Posts Tagged 'India'



A very long yes

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The mother of the groom refers to herself and all of us westerlings as the white monkeys. It was not a term she made up but that was used some time back before the bride’s family realized the relationship with this white young man was for real.

The bride’s family is a Jain family which means, among others, that the food is entirely vegetarian – fine with me as it is varied and delicious. It also means there is no champagne, beer or white wine at any point during the wedding. For me this is nothing new but I can see that for the contingent of friends of the groom that had come from a beer drinking country (including the groom himself) this is not easy. The weather is exceedingly hot and humid (it hasn’t rained for two days in a row) and a nice cold beer would have been perfect.

The groom’s male friends, from his student years in Leiden, came with wives and girlfriends, many from Holland, some business partners from Bangelore. They all wore the local pajama style dress and wore red turbans elaborately styled, some round and flat, others feathered like a peacock, by turban experts hired for the purpose.

All this was happening while the tall blond girls stepped out of the spa building in their sarees, expertly wrapped and pinned around them by the women who do massages during the day. Most walked awkwardly and much too slow for their liking in their unfamiliar attire.

Everyone, including the teenage cousins, looked the part that required accompanying the groom as he rode on a decorated elephant to the entrance of the hotel. In front of him the groom’s party danced on the frenzied tones of the band as if it was carnival in Rio. For us, the parents, aunt and uncle and grandma of the bride it was too hot for dancing – we fanned ourselves as we walked slowly in front of the dancing mass, wondering why it took an hour to cover the 200 meter distance.

There is much teasing in a Hindu wedding as we discovered. The slow progress of the groom, leaving the bride waiting, the stealing of his shoes to be sold back later for a fee, the bride’s effort to put a flower garland around her betrothed’s head while his friends keep raising him up on their shoulders to keep him out of reach.

Even later during the ceremony on the stage there was much irreverent laughing and joking and much tolerance of these westerners not knowing what to do when. Never was there the solemnity and the emotional moments that we know so well from our traditions. And indeed, the emotions and tears came the next day during part 2,the more western part of the wedding).

The bride was brought in carried on the shoulders of men clad in only a loincloth, seated in a palanquin that was curtained off with roses and jasmine petals – a very fragrant arrangement. She emerged in a red gauzy saree, bejeweled and embroidered. Around her neck and arms jewelry that was dazzling and heavy. I was told this was not custom jewelry. Even her face was bejeweled. She, usually standing tall and straight, appeared slightly bent under the weight of it all.

The ceremony was carried out by a priest who came with bags of paraphernalia needed to complete the countless steps in the process. There were various objects, spices and substances I could not identify, large shiny green leaves that were used to wrap around money as well as the couple’s hands, kerchiefs, straw rings and a fire around which the couple was to walk seven times over the course of the evening, bound together with a string, involving all sorts of other rituals.

The seven walks around the fire took forever, the groom grinning to his friends sticking up his finger to indicate how many more. The foreigners stayed and watched not knowing the drill – after all we didn’t want to miss anything , taking thousands of pictures – everything was so very photogenic, the indian ladies in the bejeweled and colorful sarees, the thousands of white and red and green lights on every inch of grass and draped over every tree branch. The lush greenery accentuated by large green floodlights while a laser show was going on above our head on the tent ceiling.

Many of the Indians, knowing the drill and how long the ceremony would last, got up at the very start and went to the dining hall to sit down and enjoy the exquisite buffet. Only the immediate family of the bride, her aunties and sisters, remained on the stage, sitting across the Dutch parents.

The Indian side of the family was actively involved in the ceremony, given a variety of tasks by the priest while the Dutch party sat at the groom’s side mostly watching in wonderment and confusion, Hans alternating in his role of father of the groom and photographer/videographer with both cameras on his knees. Although somewhat prepared by their son, there were a few awkward surprises such as not having bills of rupees on hand when money was supposed to be deposited in then this then that container the priest held out for them. They had nothing in their pockets. The Indian laughed good natured and moved on to the next step in the process while the Indian dad, well prepared of course, constantly put small bills in hands, leaves, and kerchiefs.

