Sylvia's Journal

We had caught many crabs in Axel’s new trap, with the tailfin of the 40 pound striper as bait. But the crabs are smart, especially the larger ones. One of them opened the hatch and all but the small ones escaped after having filled their bellies with decomposing striper meat, yum.

We returned the trap to the middle of the cove and caught another load. There is no lack of green crabs in our cove, which we already knew as the new generation of mussels have been eaten, leaving us with the same elderly mussels and thus diminishing returns. I suppose that eating the crabs is just another way of enjoying our mussels, a second hand way.

Steve and Tessa cleaned up the estate, we had one more meal, using up the leftovers from the party and then we parted. It was a wonderful celebratory weekend. Steve brought the crab trap up and I turned the inhabitants into crab bisque, an improvised soup that included all the vegetables in the refrigerator that needed to be put out of their suffering. It came out perfect and will feed us for a few days.

In the afternoon we went to the funeral service for Sita’s friend Shelby. It brought together the old high school group of friends, uncomfortable in their funeral attire and still grieving deeply about one more friend who was no longer there. It was a very Catholic service which to some was soothing and to me a source of distraction. The language was about joy and hope and reuniting with Christ; the imagery of sitting at the same table as God. It doesn’t work for me but I can see how these beliefs can be a comfort to others. Knowing Shelby I imagined her looking down and giggling about all the hooplala.

After the service there was the cemetery and then the Franco-American club where food and drink awaited us. Sita and Jim had driven out and parked Faro at his grannie; so we didn’t get to see him. His presence might have lightened up the mood but he was napping, saving the mood for later during the long ride back home.

Shelby was an artist and a very creative mind. Her portfolios were on display and her mom and I shook our heads, acknowledging how death is such a waste of talent.

A hurricane’s passing east of us produced a lot of rain on the 3rd and 4th of July. For the first time in years it wasn’t sweltering hot during the 4th of July parade and for the first time in years we weren’t even there to witness it. Axel had promised Sita and Jim we would babysit while they made music with many other bands and friends in the afternoon of the fourth. And so we drove out to western Massachusetts on the 3rd and passed the 4th as if it was an ordinary day, made extraordinary by being in the presence of our grandson. We are now teaching him where Ouagadougou is – after a little thinking he responds, Burkina (we dropped the Faso part to keep it simple, not wanting to overtax the developing synapses). By the time he is 6 he should have the map of Africa in his head!

When we returned home the preparations for Tessa’s annual beach birthday bash were in full swing. It is now the fifth year of the Silent Disco as the center piece of the celebration. Tessa made a special sweatshirt, reminiscent of Endless Summer with its yellow, pink and orange hues and SDbTS V printed in between the lobster claws (Silent Disco by the Sea, 5th year). Silent disco allows for a dance party with a DJ but without disturbing the neighbors, as the music is only heard through headphones. It’s one of those party innovations that makes so much sense – one can dance to loud music and then have a quite conversation just by removing the headphones.

While Tessa’s party was starting with people tricking in from noon onwards, we dressed up to go to Axel’s 50th high school reunion. He is considered part of the class even though he left before graduation. It was a bittersweet affair, with happy reunions and sad tales of loss of life partners and health. The goodbyes were particularly difficult as everyone knew some people would not be there for the next reunion.

Back at home the pace of the party had picked up. There was much coming and going all through the day, the night and even the next day. This is a party that looks like a bell curve, with the top of the bell curve somewhere between 10 PM and noon the next day. When the weather is as perfect as it was this weekend, the party goes on until it is over. Now, on Monday morning, one more tent remains, with two occupants who really know how to party.

On Sunday morning, one hour before dead low tide, two friends of Tessa went out in a canoe and caught a 5 feet striper. The striper did not give up the fight easily, capsized the boat and broke the rod. The capsized boat also contained an iPhone, a camera and another rod. All were retrieved later except for the iPhone which is now, I suppose, a curiosity for the creatures on the ocean floor.

