop where Axel found some old and ripped Indian movie posters while I enjoyed looking at a treasure trove of old embroidered pieces from all over India and Central Asia, including Ghazni. The pieces were stashed away in plastic bags that I found in dusty corners of the overflowing shop.

The shopkeeper treated her treasures rather nonchalantly, explaining the rips in the posters and the poorly preserved textiles. She was happy to explain to us the various panels of painted temple wall hangings, the story of Sita and Ram, and many other Hindu tales depicted on various items in her fascinating store.

We strolled through the Hauz Khas park, watched the spotted deer and peacocks and stumbled on one ancient building after another. Wherever you go in Delhi there are remnants of its past rulers – Mughals especially but also those pre-dating the arrival of Babur . These buildings are in various states of disrepair and rehabilitation. They dot parks and squares and gardens with Indian life going on around them as if they are unremarkable parts of the landscape. The awe that these buildings inspired in me also made me think about the blood, sweat and tears that must have gone into their construction – all to the greater glory of the winning Y-chromosome.

Last plays

We are making up for lost time and inhaling all the good things that New Delhi has to offer: good food, walks in the park (Lodi Gardens – reminding us of Central Park because of its liveliness), exhilarating rides in auto rickshaws and lunch with Afghan friends. We have nearly done all that we had hoped to do and have tomorrow for the things we missed. We are also starting to get tired of living out of a suitcase and I am getting psychologically ready to return trip to Kabul. Now, with his lungs in better shape, and with a bag full of medicine, Axel is no longer dreading the return.

Tourists again

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We finally got to be tourists and visited, at long last, Humayoon’s tomb – another magnificent piece of Mughal architecture. We arrived early and had the place nearly to ourselves. Things start late in Delhi – the city wakes up when in Kabul we already have a quarter of the workday behind us. We just left when over a hundred noisy school kids overran the place like a swarm of bees.

Humayoon’s tomb and the walled garden have been restored, much like Babur’s garden in Kabul, with the help of the Aga Khan Trust, the former project puny compared with this one. The educational exhibit showed how the Persian carpet designs (for indoors) mimic the outdoor designs for gardens. The crossover was illustrated by the picture of a carpet from Mashad with gardens on top and the geometrical design of the Persian ‘charbagh’ garden at the bottom. The word paradise, we learned, comes from the Persian words paira daeza, meaning walled garden.

We visited a part of the National Museum until our feet hurt and we felt like taking a nap. From the textile exhibit we learned the various kinds of embroidery, printing, and how gold was applied to cloth. Once again the Persian legacy was everywhere, from the gold threaded textiles to the miniatures depicting Babur and his entourage.

I returned to the tribal areas market and the exhibit on Indian landscapes so Axel could enjoy it as well – but the mounting heat and our aching feet soon led us back to our hotel where we collapsed.

For dinner we made reservations in a lovely restaurant with the very appropriate name of ‘Magique’ in what seems to be a newly developed area of the city – called the Garden of the Five Senses. We ate outside in a garden filled with lanterns, candles, flowers and trees – indeed a garden to delight at least three of our senses (sight, taste, smell) – whatever was supposed to delight our auditory senses was drowned out by being located right underneath the flight path to Indira Ghandi International Airport.

Freedom from johnnie

At 7:45 (PM) exactly Axel was discharged from the hospital after I paid the 5000 rupees not covered by our insurance. The amount included a $100l copayment and the cost of his toothbrush and toothpaste, his flexible tip thermometer, a ‘records charge’ and a consultation from the dietitian. It wasn’t until his last meal that I met her and told her he actually liked Indian food (she had assumed all foreigners didn’t) and a records charge. The actual bill was 40.000 rupees or thereabouts which is less than one thousand dollars. This explains medical tourism.

It took another hour to get his discharge instructions and receive his medicine (against Kabul dust, allergies, antibiotics). Only then did the nurse take out the line into his veins and then we were free.

On our way out I pointed out some of the extraordinary artwork – an entire wall of the hall to the elevators was covered by religious images, in stained glass – first there was the Ohm sign, then Jesus, then a holy man I did not recognize (Moses?), then Allah Akbar in calligraphy and finally the elephant god Ganesh. I wondered what the stern looking Afghans thought when they saw Allah’s name right next to Ganesh.