It was a bit of an ordeal for everyone on the stage because (a) they didn’t get to drink or eat anything like everyone else; (b) it was exceedingly hot and humid but the clothes the men wore were seemingly for colder climes – thick damast-like long coats with stiff collars closed high at the neck; c) a ceremonial fire was burning in front of them which required that d) at least on the stage, the high power fans that we in the audience benefitted from had to be turned off.

After the ceremony was finally over – as someone said, a very complicated process for simply saying yes, we joined the Indian families in the restaurant and had curries and ice cream. On the program was a reception but this was mostly a photo shoot with everyone and their mother and brother posing with the couple. Some of the Dutch saree-wearing contingent had gone back to their rooms and changed into more comfortable wear and take a swim to cool off.

I decided to call it a night and found my room on one of the houseboats where an enormous spider had settled in for the night as well. I called the boat staff and they entered my room with a spray can and chased the poor thing around the room – it was not a fair fight. I had intended to send it back to nature but the chemicals did their work. I slept like a baby.

Waterland

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I woke up early and walked around the center of Fort Cochin. The humidity hit me as if a very heavy wet blanket was thrown over me. It hovered very close to 100% turning damp air into rain now and then.

I walked over moss covered pavers, along moss covered walls and under trees that may well be a few hundred years old with trunks and branches that have seen a lot of history. First the Portuguese were here and then the Dutch who firmly planted Christianity on this heathen soil. Churches, crosses, jesuses and monks are common figures in the landscape.

In spite of the heavy humid air and the puddles on the makeshift fields, soccer games were going on everywhere at this early hour. A walkway along the ocean was used by people doing their early morning constitutionals, their exercises, people shifting through the mass of water hyacinths for plastic bottles and other recyclables and fishermen repairing or arranging their nets.

I passed by the Dutch cemetery which was locked up behind a rusty gate – perpetually it seems. Large moss grown tombs were visible but I would have liked to see the inscriptions – who died here in the 1600s, so far from home? Who were these brave souls who left damp and cold Holland behind to convert people in this far away place?

At breakfast I met the extended Dutch party, immediate family of the groom and old friends. All the women, including the groom’s oma had had their hands henna-ed, intricate patterns applied with great skill during the previous days in Mumbai where the family of the bride lives.

Everyone had been taken shopping for sarees and wedding outfits. I fear that I will probably look a little frumpy, coming from the backwater of Afghanistan amidst these very sophisticated Mumbaian.
My friend had arranged for all of us to spend one night on a houseboat in what is called the backwaters. I can’t explain the look of the boats, not one is the same, so the slideshow will have to do. We encountered hundreds of them as we explored the waterland between the coast and the hinterland. They reminded me of elephants – big creatures lumbering along the waterways.

We had two boats to accommodate us all, the youngsters on one and the older one on the other, except that oma and I got to be with the younger group – maybe to keep an eye on things. We knew they had, with permission from parents, bought some adult beverages.

For lunch we lashed the two boats together and tied up at one of the small man-made islands where paddy is grown – the lush green color a wonderful sight after the khaki color of Kabul (khaki means dusty in Persian). The boat ride through these island-dotted waterways reminded me of the lilac islands on the Westeinder lake near in Aalsmeer.

The cooks had been working on our lunch since we had left the dock – vegetable curries with coconut, dhal, rice, fried fish, chutney, beans and more.

Delhi finale

We spent our last day in Delhi doing what we cannot do when we are back in Kabul – walking in parks and having an outdoor lunch in an artsy restaurant that served wine and beer in addition to interesting Italian and Indian fare.