The story of the fish, and the fish itself, were shared for the rest of the day. Last year a large striper was also caught, so this is now the new tradition, and although the process by which the fish was caught was a little scary, we hope Tessa’s fishing friends will continue the tradition. Fish cooked on the grill at the beach, along with bacon and eggs, made for a nice morning-after breakfast.

I am back at work after a wonderful few days at home with my family. It is a bit of a slow time, with deliverables delivered from the previous assignments and the next one, though only 9 days away, not ready for action yet.

I am taking care of small bits and pieces of work, promises I made and trying to refresh my memory of how to work a database that has been languishing since before Afghanistan because of a false move between computers. No database expert has been able to help me so far so I think I am going to return to my notes from an internet course, more than a decade ago, given by our local community college.

One of the more difficult bits and pieces on my to do list is writing a letter in support of an Afghan colleague who is applying for a visa to the US because he has received threats that make living in Afghanistan increasingly dangerous; something about kidnappings and kidnappers being killed and revenge. I realize how lucky I am to live in a place that has a functioning legal system, recourse for wrongful actions and some basic protections. He has none of that, in spite of the billions of dollars that we have poured into Afghanistan. Such basic stuff that we take for granted.

I look out of the window and count my blessings: green, sun, water, a good job here, and 30 miles to the north more of that.

One of those blessings is Tessa who arrived on July 2nd 29 years ago. I remember the day like yesterday. First there were the croissants that Axel had intended to crisp in oven of the birth center. But the oven was defective and it went into self-cleaning mode which means the oven locks and heats till 500 degrees. It brought the fire trucks out instantly and was a nice distraction to the more and more sever contractions. It made for a memorable birth, as if one needs to be made more memorable.

That little redhead has now grown into a confident and competent 29 year old owner of a graphic design firm with an ever increasing cast of clients, engaged to a wonderful man and with two sweet dogs, our grand-dogs. What more could I wish?

I came home to my favorite place and people of the world on what we call a 10+ day. And these days stayed through the weekend. But I also came home to the most devastating news that yet another very close friend of Sita had died. Thirteen years ago this scenario played out and now these wounds are ripped open again and we are once again grieving and wondering how all this could have happened again. This young woman too was an only child of a single mother and Sita and Jim, with their other friends have circled around her to lighten the load of dealing with the aftermath.

This was, with all the sadness, a bonus for me as I had not expected to see Sita, Jim and Faro this soon. They drove down to be with their friends who live near us, sharing their sadness and memories.

Faro, oblivious to all this, was in seventh heaven; having an opa and oma who have a beach and a whole ocean to play in, is his bonus. Axel and Faro walked the beach – a dream come true for Axel and a nice memory in the making for Faro. He is less interested in the crabs than in the stones – a whole beach full of stones that can be picked up and thrown to make a splash in the water. But then he got sick on Saturday and has kept us all busy since then; worried parents who never had a sick child, interrupted nights and a very unhappy child.

The weather has allowed us to find distraction in gardening. While I was away weeds had invaded the newly planted garden, overshadowing the seedlings of carrots, beets and chard. I spent about four hours on my knees pulling weeds, thinning the seedlings and removing the many volunteers that had picked some choice sunny spots. Axel worked on his boat so he can start putting out the lobster pots again.

To make the family fest complete, Tessa and Steve showed up with their two dogs and Axel put their bed together in the studio so they can now stay overnight. The cheap IKEA fold out we had bought for this purpose had chased them away – too hard and too short for long-legged Steve. I am anxiously awaiting whether the new arrangement, made from our old bed, was satisfactory.

We had a joyful dinner with everyone around the table, the center piece (for me at least) a huge salad of micro greens, results of the thinning process. The four carnivores in our family probably thought the sirloin and angus steaks were the center piece. It is so good to be home, even with all the worries and sadness.