The hospital was full of Afghans who came to seek the kind of healthcare that doesn’t exist (yet I should say) in Afghanistan. This medical tourism by the middle class and even the poor is what bothers Karzai and his minister of health. They want to do something about this and we are often asked to help.

We splurged on a taxi, rather than a tuk-tuk, into the center of New Delhi and headed for a bar that served wonderful Thai food alongside cold beers and cocktails – something we thought about in the hospital during our three long days there.

Since we didn’t know until late in the day whether Axel would be discharged or not we had planned to postpone our return to Kabul by one more day. As it turned out all the flights on Saturday and Sunday were booked which means we have another three days in Delhi and Axel gets to be a tourist after all.

More hospital fare

The hospital is getting pretty stale – all Axel’s meals, lunch and dinner, are the same; no interesting Indian food. The TV channels are also a bit limited. We are beginning to suspect that the blue sticker on his admission form meant ‘foreigner – treat accordingly.’

Today I happened to be in the room when the doctors (he seems to have three consulting doctors who seem always to be together) showed up for their morning and afternoon rounds. In the morning they stood, looking down on Axel who sat on a low chair, with their arms folded. It was clear who was up and who was down. Later in the day when they returned for their afternoon rounds Axel offered them chairs which they didn’t take, and so Axel stood up to minimize the up/down thing.

Later he was taken down to see the ENT doctor in the outpatient department. The attendant wheeled Axel in front of the busy waiting area, facing the outpatients as if he was going to give them a lecture – in his striped johnnie. Everyone stared at him. Here patients are really patients with very little concern for their psychological safety and privacy. I suppose in a country as full as this one such matters are trifles next to all the life and death stuff that is going on here.

I have been sitting in the stark hospital room. Luckily it’s a private room – he got upgraded after waiting most of the day in the emergency room for a double to open up – which never happened. I read and cross-stitch most days but today I left him for a long afternoon nap and made my way to the Indira Ghandi National Centre for the Arts.

The Centrer had put up a show of the ‘seven sisters.’ This refers to the six states in the far northeast – Sikkim among them – that have more affinity with their other neighbors than with India. The day program was rather limited because of the heat to small stall selling local handicrafts. In the evening, when Delhi wakes up, it gets a bit more interesting with dances and other performances.

Some of the wares for sale looked more like South African crafts and textiles than what I would have expected in this part of the world. One of the states, Nagaland, even sounds as if it should be in southern Africa.

There were few visitors which probably had to do with the temperature, 33 degrees Celsius, which made it tiresome to put one foot in front of the other. On my way out I stumbled on a magnificent exhibit called Oriental Scenery yesterday & tomorrow – two sets of matching views, one aquatints made by Thomas and William Daniell, 200 years ago, the other photographs of the same venues and from the same vantage points by contemporary photographer Antonio Martinelli. Aside from the magnificent images it made me realize that exploring India is a lifetime proposition.

We are once again changing our departure date although we won’t follow the ENT doctor’s advice to stay for another 2 weeks. We expect to be flying back to Kabul on Saturday since the (other) doctors could not say for sure he’d be discharged tomorrow (Thursday).

The ENT doctor had an intern sitting by his side who was from Kabul. He knew exactly what Axel was talking about when he referred to the ubiquitous Kabul dust (khAk) and the havoc that it had caused for Axel’s upper respiratory system.

Delhi hospital adventures – day 2

I visited Axel last night until the hospital appeared to close down for the night. For dinner I went down to the lobby where there is a Subway shop and purchased my very first (ever) Subway sandwich from a helpful shopwallah who explained patiently to me there was a system to putting together a Subway sandwich, going from step one to step four. I order chicken ham expecting both chicken and ham but ham but chicken ham was one thing unrelated to pork.

I took a tuktuk back to the hotel, the little motorized rickshaws that have a turning radius of about one foot. He drove through back alleys and over what seemed sidewalks, past tents where religious celebrations took place that made him laugh, or happy or both. He spoke no English but we managed to get back to the hotel in no time for a couple of dollars.