We went to the Garden of the Five Senses which our guidebook recommended as one of the top 10 garden parks in the city. What the guide book didn’t tell us and what explained the sign at the entrance (Please observe decency) became clear quickly after we entered the whimsical gardens – it was a place for teenagers in love, probably escaping from overcrowding at home and little privacy. The gardens were full of small love nests; hidden behind bushes, under trees with low hanging branches, behind and under rocks formations, around the turn of each of the small pathways there were teenage couples in full embrace. This particular usage of the park probably explained why we saw very few people either younger or older than teenagers.

Trying in vain to stumble on teenage couples (they were everywhere) we did make it to the park’s highest point that offered superb views of southwest New Delhi, including the majestic Qutub Minar. In addition to interesting flora the park also had lots of very nice sculptures made by Indian and non Indian artists. The design of the park was odd, appearing like an unresolved disagreement between the designers around how much structure to put in, whether to follow the ancient Persian design of squares and right angles, bisected by water ways (the water was turned off spoiling the effect somewhat) or the British more natural approach to gardens and parks. The combination didn’t quite work for us but it clearly worked great for the teenagers.

After lunch we strolled around the old Haus Khaz section of town, famous for its ancient water tank, madrassa and tombs but also for its curio shops and fancy designers. We poked around one jumble shop where Axel found some old and ripped Indian movie posters while I enjoyed looking at a treasure trove of old embroidered pieces from all over India and Central Asia, including Ghazni. The pieces were stashed away in plastic bags that I found in dusty corners of the overflowing shop.

The shopkeeper treated her treasures rather nonchalantly, explaining the rips in the posters and the poorly preserved textiles. She was happy to explain to us the various panels of painted temple wall hangings, the story of Sita and Ram, and many other Hindu tales depicted on various items in her fascinating store.

We strolled through the Hauz Khas park, watched the spotted deer and peacocks and stumbled on one ancient building after another. Wherever you go in Delhi there are remnants of its past rulers – Mughals especially but also those pre-dating the arrival of Babur . These buildings are in various states of disrepair and rehabilitation. They dot parks and squares and gardens with Indian life going on around them as if they are unremarkable parts of the landscape. The awe that these buildings inspired in me also made me think about the blood, sweat and tears that must have gone into their construction – all to the greater glory of the winning Y-chromosome.

Last plays

We are making up for lost time and inhaling all the good things that New Delhi has to offer: good food, walks in the park (Lodi Gardens – reminding us of Central Park because of its liveliness), exhilarating rides in auto rickshaws and lunch with Afghan friends. We have nearly done all that we had hoped to do and have tomorrow for the things we missed. We are also starting to get tired of living out of a suitcase and I am getting psychologically ready to return trip to Kabul. Now, with his lungs in better shape, and with a bag full of medicine, Axel is no longer dreading the return.

Tourists again

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

We finally got to be tourists and visited, at long last, Humayoon’s tomb – another magnificent piece of Mughal architecture. We arrived early and had the place nearly to ourselves. Things start late in Delhi – the city wakes up when in Kabul we already have a quarter of the workday behind us. We just left when over a hundred noisy school kids overran the place like a swarm of bees.

Humayoon’s tomb and the walled garden have been restored, much like Babur’s garden in Kabul, with the help of the Aga Khan Trust, the former project puny compared with this one. The educational exhibit showed how the Persian carpet designs (for indoors) mimic the outdoor designs for gardens. The crossover was illustrated by the picture of a carpet from Mashad with gardens on top and the geometrical design of the Persian ‘charbagh’ garden at the bottom. The word paradise, we learned, comes from the Persian words paira daeza, meaning walled garden.

We visited a part of the National Museum until our feet hurt and we felt like taking a nap. From the textile exhibit we learned the various kinds of embroidery, printing, and how gold was applied to cloth. Once again the Persian legacy was everywhere, from the gold threaded textiles to the miniatures depicting Babur and his entourage.

I returned to the tribal areas market and the exhibit on Indian landscapes so Axel could enjoy it as well – but the mounting heat and our aching feet soon led us back to our hotel where we collapsed.

