Sylvia's Journal

It has been a little over five weeks that I completed the 4 weeks of daily radiation. After my last treatment on May 12 and ringing the big bronze ships’s bell, to the applause of all the other cancer patients waiting for their turn, I thought I was done. The nurse had told me to keep babying my left breast with hydrating cream for awhile longer. In the coming weeks I could expect (more) tiredness and some of the same very short zings I had experienced now and then during the treatments. She assured me that the whole radiation phase would most likely be behind me in 2 to 4 weeks.

I kept describing to my friends and family that the radiation had been easy. Compared to other people’s stories I hear on a breast cancer support group Zoom call I join periodically, I seem to be the lucky one. But the thought that I could close the radiation chapter of my cancer journey by mid June, turned out to be wrong. One woman on the call earlier this week said the after effects of her radiation treatment lasted 4 months. Of course our experiences are all very different, but that comment gave me pause.

I now suspect that the radiation has compromised my immunity – how could it not have! I caught laryngitis several weeks ago, a rare occurrence for me. My voice is not quite back where it was before. My yoga friend Ann called my low croaky voice sexy. I didn’t feel that way. I also have had several moments where I suddenly felt as if I am a deflating balloon which makes me want to nap. For the energizer bunny I am, this experience is new to me. I have never been good at napping, but now I cannot help myself. I canceled a few events where I had to be around a bunch of people in a social setting. The thought itself tired me out.

The next part of my cancer journey started last week with an old cancer workhorse, the pill Tamoxifen. It is an estrogen blocker that stops the hormone from signaling cancer cells to grow and multiply. Although not usually prescribed for post-menopausal women, it also maintains bone density which is an important benefit because of my osteoporosis. Another class of pills to prevent recurrence & growth of cancer cells, Aromatase Inhibitors, confusingly called AI, does not, which is why my oncologist and I choose Tamoxifen. At this moment I don’t know what the side effects will be of this new pill added to my daily pill collection. I will be on it for the next 5 years. I will be nearing 80 by then and keep my fingers crossed that the cancer will be gone for good, entirely and distantly in the rearview mirror.