In the morning I was back at the hospital carrying two coffee lattes up to the patient. The allergy diagnosis has been discarded and now it is simply a bronchial infection that is being treated with frequent doses of antibiotics and a periodic nebulization that is done by an old and noisy machine. The doctors still say ‘a couple of days’ before they think it will clear up.

At naptime, after lunch, I walked over to the shopping center up the street. To get to this glitzy side of India I have to walk past bins overflowing with garbage and a bunch of kids looking for scraps of stuff that is either edible or salable. The stench is horrendous. On the medium strip cows move around lazily, nibbling on the occasional weed that other cows had left untouched.

Next to Axel’s hospital is an Ayurvedic hospital, complete with an emergency department which makes me wonder how Ayurvedic medicine would treat an emergency. Outside the hospital wall are life size pictures of patients receiving copious doses of oil in a variety of ways, making me even more curious. How would they treat a bronchial infection?

I wandered around the very fancy and medium fancy back to back malls looking for a place to eat and stumbled onto a sushi place. I figured I better have sushi now before the oceans are contaminated forever with Japan’s nuclear fallout and sushi restaurants will become extinct.

We are getting phone calls from our daughters. They have lifted Axel’s spirits. Although he is sick, he is well enough to be bored by the hospital routines and the food (exactly the same so far for lunch and for dinner). I brought him my leftover pizza and a tiramisu to liven up his dining experience. Only a nice glass of red wine was missing.

New adventures

[another delayed post from Sikkim] We had a rather quick exit from our lovely Gangtok hotel, faster than we had planned because our plane left two hours earlier than we thought. We had to skip our last leisurely breakfast among the orchids.

Instead we received a boxed meal. And then, the car we had thought was fixed, was not. Our guide hastily arranged another car, not quite as comfy, with a railing to hold on to as if we were going for a roller coaster ride. It could have been – 100 km down the Himalayas to West Bengal’s plains where the airport is and, once again a drop in altitude of about 6000 feet.

We did the ride in a little less than 4 hours. Luck had been on our side; the old car held up well, there were no accidents on the road and it was Sunday so the traffic was light. We were told that once in a while there are drunken elephants holding up traffic where the road intersects a nature reserve down in the plains. Our guide told us stories about having to wait for hours to let the elephants rampage at a safe distance. They come out of the forest and go into the village where the local millet brew is fermenting. They like it a lot and then get drunk. The villagers must have gotten wiser and the brew is less accessible now.

We flew back in a very full Spice Jet to Delhi where a different set of clothes was needed: 33 degrees (Celsius) during the day and in the mid twenties in the evening. We met up with our two reporter friends we had met on our way out in Kabul airport. They had made reservations in a lovely Italian restaurant where real wine was served rather than the Indian substitute that didn’t quite make it to our standards for good wine.

The next morning instead of setting out for some sightseeing, Humayoon’s tomb among other things because we didn’t get to it last time, we decided to make a quick stop at a medical facility to have someone examine Axel’s lungs because he continued to have breathing problems. And then things took a different turn. Axel spent the entire day in the emergency room, first for the check out and then, once the doctor decided he needed to be admitted, waiting the rest of the day for a room.

I spent most of the day by his side, experiencing a day in an Indian emergency room. After noontime things started to pick up, one emergency after another rolled in, with tons of relatives, sometimes wailing, sometimes somber, sometimes resigned. One of Axel’s neighbors, someone’s elderly mother, after heroic efforts by at a large cast of medical characters to save her, was eventually wheeled out with a sheet over her face. It was not a peaceful death although I don’t think she was aware of the many tubes and wires that were used to bring life back to her. I am glad it wasn’t my mom.

And so we are prolonging our stay in Delhi, changing our return trip to Kabul to Friday. The doctor suspects a lung infection and an allergic reaction to Kabul’s dust (the latter did not surprise us) and prepared us for at least a 2 day hospital stay. Humayoon’s tomb will have to wait again.

Here’s a picture of Axel’s hospital dinner.


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