For dinner we made reservations in a lovely restaurant with the very appropriate name of ‘Magique’ in what seems to be a newly developed area of the city – called the Garden of the Five Senses. We ate outside in a garden filled with lanterns, candles, flowers and trees – indeed a garden to delight at least three of our senses (sight, taste, smell) – whatever was supposed to delight our auditory senses was drowned out by being located right underneath the flight path to Indira Ghandi International Airport.

Freedom from johnnie

At 7:45 (PM) exactly Axel was discharged from the hospital after I paid the 5000 rupees not covered by our insurance. The amount included a $100l copayment and the cost of his toothbrush and toothpaste, his flexible tip thermometer, a ‘records charge’ and a consultation from the dietitian. It wasn’t until his last meal that I met her and told her he actually liked Indian food (she had assumed all foreigners didn’t) and a records charge. The actual bill was 40.000 rupees or thereabouts which is less than one thousand dollars. This explains medical tourism.

It took another hour to get his discharge instructions and receive his medicine (against Kabul dust, allergies, antibiotics). Only then did the nurse take out the line into his veins and then we were free.

On our way out I pointed out some of the extraordinary artwork – an entire wall of the hall to the elevators was covered by religious images, in stained glass – first there was the Ohm sign, then Jesus, then a holy man I did not recognize (Moses?), then Allah Akbar in calligraphy and finally the elephant god Ganesh. I wondered what the stern looking Afghans thought when they saw Allah’s name right next to Ganesh.

The hospital was full of Afghans who came to seek the kind of healthcare that doesn’t exist (yet I should say) in Afghanistan. This medical tourism by the middle class and even the poor is what bothers Karzai and his minister of health. They want to do something about this and we are often asked to help.

We splurged on a taxi, rather than a tuk-tuk, into the center of New Delhi and headed for a bar that served wonderful Thai food alongside cold beers and cocktails – something we thought about in the hospital during our three long days there.

Since we didn’t know until late in the day whether Axel would be discharged or not we had planned to postpone our return to Kabul by one more day. As it turned out all the flights on Saturday and Sunday were booked which means we have another three days in Delhi and Axel gets to be a tourist after all.

More hospital fare

The hospital is getting pretty stale – all Axel’s meals, lunch and dinner, are the same; no interesting Indian food. The TV channels are also a bit limited. We are beginning to suspect that the blue sticker on his admission form meant ‘foreigner – treat accordingly.’

Today I happened to be in the room when the doctors (he seems to have three consulting doctors who seem always to be together) showed up for their morning and afternoon rounds. In the morning they stood, looking down on Axel who sat on a low chair, with their arms folded. It was clear who was up and who was down. Later in the day when they returned for their afternoon rounds Axel offered them chairs which they didn’t take, and so Axel stood up to minimize the up/down thing.

Later he was taken down to see the ENT doctor in the outpatient department. The attendant wheeled Axel in front of the busy waiting area, facing the outpatients as if he was going to give them a lecture – in his striped johnnie. Everyone stared at him. Here patients are really patients with very little concern for their psychological safety and privacy. I suppose in a country as full as this one such matters are trifles next to all the life and death stuff that is going on here.

I have been sitting in the stark hospital room. Luckily it’s a private room – he got upgraded after waiting most of the day in the emergency room for a double to open up – which never happened. I read and cross-stitch most days but today I left him for a long afternoon nap and made my way to the Indira Ghandi National Centre for the Arts.

The Centrer had put up a show of the ‘seven sisters.’ This refers to the six states in the far northeast – Sikkim among them – that have more affinity with their other neighbors than with India. The day program was rather limited because of the heat to small stall selling local handicrafts. In the evening, when Delhi wakes up, it gets a bit more interesting with dances and other performances.

Some of the wares for sale looked more like South African crafts and textiles than what I would have expected in this part of the world. One of the states, Nagaland, even sounds as if it should be in southern Africa.

There were few visitors which probably had to do with the temperature, 33 degrees Celsius, which made it tiresome to put one foot in front of the other. On my way out I stumbled on a magnificent exhibit called Oriental Scenery yesterday & tomorrow – two sets of matching views, one aquatints made by Thomas and William Daniell, 200 years ago, the other photographs of the same venues and from the same vantage points by contemporary photographer Antonio Martinelli. Aside from the magnificent images it made me realize that exploring India is a lifetime proposition.

We are once again changing our departure date although we won’t follow the ENT doctor’s advice to stay for another 2 weeks. We expect to be flying back to Kabul on Saturday since the (other) doctors could not say for sure he’d be discharged tomorrow (Thursday).

The ENT doctor had an intern sitting by his side who was from Kabul. He knew exactly what Axel was talking about when he referred to the ubiquitous Kabul dust (khAk) and the havoc that it had caused for Axel’s upper respiratory system.

Delhi hospital adventures – day 2

I visited Axel last night until the hospital appeared to close down for the night. For dinner I went down to the lobby where there is a Subway shop and purchased my very first (ever) Subway sandwich from a helpful shopwallah who explained patiently to me there was a system to putting together a Subway sandwich, going from step one to step four. I order chicken ham expecting both chicken and ham but ham but chicken ham was one thing unrelated to pork.

I took a tuktuk back to the hotel, the little motorized rickshaws that have a turning radius of about one foot. He drove through back alleys and over what seemed sidewalks, past tents where religious celebrations took place that made him laugh, or happy or both. He spoke no English but we managed to get back to the hotel in no time for a couple of dollars.

In the morning I was back at the hospital carrying two coffee lattes up to the patient. The allergy diagnosis has been discarded and now it is simply a bronchial infection that is being treated with frequent doses of antibiotics and a periodic nebulization that is done by an old and noisy machine. The doctors still say ‘a couple of days’ before they think it will clear up.

At naptime, after lunch, I walked over to the shopping center up the street. To get to this glitzy side of India I have to walk past bins overflowing with garbage and a bunch of kids looking for scraps of stuff that is either edible or salable. The stench is horrendous. On the medium strip cows move around lazily, nibbling on the occasional weed that other cows had left untouched.

Next to Axel’s hospital is an Ayurvedic hospital, complete with an emergency department which makes me wonder how Ayurvedic medicine would treat an emergency. Outside the hospital wall are life size pictures of patients receiving copious doses of oil in a variety of ways, making me even more curious. How would they treat a bronchial infection?

I wandered around the very fancy and medium fancy back to back malls looking for a place to eat and stumbled onto a sushi place. I figured I better have sushi now before the oceans are contaminated forever with Japan’s nuclear fallout and sushi restaurants will become extinct.

We are getting phone calls from our daughters. They have lifted Axel’s spirits. Although he is sick, he is well enough to be bored by the hospital routines and the food (exactly the same so far for lunch and for dinner). I brought him my leftover pizza and a tiramisu to liven up his dining experience. Only a nice glass of red wine was missing.

New adventures

[another delayed post from Sikkim] We had a rather quick exit from our lovely Gangtok hotel, faster than we had planned because our plane left two hours earlier than we thought. We had to skip our last leisurely breakfast among the orchids.

Instead we received a boxed meal. And then, the car we had thought was fixed, was not. Our guide hastily arranged another car, not quite as comfy, with a railing to hold on to as if we were going for a roller coaster ride. It could have been – 100 km down the Himalayas to West Bengal’s plains where the airport is and, once again a drop in altitude of about 6000 feet.

We did the ride in a little less than 4 hours. Luck had been on our side; the old car held up well, there were no accidents on the road and it was Sunday so the traffic was light. We were told that once in a while there are drunken elephants holding up traffic where the road intersects a nature reserve down in the plains. Our guide told us stories about having to wait for hours to let the elephants rampage at a safe distance. They come out of the forest and go into the village where the local millet brew is fermenting. They like it a lot and then get drunk. The villagers must have gotten wiser and the brew is less accessible now.

We flew back in a very full Spice Jet to Delhi where a different set of clothes was needed: 33 degrees (Celsius) during the day and in the mid twenties in the evening. We met up with our two reporter friends we had met on our way out in Kabul airport. They had made reservations in a lovely Italian restaurant where real wine was served rather than the Indian substitute that didn’t quite make it to our standards for good wine.

The next morning instead of setting out for some sightseeing, Humayoon’s tomb among other things because we didn’t get to it last time, we decided to make a quick stop at a medical facility to have someone examine Axel’s lungs because he continued to have breathing problems. And then things took a different turn. Axel spent the entire day in the emergency room, first for the check out and then, once the doctor decided he needed to be admitted, waiting the rest of the day for a room.

I spent most of the day by his side, experiencing a day in an Indian emergency room. After noontime things started to pick up, one emergency after another rolled in, with tons of relatives, sometimes wailing, sometimes somber, sometimes resigned. One of Axel’s neighbors, someone’s elderly mother, after heroic efforts by at a large cast of medical characters to save her, was eventually wheeled out with a sheet over her face. It was not a peaceful death although I don’t think she was aware of the many tubes and wires that were used to bring life back to her. I am glad it wasn’t my mom.

And so we are prolonging our stay in Delhi, changing our return trip to Kabul to Friday. The doctor suspects a lung infection and an allergic reaction to Kabul’s dust (the latter did not surprise us) and prepared us for at least a 2 day hospital stay. Humayoon’s tomb will have to wait again.

Here’s a picture of Axel’s hospital dinner.

Catching up – 2

We had a late start because we wanted to, and could, sleep in for a change. Once we got on the road we had car troubles and had to wait for a replacement car. Thus we skipped the sightseeing and went straight to the monastery where the American/Sikkimese parents of the headmaster have their simple lodgings, dad being a lama and both needing simple lifestyles to support their school-founding and school-running habit.

Waiting for lunch we walked several times (clockwise) around the large stupa that was built to honor the late rinpoche, listening to M’s stories about her Calvinist upbringing and its intersecting with her husband being a Buddhist and the son of lama himself.

We then followed her through the labyrinthine monastery up their quarters where a simple and delicious lunch was served. Over our meal we talked about the school, theirs and SOLA, living in Afghanistan, the art and science of teaching and the social mission we are all pursuing in our own individual ways.

Monastic living, though simple as I had expected, had some surprises: wireless internet connections, all the monks having Macs with Sikkimese fonts and prayer books digitized, internal phone lines and a gift shop where offerings were resold and various Buddhist paraphernalia for sale. We bought prayer flags and two amulets; one for mental clarity for Axel and an all-purpose one for me as we are now in the female-iron-rabbit year, a risky one for someone turning 60 in 2011. We also wanted to buy the ‘protection against weapons’ amulet that was listed on the 180 item catalogue that offered protection against just about everything including angry gods and water spirits. But they didn’t have the weapon one – it’s not one that is commonly sought in this peaceful little kingdom.

We said our goodbyes with an invitation to come back anytime, something that Axel is already contemplating. On the way down the hill we visited the Institute for Tibetology – housed in a Tibetan style building and filled with various treasures such as a series of Thankas (silk and brocade painted scrolls) describing the life of Buddha and various local deities, statues, old prayer books in Tibetan and other languages and ceremonial implements.

We had ourselves dropped off in downtown Gangtok where crowds were standing here and there in clumps on the pedestrian MG Marg mall watching TVs displayed in shop windows as Sri Lanka and India were vying for the World Cricket Cup. And then the later afternoon showers started again and Axel got drenched again.

We knew that India had won the world cup when all hell broke loose outside our hotel, firecrackers, gongs, drums. We are happy for India but I still don’t understand a thing about cricket.


February 2026
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
232425262728  

Categories

Blog Stats

  • 137,627 hits

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 76 other subscribers